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How Do You Heal?

My husband and I have been together for seven years. Two summers ago, in the midst of extreme financially difficulty, my husband tried to commit suicide. It was July 20, and my parents and sister and I were just returning home after a family get together. My husband was supposed to pick me up from my parents' house. The first sign that something was wrong, was when I couldn't get him on the phone. Worried, I sat down on my parents couch to wait for a little before calling again. About ten minutes later, my parents' phone rang. I answered. A pleasant woman on the other end asked to speak with me. She told me that my husband was in the emergency room, having just attempted to kill himself. I was told that he was alright, and that I could come see him.

When I arrived, I tried very hard to keep my composure. Walking from the front of the hospital to the emergency room was the longest two minutes of my life. As I was brought to his room, I couldn't stop myself. I cried. I knew that my husband didn't need to be burdened with my emotions at that moment, but I couldn't help it. He looked so ragged. He was extremely pale. His wrists were bandaged from trying to slit them, and his throat was badly bruised from attempting to hang himself. My rock had crumbled. Seeing me, he began to cry. I hugged and kissed him.

A nurse came in and informed me that my husband would have to be moved to another facility. It is state law that once a person tries to injure themselves they must be held for 72 hours for observation and he couldn't take up room in the emergency ward. To make things worse, my husband's incident had butted up against a weekend--meaning that he would be held for at least five days because no counselors would be present over the weekend at the new facility.

I followed an ambulance a fair distance to a mental hospital. I was patted down before I was allowed to enter. My husband was checked in over the course of a couple of hours. (As time has gone by, I have let the specifics of everything surrounding that day dull. I don't come back to this horrible day much. It hurts too much to.) Much of the day, we sat in silence, crying or just reeling from the severity of the situation. How could we afford this? We were barely making ends meet, what now? How long would he be hospitalized? Etc. Once he had gone through the admittance process, I was forced to leave. (Most mental hospitals have very controlled visitation hours.)

I returned the next day in time to visit and stayed for the entire time I was allowed. It was so hard to see my husband in the hospital. To visit, I had to be checked in--the doors unlocked to let me in and re-locked behind me. Anything that could have been used as a weapon was removed--no hardback books, no belts, no shoelaces. One of the worst things was the hospital's rules about affection. Hugging was to be kept to a minimum, hand holding was allowed, but only in small amounts. Kissing and such was strictly prohibited. This was hard. All I wanted to do was take my husband in my arms and make it better--to kiss him and tell him it would be alright.

The worst experience of all was at the end of every visit, my husband would look at me and beg me not to go. There was nothing that I could do. I had to leave and he couldn't come with me. Each day as I surveyed the hospital, I just kept thinking that he didn't belong there. The other patients were much worse--very serious cases--talking to people that didn't exist, thrashing out violently, screaming and crying. It was heartbreaking to walk out those doors every night--to turn around and watch the door shut and lock behind me, and most of all to see him through the window a sad misguided shell of a man surrounded by scary imbalanced people.

For well over a week, I traveled daily to see him. Finally, he was released. I brought him home to a house full of "Welcome Home" decorations. He has been attending a therapist since then, and has really learned to talk about his feelings--rather than waiting until he feels too overwhelmed to take it. His healing is well on the road--even our financial situation has improved--somehow though, in all the craziness, I lost something. I lost the comfort in our relationship. I see that he is doing better, but everyday I wake up wondering if/when it will all fall apart again. My husband may be whole again, but in many ways it feels like I never will be. Did he do it because of me? If he felt that life wasn't worth living anymore, what does that say about how he feels about me? How can I trust that he is okay when he was so good at hiding it all before? How do I heal?

onesmittenkitten onesmittenkitten 26-30, F 15 Responses May 15, 2008

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Thank you all for sharing your stories. My boyfriend tried to kill himself a month and a week ago. I am the one who found him and saved him. I am still having flashbacks of that day and dealing with a lot of different emotions. He has since broken up with me but wants to stay friends for now; however, he said he doesn't want to talk a bunch until he gets better. We have seen each other twice very briefly since it happened. He has said maybe someday when he is better, maybe we will date again but he doesn't know what the future holds. He is still suicidal and having panic attacks. He is 27 and I am 29. I told his mother the day after it happened and his family blames me. They took his phone and blocked me on it and told him not to date or see me anymore. He has been staying at his parents' house for the last month. His mom finally got him in to see a therapist a week ago.

