Where To Begin.....have I Really Suvived Yet?

It's been 4 weeks since my wife and I separated.

I have been living on my own in our family home for the whole time, while she’s been living with her brother.

I know this website is about sharing stories of Surviving Heartbreaks, and I know I haven't survived it by any means. However I think in order for me to survive this, I need to talk about it to people I don't know, to just write these words down and for me to get things off my chest.

Whiles it's 100% healthy and advisable to talk to friends and family, I think there will always be certain things that are not said or you remember something after the conversation is over etc, so I think doing this is my best way of putting things into perspective.

I love her, I miss her. We have not spent a day in the last 6 years not talking to each other, even if we just text/msn each other. Since living together, we have only spent a handful of days not actually seeing each other. So suffice to say, if have been in agony these past 4 weeks. I have been texting her, something’s more frequently than I should but I miss her, I miss not having her around to talk to. Even just silly little things that happened during the day. Funny observations I would normally tell her about...

I'm not going to go into details and bore people with why we split up, it's been very amicable and I hope it will remain that way. No one has done anything wrong so to speak. I still love her very very much and despite the pain and torment I have been through these last 4 weeks, I would take her back no questions asked.

Unfortunately, to start my healing process, I need to tell myself this will not happen; she is not going to come back. There has been opportunities where she could have but didn't. We have shared one night together in the last 4 weeks, it was the night she finally plucked up the courage and actually said it's over; before that, we were just taking time out from each other. Anyway, that night will always be remembered lovingly but at the same time, it will always haunt me. We talked, we cried, we laughed and we went to bed in each others arms. We woke up together; we held each other and talked cried and laughed some more. Then it was time to let her go.

This break up has been almost unbearable for me, but when the moment came where I know I had to let her go and anything we had is in the past, that was the single most painful moment I have ever experienced. My heart is breaking as I’m re-telling it.

I haven't got any tips on surviving heartbreak, cos I haven't survived this very well. 4 weeks out of 6 years is nothing, I need more time to process and more time to adjust. My mind hasn't gotten used to not having her around.

I miss her so so much

theslims theslims
31-35, M
4 Responses Feb 21, 2010

The best way to win a woman back is to start to become the person they first fell in love with.Stop texting;she needs to miss you and feel what it is like with out you. You actually need to think about what it was that went wrong in the relationship so it can be repaired in the future. Right now you shouldn't even think about getting her back(neither of you sound ready as there is too much emotion and you would feel needy and have fear she will leave you again). You need to feel back in control of your emotions. However hard it is you have to find things that make you happy;it is when you stop contcating her, start exercising(looking good) and going out that she WILL be back in touch. I am trying to follow my own advice and although I want to text so badley(after 47 texts I think I have prob said all that needs to be said). i need to give him time to miss me and have to stop my path of self destruction and start looking and feeling human again. It is hard but I put on happy music only, go mates every night(they must be sick of me by now). He did love me but he wont love me when I am down and needy. I have to start looking and feeling good as it was the pocitive me that will make him remember what we had. And should she or in my case he not come back then we will both be a stronger and bettter person for it. You ahve an explanation, my ex refused to even text me or acknowledge me and all I got was the key through the door so it will help that you have answers and closure.

very similar to my story. it takes a long time. best of luck to you x

I really feel for you. You might want to look at the quiz at http://www.whenyourloverleavesyou.com/Ready%20or%20Not%20Quiz.pdf to see how your healing is going. The rest of the strategies on the website, and the e-guide itself, are so helpful too. They help match what you're feeling to what you can do about it. It hasn't ended my pain, but it's really helped.

Damn that was so sad to read. I'm so sorry