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I Am The Wolf In Me

I have been a Therian all my life. I just never realised it till some research was done and i discovered why i acted the way i did and why did the things i did. I am proud to be who i am. Now that i have discovered my true self I am Proud and Strong and feel so myself. But i do have an empty spot in my pride and heart where a pack should be - I am an Alpha-. So i've decided to start one to fill the emptiness. There are others out there who are lost and feel like they're alone and are picked on or battling with themselves about this sudden side of them that is Awakening. I know how that feels i was battling with myself for nearly twelve years and then once i figured out what was going on i kept reffering to " my wolf side" as a seperate entity, But the truth of the matter is your wolf, or bobcat or cricket or gazelle, IS. YOU. There is no " my cat side is very active today" No that is you, you are being active today. There is no side. It is just you. But you were given the gift of your inner animal. Be proud of this, You have something most people -though they can't quite understand- yearn for in more ways than most people realise. You are your woulf, cat, bear, grasshopper, dragon. And they are you. You should hold the pride of an army in you heart, soul and spirit. I know i do. Nobody is alone in this journey there is always guidance, we are all family wether sideby side or word by word.

Post Note: If you're a therian and need guindance, advice, someone to rant to, etc. I'm here for you.
behindmyeyez behindmyeyez 18-21, T 5 Responses Feb 12, 2013

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You have a calm, gentle demeanor and spirit. You are a wolf and have great pride because of it. I sense very positive energy. Message me.

im glad iv read your story man because i have know i was a wolf for the past year when i stopped and thought about it iv been looking for companionship in so called friends but in the end i just cant relate iv been a lone wolf for so long i would like to hear more from you guys

Hit me up anytime. I'd love to talk to someone like me.

great man sounds great

What kind of wolf are you? What do you look like?

they type of wolf that i have always been was a dark wolf, just the thing that makes me unique. you know pitch black with yellow eyes. how about you?

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Iv known I am a werewolf for three years but I still consider me a novice

That's ok. We all learn our place and who we are eventually. If you need help or guidance i can help you.

Thx

Course

Oww *howling in pain*

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I'm proud to be me. Just me.

As you should be. There shoud be no shame in being who you are. Just because " society" doesn't accept us who cares? We have each other. Know what i say? **** society. They're not god and they don't control us.

You got that right. But its hard to get away from society when humans are everywhere.

I know but we must stand strong. We are the wolf in us! We are feral, dangerous hunters, but we are also gentle and loving and understanding. Humans are so stuck to their ways. They believe in their " god" while most of us believe in Fenris, Nyx, and the earth. ur minds and souls are part of it.

I believe in wolf gods. And ancestors that have passed on and are watching us. I believe the Earth cares for all its creatures. And humans are a burden to the Earth. I'm really connected with the beautiful, serene, loving Earth.

As do i. But due to the fact that i am a Hybrid and found out about my Sanguinarian side first i adopted the " wiccan" so called turn. I Believe in the Goddess Nyx who is connected with the earth, the night, the moon and the night skies. She holds all of her children very dear and cares for them whole heartedly. But i am also very in-tuned with mother nature as well. The earth is a gift to our paws and souls. We were here first.

Interesting. I believe that we sometimes howl to the Moon is because the first wolf was the Moons mate and when they got separated he was heart broken and would always cry to the Moon. Nyx sounds real enough.

I have heard that story. It's very well known. I do believe in that. Nyx to the ones who believe in her, she is everything. the stars, the moon, the skies, the night, the earth. I've had some much needed guidance from her.

I might come to believe her. But I believe the stars are our ancestors watching over us from above. But everything else would probably fit to be Nyx.

Even before i found out about myself I believed the stars were very old souls that guided us when we needed them.

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A lot of people actually dont want the gift theyve been blessed with so they just try to act normal and try to fit in a human society when they werent born to do that. as for me im glad to be who i am and would have never changed anything about my life. maybe only the fact that ive got no one like me around. ive found and made same friends who also arent "normal" . still they do not fully understand me cuz fact is. they arent wolves like me. i dont know why but ive made good friendships with them. they though are hybrids. while i am a full wolf. Ive set the goal to find others like me. the scent is faint but i know there are more like me around. And i will find them.