I have so many questions and worries...how long will it take him to get better? How could he do this if he truly loved me? Why did he see no other option to solve his problems? Will he do it again? How can I best help him? This is all awful to deal with. It gives me hope that others have made it through. Thanks for letting me share.

i am in a similar situation. he used a gun on himself. Family blames me..I saved him. He's now in a vegetative state. His family who's rarely around and lives near by had put so much pressure on him to be successful. he was facing a job loss in January. Scared to lose his home and cars he worked hard for coupled with alcoholism. I had reached out to everyone I could and eventually he attended AA courses. But that didn't work bc he felt he was "ok" and didn't need help. So here i am being blamed and walk through the corridors of the acute ltc unit while listening to snide comments by the family, morning and at night. Not that I am blaming anyone for his alcoholism and depression but perhaps the parents that didn't have the 'time' to raise him should have instilled coping strategies, as a child.

My husband shot himself too. He ended up surviving but his family and our children blamed me at first. It wasn't until he was able to talk to them before they stopped blaming. Actually, I think his parents still blame me despite him telling them that I have done nothing but love him. It's so much easier to blame someone else than the loved one that's lying in the hospital. Hang in there. They will probably come around and if they don't then they're not worth your time and energy.

I know that this post was written in 2008, but just in case the original poster reads this I thought I would post back. A very similar situation happened to me this May. I wept reading your story. My husband also attempted suicide for financial reasons. Your whole story is my EXACT experience and I am working through the trauma now. My husband is getting better but as you said my comfort level in our marriage is gone, my trust that he will be there and protect me is gone. How are you now? I would love to hear from someone that is a few years out, How is your husband?

First, I would like to say that I am very sorry to hear that we have shared such a similar experience. Secondly, your desire to hear where things stand in my life now is exactly why I keep up with my story's posts, even though the page doesn't get much traffic. I feel that it might be helpful to others to know what may be coming down the road after such a traumatic life experience. Let me just say that, while the situation felt like the end of my world at the time, it has been far from it. In actuality, life has really become quite wonderful for my husband and I. We still struggle financially, but we get by and are happy. His suicide attempt actually helped open doors for him to receive the treatment he so desperately needed. It also forced open lines of communication between us on emotional topics and problems that needed to be addressed. Today we are better friends, companions, and partners to one another than we ever could have been without going through this. Actually, I'm really happy and blessed to say that yesterday we celebrated our four year wedding anniversary. Two days prior to that, we welcomed our first child into this world. Believe it or not, there can be life after a suicide attempt, and sometimes, it can be even better than life was before. I wish you and your husband much luck during this rough time. Talk to each other, and don't shy away from the tough stuff. Love each other and be supportive. If you both care enough, things CAN get better. I know because I've lived it.

I have just had a similar situation. My husband becomes enraged sometimes when negative things get said about our relationship. It happened this weekend. He worked himself up until he couldn't control himself anymore. He put his hands on my throat to choke me but only kissed me forcefully, then told me to get the hell out of his house, but took my glasses. Because I am basically blind, I told him I couldn't leave without my glasses. I was walking to the back bedroom and he grabbed my legs and drug me to the front of the house to throw me out, which he succeeded after 10 minutes of me struggling. He then told me immediately to come back inside. He woke my son up and helped me try to pack, but then went to the kitchen and pretended to call 911. He said that his wife was going crazy and stabbing him, then grabbed a knife. He didn't stab himself that time. After he called my mother to come get her ******* daughter, he went to the kitchen and slit his wrists in front of my son and I, at which point I called 911. They came to take him to get treatment, and he was very uncooperative, but they released him the same night. They said he was trying to scare me.



