I Really Do Hate It...

that just shows how much confidence my parents have in me....it really hurts....that they think i can just pop alittle pill in my mouth and everything will be ok...but it wont...it just eclipses my broken heart by a fake smile....and it hurts even more to think without a pill i cant be happy on my own...i hate everything about it...i cant be happy on my own i need a pill to do it for me...

LelouchZero LelouchZero
18-21, T
2 Responses Mar 1, 2010

oh so sorry you are dealing with this. My parents are kinda the same. <br />
My personal experience with the stuff...do exactly what your heart tells you even if you know its not always right cause its a lot more right than what other people say you should do. <br />
Again this is just my experience but I feel in most mental/emotional issue cases the person with the issues knows it and how he can handle it batter than the family. If it seams they dont have issues it does not mean they can or could handle yours, or that they have any good judgment about it, on the contrary, so remember they can be pretty foolish and selfish. Also it puts pressure on family members, being such a gray area where there is not much certainty and a lot at stake(emotionally and for most socially too) people will act selfish and foolish. <br />
Regarding my family there is just a gaping void opening whenever the subject is bought up, they r always shure of something, the more stupid the more sure they are, and life proved this to me over and over, I think thy are abusive too. Mine also always had a very warped attitude twords me and now looking back i can say I may have had my issues but they shure had theirs too, it runs in the family in one form or another. Am wondering what I would have been like if I grew up in a normal one. But they do their jobs and have each other so they r clean in societyes eyes. <br />
Dont take your parents lack of belief in you as something you are worthy of just because they mean a lot to you, sadly they are just flawed humans too. I had to learn it the hard way.<br />
<br />
This being sayd I realize sometimes im so ill I need pills, ...so I found some I can take sporadically when I feel at bottoms end. Had to try a few and different docs till I found some i feel k with(and have had huge energy draneing fights with my parents, everytime, as they always seam to be against my wellbeing somehow, and against me takeing the matter as serious and as complex as it is).Well the fights where worth it and they deserve to rot in theyr hostile, narrow minded hell.<br />
<br />
Sure a different life would be the best pill, but since that wont happen, my illnes is here and just like any illness sometimes its only meds thet make the diffrence.<br />
Hope you will do batter though. Just listen to your heart as often as you can and ask why its feeling like it does. Than confront people about it even if not upfronth.

thank you.