Thought It Was ForeverI was engaged to a guy who I thought was the most amazing guy in the world we had so much in common, our religion, tv, food everything really, he would comfort me when I had nightmares, he would listen to anything I had to say and give me advice if I needed it. He was the one, or so i thought he was. I shall start from the beginning of the end. I decided to head home for a while to see family while he was on a mission trip, I missed him so much while I was home that on a Monday night I decided to ring him and tell him that I was coming to see him. He told me that I shouldn't go and visit him and that he thinks that we should break up, I didn't understand why he wanted to break up with me, we was in the final stages if getting married, i was so heartbroken i was in tears on the phone telling him that we can work this out, we can get through this bump, he told me that when he got back we would meet and talk about it, and that I should go and fetch my stuff from his, I went over a few days later where his father was there waiting for me with my bags packed it all seemed so final for saying that it wasn't that long till we would have been married, we didn't have that talk when he got back, he said that there was nothing to talk about and that we was just over. I fell into a dark depression over that time and no one could help me not even my mother she was so scared about what I would do. I still remember now a message my mum put on Facebook when I finally got some sleep it said Rowie asleep at last, first time in days and my sister was so happy that I had finally gotten some sleep and my mum put that she was so worried about me as I had been awake far to long and not eaten, it was nearly a month of me hardly eating or sleeping when she put that message on Facebook, I just didn't know how to cope without him in my life, my life had turned completely upside down, I had a job, a fiancé, a home, friends and after him saying just a few words it all just disappeared and I was back home living with mum, without a job or friends as I didn't live near them anymore and they were mostly his friends. It has been 3 years since then and it has been an emotional rollercoaster and I feel like I am coming to the end of it, I still have questions which will never be answered but I feel like I have answered them myself though things I have noticed him do. Like I believe that he didn't really love me because he is now married to the girl who he met on his mission trip and he said she was nobody, I feel like I am ready to start dating again and that although it will be hard to trust and fall in love with someone again it will happen and it will be so much better than it was with him. I also know that without God in my life and people in my church who helped me through it I could still be in that dark place. I still have days when I go back to that place but I remember what an amazing friend said to me. Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you declares The Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
So I now am starting to realise that I have someone so much better coming into my life, and when that does happen I will totally forget about my past hurts and I will be much more in love than I was which I find hard to believe that I could be, but it will happen. One Day