I had to take my clothes and my sons clothes, and just leave the next day after I had spent the night at my parents'. We have been in contact through text because he doesn't feel comfortable talking on the phone. I just feel awful for him most of all. But I also feel awful that I can''t be there for him because I am afraid for my safety. He got out of the Army 8 months ago and hasn't been adjusting well at all. He feels worthless and no matter what I tell him, nothing helps. He is refusing to get help. He is threatening to sue the hospital for battery during forced treatment. I am trying to get him set up for treatment with the VA, but the biggest problem is that he doesn't think there is anything wrong with him, that our relationship is causing the problem, but his mother told me he terrorized their family for years with this rage and violence. I had no idea. I just wish that I hadn't been so depressed and in denial or I would have made him get help a long time ago. He had counseling while he was in the Army but I know he lied and held most of it back. I want so much to be there for him but he is so angry for me calling 911 and that i wasn't there for him when he needed me the most... but honestly? How could I stay after that? I am honestly afraid that he is going to hurt me and not be able to control it. I don't want a divorce. I want to get him help. But I can't force him to do so!



Reading these stories have helped me a lot. onesmittenkitten's advice to just be supportive and not bring up my emotions have rang true to me, but it is so hard not to say how I feel when he is putting me through so much an manipulating me to feel guilty. He isn't just hurting himself. he is being violent with me and I can't stay around for that. He needs help. It doesn't do any good sugar coating anything. He breaks things all the time, and the hands around my throat have become more frequent. I pretend like nothing has happened the next day because I don't want to hate himself anymore than he already does. But that is not working. I had to break the cycle and leave and make him really think about what his life means to him, and what me and my son mean to him. I know I am not perfect. I am codependent and controlling, but I am going to a VA counselor tomorrow to help myself. I just wish he would realize it and do the same.

My heart hurts so much to read some of these stories. The one year anniversary of my husbands drug addiction coming to light and his suicide attempt is this week. I've tried to be strong and understand him, but my heart feels broken. He did this 6 months after we were married. Because of this he has not had a job for a year, we are losing our house, we are going bankrupt, and he doesn't understand the emotions I am going through. He used to be the strong one, but he's not any more. I feel like my strength is running out and I just want to hide in bed and cry. I see a therapist, but it only helps so much. I wish luck to all of you going through this and maybe you can shed some light on how to heal.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Last year I attempted suicide by taking pills and called 911 because I knew I didn't want to die. My live-in boyfriend came home from playing ball and found my empty prozac bottle on the counter and the phone on the floor and my car in the driveway. He panicked but knew exactly what I had done and where to find me. I don't remember anything about what happened (ambulance ride, intake, treatment) for the rest of the day. He stayed in the hospital with me for 4 days, brought me food, and held my hand. But he was angry and hurt and disappointed in me. I could see it in his face and in his cold hands and in his solemn face. He didn't cry though I did. I apologized and promised to start seeing a psychiatrist again (I had stopped). I did start seeing a psychiatrist and he helped he accept the following:

1. We were in a codependent relationship of 5 years (no kids)

2. I was the giver in the relationship, the one that made sacrifices (professional, geographic, financial) and he was the taker.

3. My low-self esteem was a response to his instinctive ability to leave me out of his social and work life. In the 5 years I didn't know many of his friends, even other couple friends. He visited his family without me. Sometimes lied or withheld information about his whereabouts.

4. Elements of my BPD were being activated by him all the time - he wasn't doing it intentionally but it was happening (Black/white thinking, paranoia, sudden aggression). He attributed the lying to me and social isolation as his way of coping with my unpredictable behavior.

5. He might very well suffer from a disorder as well but has gone undiagnosed.



Today... We are going to couple's counseling and are working hard. I am still not a part of his social life, really, although he has been a lot less social. He is still resentful about my lack of control over my emotions and is open about the fact that he isn't sure if this is a good relationship for him, yet he stays and he is working on things with me. IS HE TRYING TO HEAL? IS HE AFRAID TO LEAVE? DID HE CONTRIBUTE TO MY EMOTIONAL DECLINE? AM I HEALING IN THE WAY I NEED TO? IS THE RELATIONSHIP TOXIC AND BEYOND REPAIR?

