Where To? Not Sure & Don't Even Care At The Moment

I haven't been back. Perhaps it's ripening of "kamma" that I should be back. In fact I was lazying around today -- just not having any goals & browsing through my email & saw the posting from experience project

Maybe I need to share this - gist I'm not sure whether it'll help myself to share, much less help others. But it feels great that there are others who're also walking the same path, i.e. "taking a break", though may be different shades of it.

Recalled last few weeks I was very upbeat, because I found a means to get passive income. hmmm...the problem is how to share with others? One of my friends is not interested. Hehehe, putting it down like this really makes a lot of sense to me. It's too early to give up....I've only talked to 1 person!

The thing is I don't know how to talk to my friends esp. when it comes to investment. Well, the program is certainly good - I mean we get educated on how to trade (potentially becomes alternate income & if I'm good, can be means to financial freedom/can resign). Besides that I'm also helping others to get commission. This is great program & it's legal....ahhh...i'm just being too impatient.

Hmmm...yes, I admit, my goal is to resign this month...because: well I feel I'm underpaid. Honestly - 2 aspects - 1st - my qualifications are much higher comparatively yet I earn less 2nd - i really put lots of effort in my work, i think comparatively i deserve at least something. Unfortunately i don't get back anything. There's no pay raise, no promotion...NOTHING. That's why i'm frustrated & i want to resign.

"Theoratically" I can resign because I can pay off my debt. I don't hv any house or anything,...only have to clear my credit card installments - few thousands which I can afford.

My "dilemma" is I want to leave my job with my head held high--> "ego"; Well I'm no saint. I went through 2 interviews for past few months. Sigh, why wasn't I successful? Besides the ego stuff, it's also about survival. I don't want my family to worry for me & of course I don't want to burden my family.

I feel lousy. Why can't I get it right? I've learnt investment - still haven't been disciplined enough. I joined in ebusiness stuff - don't make a dime yet! I spent so much on education - can't even land on decent job!

What's blocking me?.....EXECUTING THE PLAN IN DISCIPLINED MANNER! I hate to say this...but I've to go back to drawing board & come up with sensible plan. I know my weaknesses in following rigidly but hey, I'm disciplined enough to go to work on time everyday....so what's up?  I think somewhere along the line, I screw up my belief & thought that I would never be discipline & finish what I've started.

Hey, me, the above claim is not valid...Look if I'm not disciplined & finish how I started, how come I was able to complete my degree & so many other things in life so far including driving etc?

Could this be the belief that's blocking my success?

There are a few:

  1. belief that i can never follow what i plan out -- non sense, look at how many projects i've completed at work, at my life - vacation, training education etc

  2. belief that i'm destined not to make it in ebusiness coz it's not in line with my "numbers" - crap!

  3. why i always don't seem to be able to get awesome job like others? - nonsense, I have all resources, including luck to make this come true too.

You know, I've planned so many things but still unable to achieve & I can't stick to what I plan out! so far failed to consistently do what i planned out....i mean personal plan. If i'm too rigid - somethings just crop up, like if i set aside 8-10 for trading, then have meetings etc which take me away / i'm too tired.


Gosh, another superstitious belief = that I can never follow my plan, no wonder i'm not getting it right! Let me tap on this.

I follow plan & i'll be successful!

Ok - I'll come up with simple "rituals"/to-dos.

It's just a matter of making it a habit...then it'll be ok.

Feel a little better.

Well, not sure if anyone else will be reading this....in case you are reading this & having the same experience, wish you well too.

 Crossing my fingers that I'll triumph over those blockages & have positive things to say the next time round.


uncertainnow uncertainnow
Mar 13, 2010