My Humourous Suicide Attempt And A Nice Tip To A Good Suicide

I wanted to end my life so peacefully as everyone would wish!!
I did so much of analysis on the internet for the best way of killing yourself and found it right to do it also!!
The execution was a f****** failure :(
I had already attempted suicide 2 times...rather than saying attempted suicide i failed to attempt it at the first point
1.I tried to burn carbon monoxide in my room .But smoke started coming out so much that will surely alert neighbour ppl around me and save me instantly
2.I tried to drown myself in the sea.The place had very few ppl around.....Bt,wat if ppl see me by chance and rescue me.....??
3.The third was my sleeping pill attempt.
I went in search of sleeping pill in all the medical shops with a forged prescription(sleeping pills are never given in india without proper prescription).But,the moment they saw the names of the sleeping tablets they wanted to call up the doc whose name is printed on the prescription and enquire about it.I jus escaped from the shop after that.
Atlast I found that I can find non prescription sleeping pills available online.I ordered donormyl which was around $20!!
I am at india.......so i was eagerly waiting for it to reach me in some days!!
I got it shipped in 1 weeks time and viola!!
Its time to suicide.....
I wanted to mix the tablets with the juice and drink it in one go......as I wasnt sure that will i be having sense till I swallow all the tablets
so i mixed 50 tablets in a juice and later found out that when i sip little I am getting vomiting sensation!
My parents will sleep in the room next door and my mom will get up for even a small noise i make for cough,vomit etc(she was too much caring on me
and she always had an intuition telling her what I was upto)
So after sipping small gulp i was feeling asleep......I found out that it s impossible to drink the whole glass of tablet juice!
so i just poured everything in my toilet and postponed my suicide for the next day!
I got a loss of 50 tablet :(
shame on me.....I should have planned it right!Now 46 tablets are left with me
Now the second day.....I did R&D on suicide and decided that 15 tablets would be great to give me death!!I dont know how i ended up in this figure...
I drank 2 large glasses of vodka from 12.30 am to 1 am!!
So the next night I count 15 tablet split up into 3*5 and kept in on my bed...counting it with my cell phone light in my room(My mom should assume that I am sleeping)!I counted it several times and went through my decision again on suicide whether its needed on not...
My guts are remarkable.....I have done so many things in my life that a normal person would not dare to do...so I knew that this attempt was a cake walk!
I was feeling tingy till my first tablet i swallowed.....after i swallowed the first set of 3 tablets I quickly gulped the other set in just 10 seconds...and I felt like awesome.
I said myself "You did it .....u assole"
I was lying on my bed wondering can i text anyone "goodbye"....but decided not to cos....what if they tell my parents and save me!
So i was wondering when I would feel sleepy...
after 15 min I was wide awake and I found that my penis and my balls are numb!I was wondering that the tablets are working....My body felt so cold!But,I din want to take risk....
I got up after 15 mins and gulped another 10 tablets and again was lying on bed....the time was 2 a.m by this time!!:(
Ok!!fine.....good bye cruel world......
I was checking my pulse....and fell half asleep....I regained consciousness and checked my cell phone for the time....it was 2.30 am
fine!!again i went to half state  sleep.....got up!check time!it was 3a.m!!
What the **** is this??its 1 and a half hours....and i have taken 25 pills and i am wide awake??
fine......
i was completely awake from 3 to 3.30 am wondering when will i die........
I sat with my cell phone looking at it ticking to 4a.m!
I said to myself..**** this thing off....and go to sleep....and u will die!!
fine....i went to bed!i fell half asleep....i woke up at 5.30a.m..!fine.its been .I am not gonna die....
now go to sleep beta!!
I went into a good sleep without any tension!as i knew the result of my exam....
I got up at 7 o clock again....and was wondering wat happened.wat went wrong...
later I realised that such suicide failure attempts would do some severe damage to my internal organs!
I was wondering which part of my part would have got damaged.....
I realised it that it was my genitals...as I was feeling numb during my attempt
I never wanted to live in this world with all my problems and impotency added to it!
If i decide to live I need to be potent right???
SO..i wanted to test my penis....
I tot of some **** stories......no erection!!
I started shagging it....no erection!!
I started fantacising some sex..no erection!!
I started crying in my room for my impotency.....
later.....I brought my lappy to my room and started watching a ****...
after 15 min the mirracle happened.....my penis started to respond!!
after another 15 min it was full hard..thank god!i am back.....
but having a doubt whether I would get quality *****!after 10 mim I ***********...
and I could do it....yes!!I have survived a suiced with no loss at all!
My attempt might appear funnjy to you.but i jus wanna advice you one thing...its very easy to attempt suicide!
but its very difficult to live after an suicide attempt failure!so plan urself!I
this is my plan...
take ur credit card...order donormyl from US!
drink some vodka!!
take all the 96 pills 3 *32 takes and go to sleep....!!
after some hours ur dead as clean!
I will try this  thing after some days....till then all the best to you all!!
ha ha ha......

gujilika90 gujilika90
26-30, M
3 Responses Jul 13, 2010

Was the attempt successful??? U haven't posted the results... :(

Is it possible that Gregori Rasputin was one of your ancestors?

All jokes aside, Talk to someone.

It's not humorous at all... Please try to talk to someone, give it another shot if you've already have, it might be worth it.