Reading these post has really helped me. I have felt overwhelmed and alone with dealing with my husband. Thank you for share and letting me know I am not the only one out here.

Dear All,

Thank you for all the supportive statemens about healing. I am in a similar situation with my husband of many years. He is suffering from PTSD and recently attempted to commit suicide. He would not be here, alive, if it hadn't been for a friend who fround him and called 911. I was at work 40 minutes away and couldn't have reached him in time even if I had known. I am so grateful to our friiend and God for saving his life. He spent a week in the hospital at the V.A. ..first in ICU and then in the mental lock-down unit. We are going to V.A. marriage counseling, V.A. counseling for him separately to work through some of the serious PTSD guilt issues he has. I am, also, going to a private counselor to get help to deal with the trauma and my own secondary PTSD symptoms. I think I am healing. But, it will be a long time before I will be back to feeling normal. I have so many episodes of remembering what happened, crying and feeling guilty for what happened. I know in my heart that the counselors keep telling me that it is not my fault. But, it is hard to understand that when your husband tried to leave you by killing himself. I know God has forgiven me, but it is hard for me to forgive myself for whatever may have caused him to go over the "deep-end". He is addicted to *********** and we did have an argument about that the night before he attempted suicide. I told him I didn't know if I could live with him when he was constantly doing ***********.I told him that I wanted to prayfullly consider and think about what to do for a week and then we could talk about it again. I felt like I was too upset at the time to make any decisions that would affect our lives so strongly. But, somehow he decided that I was going to leave him and he decided to end his life. He wrote a long sluicide letter to me, our kids and all of our friends, (We didn't get the letter until after he was unconscious). He timed it so that we woud not be able to save him. Thank God our friend was in an unexpected place and was able to get there in time. I am being supportive in

any way that I can. I love him. After all these years of living with someone with PTSD. he is disabled and cannot work I have basically been a caregiver for many years. I have been treated for depression many times, too. I think most of my depression comes from the years of dealing with

someone you love dearly who is unable to be intimate and often cannot think rationally about life.

I want to heal. We both need to heal. I guess I need to hear that things will get better and that I will eventually be able to deal with the horrible trauma we have been through. I know many of you have the same feelings. Prayer does help me so much. God is good. I know there is a reason for everything that happens. I hope I can be helpful to someone out there going through the same type of situation. God Bless! I know this New Year will be much better!! Thanks for listening. I needed so much to write down m;y feelings! Take care and believe!

Dear All,

Thank you for all the supportive statemens about healing. I am in a similar situation with my husband of many years. He is suffering from PTSD and recently attempted to commit suicide. He would not be here, alive, if it hadn't been for a friend who fround him and called 911. I was at work 40 minutes away and couldn't have reached him in time even if I had known. I am so grateful to our friiend and God for saving his life. He spent a week in the hospital at the V.A. ..first in ICU and then in the mental lock-down unit. We are going to V.A. marriage counseling, V.A. counseling for him separately to work through some of the serious PTSD guilt issues he has. I am, also, going to a private counselor to get help to deal with the trauma and my own secondary PTSD symptoms. I think I am healing. But, it will be a long time before I will be back to feeling normal. I have so many episodes of remembering what happened, crying and feeling guilty for what happened. I know in my heart that the counselors keep telling me that it is not my fault. But, it is hard to understand that when your husband tried to leave you by killing himself. I know God has forgiven me, but it is hard for me to forgive myself for whatever may have caused him to go over the "deep-end". He is addicted to *********** and we did have an argument about that the night before he attempted suicide. I told him I didn't know if I could live with him when he was constantly doing ***********.I told him that I wanted to prayfullly consider and think about what to do for a week and then we could talk about it again. I felt like I was too upset at the time to make any decisions that would affect our lives so strongly. But, somehow he decided that I was going to leave him and he decided to end his life. He wrote a long sluicide letter to me, our kids and all of our friends, (We didn't get the letter until after he was unconscious). He timed it so that we woud not be able to save him. Thank God our friend was in an unexpected place and was able to get there in time. I am being supportive in

any way that I can. I love him. After all these years of living with someone with PTSD. he is disabled and cannot work I have basically been a caregiver for many years. I have been treated for depression many times, too. I think most of my depression comes from the years of dealing with

someone you love dearly who is unable to be intimate and often cannot think rationally about life.

