I Think It Keeps Me Sane...

For as long as I remember I was alone in my childhood. I played alone, therefore many of the games I played were made up and included imaginary people.

I would often sit in front of my window and pretend as if I was a banker. I would talk to the "people" who would come to my window to deposit or withdraw money.

Another "game" I would play would be to talk to my clothes in my closet while choosing which out fit I would wear. I would pick up each garment and say things like, "you are nice, but not today", "humm...you stay in here today, maybe ill being you out later", etc.

When washing dished I would talk to all the dishes. I also talked to my stuffed animals. With all of these factors it is easyto see why I talk to myself. Overall thats who I was always talking to, not the inanimate objects.

Sure some may chalk it up to just being a loney child, but those things will follow you. It followed me into middle school, high school, and adulthood. Of course as I got older the talking got more personal. I spoke more about things that were going on at the time.

I started to think that I should stop talking to myself becuase it was crazy. But I see the less I talk to myself/keep myself entertained, the more anxious I have become. Its like when I dont talk to myself, my THOUGHTS get the best of me.

Today was my 1st day in a long time openly talked to myself. At work I sang songs, talked to inanimate objects, danced, and laughed at anything funny that came to my mind. Of course I got some looks, but it was mostly people wondering why I was in such a good mood. I felt good today, so I think Im going to keep the chatting with myself going. Its not such a bad thing, at least not for me.

I do wish that I could share the fact that I talk to myself with my bestfriend. But I dont think he would understand.