Miserable

im 18 yrs old , and i live in qatar .... and i really really hate my self.

first of all , everything im doing is so wrong i think wrong and i don't get things fast its like that im stupid no in fact i think that im really stupid i treat everyone nice and everyone loves me im always smiling however no one knows what is behind this smile ,,, i always live in a dreams world i want to study engineer and i will but im afraid that ill never graduate bcuz i already hate math but i just want to be an engineer ,,, i mean can anyone believe this i don't even know why i want to study engineering.

secondly , i talked to someone through chat then i gave him my number i lied to him and i showed  him a picture isn't mine because i wanted him to love me , no one is perfect tho ,, yes i lied but so do he , he thinks that he is perfect but this is not true all his life is wrong and he done things no one can accept especially god! 

Thirdly , im not used to go out with boys and see them even my friends in school which all of them are girls , Also its difficult  to hangout with my friends because my parents don't let me 

Finally , im obsessed about beauty i love beauty and fashion i like to be stylish but i cant  just wear what i wish because of my religion anyway this is not my problem however i really wish if i can do whatever i want , i dont feel that im free. 

im just confused  i don't know what i want to be i don't know what i want from this life every day i spend my time with same ppl n i follow the same routine.

unknown1592012 unknown1592012
18-21, F
1 Response May 16, 2012

whatever i said it will never be enough to discribe how i feel now after reading your comment and i will never be able to say how thankful i am ... really thank you so much! , i promise you that i will do just like you said and ill be more confedince of my self , thank you , i wish if there is more like you which will make me feel happy and better. :)