I want to heal. We both need to heal. I guess I need to hear that things will get better and that I will eventually be able to deal with the horrible trauma we have been through. I know many of you have the same feelings. Prayer does help me so much. God is good. I know there is a reason for everything that happens. I hope I can be helpful to someone out there going through the same type of situation. God Bless! I know this New Year will be much better!! Thanks for listening. I needed so much to write down m;y feelings! Take care and believe!

My Husband of 28 years, tried to take an overdose, but I foumd Him and to the hospital. eversince. He treats me like I am some kind of monter. He has not touched me in over 5 years. My self esteem has gone so low I have none. He says He loves me but he treats me like I am a room mate. Icry most of the time because I feel like I'm all alone. I have to be hugged or touched somehiow every now and then. WE have not had or even got close enough to have anykind of marital relations. What do I do or say that can bring somekind of healing to this relationship.I would love to be held the way he used to and I felt like I was the most precious thing he had. Now nothing.

Jepairfrog, I would love to give you some food for thought to help you work through what, I am sure is a difficult time for both you and your husband. One of the things that kept my partner and I together was my choice to put my feelings and thoughts regarding my boyfriend's suicide attempt to the side. Your husband is clearly in a lot of pain and under a lot of stress. Try to focus on helping him work through his issues. Not that your feelings aren't important, but clearly your partner is under enough stress as it is. Adding all of your concerns into the mix may just further overwhelm him. This is not to say you shouldn't address your issues with this relationship, rather that you should wait until your husband is in a better place emotionally to broach them. Start a journal or diary and fill it with all your concerns. (Mine tended to come in waves at night, so I kept a book by my bed.) Writing them down helped get them out of my mind, but ensured that when my man was able to handle talking about it, I wouldn't forget something important. I would also strongly suggest trying to talk to your husband about what motivated him to try and kill himself. Make it clear that, even though you know it will be hard, it is necessary for him to be able to share with you his feelings so that you can get him the help that he needs. Let him know that if he truly wants you to continue to be together, if he really loves you, that he must face and share his stressors and worries with you AND medical professionals. Emphasize your love for him, your belief that he can get through this, and especially, the fact that he is not fighting this battle alone. Be encouraging! You may be surprised how re-dedicating your life to your man can inject new life, happiness, and purpose into your relationship. Cook him a special treat, rub his back/feet/etc, watch his favorite movie/sport/TV show. You may find that these simple niceties take little effort on your part, but can mean so much to your partner. Your valuing him can help him feel good and value himself. When your husband is able to express his problems to you, help him come up with a plan of attack. If you had a serious disease, you wouldn't sit back and let it ravage your life, you'd do everything in your power to fight it! Depression is no different. Discuss treatment methods, if money is an issue, look into services and programs offered by both your county and state. If you are in need, they will help you. The low income assistance may come slowly, but it will come through! His hospitalization alone shows the severity of his situation/need, so the door for required assistance is already open. Finally, regarding your lagging sex life, try not to focus on sexual experiences for the moment. When you are sick, you often feel zapped of strength. You wouldn't want your partner to put pressure on you for physical gratification while you were ill

Sorry, replying on my cell and hit "post" by accident. I'm just going to pick up where I left off.

