Gone But Never Forgotten My Angel

hey everyone, i'd like to say that I think each and everyone of you are strong and couragious individuals, my story isn't about holding pain but seeing it everyday i look in my daughters eyes.
ok ok.... well it all started 4 years ago im pretty sure, anyways I was head over heels for this guy, well I want to be everything to him, if he would have givin me a chance, but it wasnt like that for him, just sex....at 16 i thought I was in love so the rejection of anything more was devastating, heart breaking, I knew in my heart I was gonna have him no matter what.... I did things that i proberly wouldnt have done if i wasnt so broken hearted, i hurt people around him (girls) any that were interested in him, anyways a month later I got into a car accident, had my clothes cut off me and blood test and eveything.. my mother was beside me while i was on the table and the doctor came around the corner and said to me "congratulations your pregnate" my mother burst into tears lookin at her what she called me "fragile angel" lol the doctor then said "Is this a happy day?" I knew in my heart what was the go and i said "yes it is"....... I went to this guys house looking for him a few months later when i was lookin the baby bump part only to find he had fukked off to another state, well what could i do, i started my life without him, i wasnt going to stop everything and fall into a heap, i need to go on and build a life for my daughter mind you buy this stage (i was homeless), i went to a friends house one night because i was sleeping a a park most nights and some kids came to where i was sleeping and wanted to party there, i didnt care until they found me near the bushes trying to sleep, a guy came over, he saw me struggling to keep warm under a jacket he yelled to his mates "theres a pregga's chick her i think she's dying".... people came from everywhere, they brought a shopping trolley and put me in it and took me to there house and i lived with them for a while.
the guy who found me he was nice and we started a relationship, anyways skip abit, I was due for my baby soon, scared and along lil girl who wanted her mother, I had my daughter and things were great I had forgot my once long obsession with a man who didnt love me as much i loved him and had moved on, 26th May 2008 my daughter was 3 months and 26 days old, I recieved a phone call, I found out her father had passed away..... I have grieved  and accepted my loses, but how do I tell my daughter, to watch her cry and grieve for a man who would proberly still be here if he had givin me a chance.... but what can I say..... I wasnt good enough, not like the rush of heroin.... 
troubledcandy troubledcandy
18-21, F
Jul 13, 2010