I see shadows in the moonlight I no longer fear
I smell your smell in the wind it disgust me
I can wash a million times but I can not remove your filth from my skin I scrub it raw sometimes a layer you could not penetrate
I used to cry at night but I now can't remember why
I used to wish to see you and hope for your life to end
I used to hate you Now I know it was not me who was weak it was you who was and always will be
You hate your root wanted others to pay
You hurt I wanted it to stop at me but I know you were never caught still free
you hide behind a mask try to deny the man you used to be
You can hide from many but you could never hide from me
I knew what you were that is why I tried to get away
Intoxicated I fought but did not win
natalie343 natalie343
31-35, F
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

I am there I used to let it dictate where, whom and how I functioned throughout a day. The day I woke up and I past the area and did not think about where I was and forgot for one second did not gasp for air being anxious. That was the day I knew I was going to be okay. I became a better person knowing God gave me a second chance. I learned to appreciate the Sun for shining, birds for singing their songs, the squirrel for his constant determination to get acorns. I learned to value people most of all. I realized I had lost momentary control of my body. I gained control over other aspects. I was alive to tell my story and to help as many people as I could. I did and so many took time to be there for me. Most in my predicament become the monster but I decided to be a better me. I still have bad days but I have more good.