Similarly, feeling depressed can really suck your sex drive right out of you. Try not to feel like you are being shunned. The issue is NOT with you. It is within your husband. Also, anti-depressants tend to have sexual dysfunction as a side effect, so if your partner was taking them prior to his suicide attempt, there is a strong possibility that the two are related. If not, consider the following: Normal people do not have just one bad day that drives them to suicide. It is usually a journey that can take weeks, months, and even years. I'm guessing that your husband may have been depressed for a long time, even if he hasn't spoken with you about it before. This could totally account for your 5 year long dry spell. The average guy spends his life being bombarded by media, gender roles, and male machismo that says that men are responsible for the well being of their family unit. If something happens, like financial difficulty or loss of a job, the man can sometimes feel that he is not living up to the world's expectations, even if you aren't upset by the issue. The man still may feel inferior or that, in some way, his inability to fix the problem makes him less of a man. Making a man feel incapable or emasculated is a sure fire way to kill a his virility, even if such behaviors are self-imposed. If you think there may be some force outside of the situation which may be contributing to his depression, reassure him that you can fix it together. Remind him that you are there to help put things to rights and that he is not fighting this battle alone. Nothing can bring you together and reignite passion like facing adversity together. Try to help him remember how good it felt to be together. Both physically and emotionally. If a hug makes you feel better when you're down, imagine how good a nice sweaty session can make BOTH of you feel, all nice and warm and loved. What better way to reinstill some manliness than taking your wife to pound town?!?! (I don't mean to be vulgar, but truthfully, we still have those primal, caveman instincts and nothing taps into that in men like sex.) Finally, try to remember what brought you together in the first place. Remind your husband why you love him. Let him know how proud you are of the person he is, even at his weakest. Remind him that your partnership means he NEVER has to face the world alone again, even through this. In the end, you have a long road to hoe, but as a couple committed to each other you can make it. Practice patience and give your love freely, without resentment or judgement, to him always and take it one day at a time. Life can return to normal in time. It will just be a new, stronger, more committed normal, which has been pretty fantastic for my husband and me. You are in my prayers. Good luck and God bless.

Culpabella, I am so sorry to hear your story. I am sure it has been very hard for you. However, I would like to follow up my initial post with an update. At the time of my initial post, my boyfriend had just attempted suicide. I was in the midst of his emotional upheaval. I didn't hold a lot of hope for the relationship in general, even though I loved my boyfriend like mad. Today, four years later, things are much different. In the summer of 2008, we were married and we have grown and prospered since his suicide attempt. We receive regular therapy and medication for our bipolar disorders. We talk a lot about the things that are happening in our lives. We have worked together to better handle our finances, allowing us to move into a better apartment, and have even been able to fit some traveling into our schedules. Overall, we feel that while we have been through a lot, it has only served to bring us closer together. If you or a loved one is struggling with thoughts of suicide, PLEASE SPEAK UP! Even having one person "on your side" can make the difference. Allow them to help you! There is a happy life out there for you. You have to have hope. There are countless people out there going through the exact same thing you are, reach out to them. There is light at the end of the tunnel--especially if you can forgive and are committed to making things work as a couple. I am sure that many hearty relationships have been torn apart by depression. I just hope that this can stand as a testament that there can be life after suicide attempts.

You don't ever really get over it...unless you have intense therapy from the very beginning but you won't know that until it is too late. I went through the same scenario, the same ordeal with my husband of five years, it happened 5 months after we just got married. He overdosed on sleeping pills because the pressure was too great to have a wife and to meet the demands that come with being a husband. He was very depressed and I was very stressed with our financial situation. I was strong for him through the entire ordeal, visited him at the mental hospital, he didn't belong there and took him back home. The councilor recommended therapy but he never took it. I was 24 and he was 22.



From that day forward I changed, I lost my comfort and my confidence in my husband, but I never had the words to describe how I felt about it all. I was worried all the time and also thought the same way as you did, blamed myself, worked harder and took on his burden and carried us through for 4 years working on my own and supported us while he had some part time work and is still in the process of trying to finish school...5 years later with 1.5 yrs to go for his first degree. In that time I have grown resentful and angry towards him and acted out in ways that I could not understand until now. But it is too late now. Our relationship deteriorated to point where it is unhealthy, we eventually became destructive together and I was never that way in the beginning. I changed and I turned to someone else who could support me emotionally. Though we never had a romantic relationship he was a shoulder to lean on when I could not trust to lean on my husband. I was too much for him, that is all I thought in my mind. Well now I am jobless, barely surviving on unemployment, and finishing my degree. He is a smart man, has so much going for him and he doesn't even see it! He needs help badly but won't get it. I will be leaving my husband because this is no life for me or us. In the process of the 5 years I have become depressed and lost sight of who I was. I can't do this anymore, especially when he still threatens me that he will hurt himself in various ways because he can't take my manifestations of distress but keeps me prisoner since he needs me to support him emotionally, and I have nothing left of me to do that. I am used up emotionally. Please please get help for yourself to understand and deal with those feelings that you have. I love my husband still but I can't be married to him. Or I will destroy myself by staying. It is that simple but so painful to come that realization.