I am a hybrid as well. I'm Therian and Sanguinarian. Talk abut a mix of both enemies but i am very at peace with myself. As for the " gift" you're right most people feel it's not " normal" so they toss it back and just be a human. And btw you and your friends are normal it's the other people that are crazy. ;) little something to remember

yeah i guess its true.

If you really think about it it is. They're crazy for a whole lot of things And if you look at some of the things they do compared to us we're the normal ones

I agree with you there.

So some of your hobbies?

Include wandering around( obviously) music, sometimes videogames , and searching for others like me

You're rather relaxed.

Yeah ive found ways to deal with my emotions so i dont end up being as agressive as i was. stll there are moments were i just go completely wild and lose control. What are your hobbies?

I have quite a few. writing, reading, drawing, spending time with my baby girl, horse back riding, moon lit horse back rides, night time walks, bike riding - training in moderate BMX-, and of course listening to music. Music is my life

I can't seem to pull myself to enjoy riding animal or even take a ride in the car. Not even bycicling. I would rather walk or run. I have a bunch of stamina. And my experiences with love weren't as good as yours is. But i also enjoy a night walk. Especially through the woods near my house. The silence is just breathtaking

I do love walks :) my inner form has a heap of stamina but i must admit defeat i am ratehr out of shape lol. i jog from time to time but that's about it. Though my girlfriend dis-agrees because i only weigh 125. As for love... my experiences have ranged anywhere from screwing with guys minds andhaving a whole lot of fun doing it to flat out heart break between my girl and i, to feeling like i was on top of the world with her, to the lowest of the low moods pretty much just wanting to die, and then to where i am now which is i couldn't be happier. I grew up on horses. We used to rescue them and i've always had a bond with them. Car rides it really differs because i get car sick really easy soooo it can either be really fun and relaxing or down right awful. Dependson who's driving and what they're doing.

I got deceived by my ex. I even found a song that describes how i feel about it. I've posted it up. As for car rides it feels pretty weird. I can't describe it but it feels like someone grabbed me and kept on shaking me. Or throwed me somewhere. Still due to my past i cant seem to fit anywhere. Not even with my best friends. Which is a real weird feeling. Also because i often have to "fake" emotions and laughs. I'm a very serious person and i rarely laugh for real or i dont even laugh at all. I cant seem to find amusement in trivial things. But i still dont want to worry people. And i actually dont enjoy faking. But sometimes my problems are just to big. I guess my past just made me cold as ice. Im not affected by much things. Still though i care much more than i seem to do. I tend to neglect my needs and desires for others. I dont usually think about what i need. Just what others need.

You sound like a very loving person towards friends and i suppose certain family members? You need to find a reason to laugh. A real. laugh. it would feel so good and people who laugh live longer. I think it would be very good for you once you find that reason or person that makes you laugh. Kind of like findign a missing piece

I act loving to all persons i care about. I wouldnt even think twice about giving my life for them. I know that i got to find someone that makes me smile. I look everyday.Still it seems like it's always the same road. No matter how far i go there's no one there. But no matter how long it takes ill always keep on looking.

Never give up. There is someone for everyone. Gotta go to work be back later.

bye see you later.

So when are you supposed to meet this other Therian?

I dont know. I've gotta get my independence first. It's still a long way from here. And it's something i gotta do alone. So maybe in 2 years from now. Thats when ill turn 18. There's somethings i gotta figure out first. But we keep in touch.

At least you're talking to eachother. That's good.

Lately ive been thinking. What are the usual stereotypes humans call us. I've been called emo a lot. I dont know why. I dont relate to a emo a lot. Sure , i have my bouts of depression and my hair is dark. But i dont deal with depression same way most emos do. Only one that seems to fit is lone wolf.

People hate what they don't understand. So we're referred to as ****, emos, gths, posers, queers, wanna bes, etc. because it makes them feel better about theirselves.

yeah i know that. I've been called a lot of things. Lately im being called emo. Anyway i just ignore them or if they start to get on my nerves i give them the quote i usually give to people who judge me.

which is

you know my name, not my story. You've heard what i've done, not what i've been through.

That's awesome. And very true.

Thanks.

How have you been?

I've been doing ok, and you?

Not so good. I'm sorry i answered back so late. Computer complications. Are you well?

yeah, just been busy with school..and what's wrong?

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