Much Confusion

I've been entering the TIH lifestyle with my husband these past few weeks. This is all very new and neither of us have lived remotely like this in the past. I was extremely skeptical as to whether or not my husband would even be able to take a HOH role...lo and behold, he seems to have. Our marriage was wavering and we had developed a huge disconnect. I felt like I was existing and really not experiencing life as it could be. My husband was feeling the same way. Thumbing through the web seeking out possible marriage counselors, etc..I happened to come across the TIH website. I was a little surprised about the fact that many people practiced this lifestyle, more importantly I was fascinated by what I had read. After a few articles I found myself thinking , "hmmm". More surprised to find my husband felt we out to give it a try. So here we are, floundering a bit but trying to work it out. Somebody out there want to inspire me, give me pointers, or just tell me of their experiences?? I would love to hear from someone! Smariem123
smariem smariem
56-60, F
2 Responses May 25, 2012

One more thing: If you want a 'pointer' it would be my advice: Learn to 'zip' your mouth!<br />
Tell yourself: zip, zip, zip! And if you can't zip it any longer, make sure your timing and your tone are right! This was the number one recipe, which improved so much for us!

Our marriage was exactly at the same point. Only we didn't look for a solution together, I stumbled across it on my own and started to change my ways. In the past months 'his' behavior change just came along naturally and he thrives in the role of being HoH. If you have a chance to get your hands on "The surrendered Wife" (Laura Doyle), it's a real eyeopener and such a great guide along the way! I understand that TiH is a step further, as physical discipline is more or less recommended in this lifestyle. We are still working on establishing the right level of obedience, which works for us. But the benefits of surrendering to my husband are phenomenal. The intimacy we have achieved is mind blowing, and I'm not only talking about sex life, but all other levels, too! I would never want to go back to my old (nagging, controlling) ways! Life is glorious once you have learnt to surrender!

Thank you so much for your feed back- very inspiring. I've written down the name of the book you recommended and will read it. I'll let you know what I think when I'm done.

Yes. Looking forward to hear from you!