If you blame him and resent him on here - I cant imagine how much blame and resentment you expressed toward HIM (conciously and subconciously) in the actual relationship. And in how you interact.

Yours is NOT the same scenario Culpabella, as your "ex" did not try to commit suicide, he wanted to temporarily check out from the extreme stress of his life and he did so stupidly by taking too many sleeping pills. Very common. ( You yourself said he did not belong in the mental instituton and was released)

As your username implies, maybe you need to get honest with yourself - and look at how YOU may have contributed to the "deteriation" of your relationship. Take some accountabilty for YOURSELF. Break the habit of BLAME and stop putting the responsibility for your happiness on others.

"From that day forward "I" lost comfort and "MY" confidence in my husband.... "

A relationship is a synergy and your acting like a crab in a barrel. If you dont stop blaming, start being more positive, start taking responsibility for your happiness then you leaving him will be the luckiest thing that happens to your husband.

Some partner you are....
Quite disgusting.

Hello, i truly understand what you are going through and symathise with you. It is a terrible sad situation for any family that has to endure it and a long emotionally painfull road to recovery, who knows when or if it ends. Here is my story:



My name is Debbie and im 22. My brother was diagnoised with scitsophrenia 13 years ago (hes 33 now). We all went through hell at the time but got through it eventually. He was taking 1 small tablet every morning to control it and it was working perfect untill a few days ago. He was so happy, himself and his partner have a new house, he has a brilliant state job, he is with his partner 15 years and they have a 2 year old daughter.



Last Friday evening our world almost came to an end. Seans partner went out to the supermarket and she asked him to mind the child saying she would be back in half and hour and he refused which is very unlike him, ( she thought he had a bad day in work) so she brought the child with her. She arrived home 40 minutes later and could not get into the house with her key, he locked the doors from the inside, his phone was turned off and he would not answer the door, his car was still parked outside.



His partner called her brother to come down because she was extremely worried. He broke in the window, my brother was locked into the bathroom with stab wounds bleeding very heavily. He stabbed himself 15 times in the chest including the heart and lungs, the knife was still very deep in his heart when we got him to the hospital. The doctors didnt think he was going to live, he was minutes away from death. Hes still in intensive care at the moment and he is having another heart operation tomorrow but we are very optimistic.



He never ever had sucicide thoughts or this great drepression that he was obviously feeling.



Just wanted to let you know my experience.



Thank you

I know how you feel and thanks for sharing. My ex-husband and I have decided to reconcile. He attempted suicide in a druken stupor. Slit his wrist with a broken whiskey bottle. Very dramatic right? It's all he focuses on. I have some couples counselinf sceduled for us. You should do the same. Alot of these places work on a sliding scale. Money was one of the main reasons for him to. This f-n ecponomy sucks! hang in there girl.

Hi. Thank you so much for sharing your story. This is exactly how I feel. My partner of 15 years took an overdose two days ago. I had no indiction that she was depressed but how can I know whether it was my fault. She says that she loves me but she said that she needs a break and she needs someone to take care of her for a while and I have to go to work. So, she has gone to stay with her mother "for a while". I don't know if we are good for one another anymore. I love her but are we destructive together? Will she try to do it again? Can I ever forgive myself. I don't know what to do.

Thanks so much for sharing.



I don't really know what to say to that... I can only imagine how it must be for you. I know part of me would die. The fact that you can still stand and write about all of this amazes me.