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My Loud Voice Makes Me Seem Obnoxious

My voice has always "carried" and been perceived as loud. I have been aware of this since I was a child.  I am now in my mid 40s and my loud voice has nearly gotten me fired at work, where I have been seen as "conversation dominating" and obnoxious by others. Help! How can I retrain myself to not talk so loud?
loudvoice11 loudvoice11 41-45 8 Responses May 28, 2011

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I used to get punched in school by kids who were accusing me of screaming. I wasn't screaming, I'm naturally loud. I went to school for classical singing, so my voice is even louder. I'm also passionate and get accused of being angry and belligerent when I'm just excited. It's a mixed blessing. I am adhering more and more to the saying, "Those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind."

i do to

Same for me as with other problems of being different.

Others tend to look at a difference as being in the wrong or as a fault when it is strength.

I have started going to singing lessons and speakers’ clubs where my voice has done me well – but unfortunately when socialising it is not as popular.

Newton’s Third Law can be interpreted to read: To every act of fault-finding, there is an equal but opposite fault in the accuser. This means if someone tried to see you at fault, it is probably because they are jealous and haven’t got much in the way of strengths so trying to make your strength look a fault in order to bring you down to below their level.

Well I am 14 and I'm loud but it runs in the family. But all school I can't make friends I get bullied everyday and my dad abandoned me and won't talk to me anymore because I'm loud and obnoxious!!! And people are telling my to stop talking or to mellow out please if anyone has any help I don't want my high school to be like middle school

It's nice to hear that I am not alone. My issue is when I'm on the phone. It's hard cos 50% of my job is phoning people or answering the phone. I wouldn't say I'm really loud, it's just that I'm on the phone A LOT and work with people who write reports and need to read a lot. It's an open plan office and I am no way the loudest in there, but it's always me who gets dragged into the manager's office and asked to keep my voice low. I feel bullied over this. It's not like I do it on purpose and on occasion the line is bad or the other person hard of hearing! God I hate whiney people and now I sound like I'm whining, but I'm getting to the point where I'm going to explode. It's an open plan office-the layout of the office is the problem not me. I'm a happy and vibrant person, so am perceived as being loud I guess. However, if anyone has any tips on trying to lower the level of your voice, please message me back. I'm hoping all my loud sisters and brothers out there find a solution to there problems too.

Wow! your stories sounds almost identical to my situations except I am NOT a natual smiler so I'm also preceived as being "mean". I never realize that I am talking loud at any point in a conversation unless someone says, "why are you talking so loud?", or "Why are you yelling?". Evening the people that have known me for years seem not to accept that ONE quality as just being me. They don't seem to understand that I'm not mad or trying to be disrepectful, I'm just loud. I honestly believe that maybe because I hate being misunderstood, that somewhere in my subconscious I believe that if I speak louder my point will be clearer. I too hate speaking loud and feel a strong sense of frustration or hopelessness.

I have this problem too and saw a couple of sights that recommend speech therapy, this doesn't seem reasonable to me, I haven't a speech problem - in fact I am quite articulate - I am just loud I guess. I don't recognize or even hear myself the same way as others, thus even when whispering I am apparently still loud. I can think I am barely being heard yet others will "shuush" me. I don't know about anyone else but this is very bothersome to me. I am not trying to be loud and I work in a quite legal office I am repeatedly told how loud my voice is and it feels like a big ole wart on the end of my nose. I have spoken to the doctor and had my hearing checked - nothing wrong with me....I am constantly thinking about it and trying to be quite but fail repeatedly. I went through a period of "screw everyone else" like the coffee shop lady but this solves nothing just makes me defensive. I am so frustrated and so tired of hearing how loud I am.

I have the same problem, and I have had my hearing checked to no avail. I want to be conscious of it but honestly i just forget....I had an argument with a lady at the coffee shop today and afterwards I told her she was an ol' bat (well she really was). I don't know why people are more sinical about loud talkers than they are about, loud music or other annoyances. I just think people are just not flexible.

I've been doing some research on it because my "in laws" think I am loud. -begin rant- Well, I know I can be loud when I am excited or passionate. However, in any normal setting where the noise level is not busy or loud I feel like I am speaking normally. Still they seem to be somewhat bothered by it. However, I have often noticed, they had no problem getting loud on their own many times when they're joking around or telling childhood stories. Wow.
It hurts my feelings a lot when they say things to me and I can easily recall them being very loud during the meet up. /end rant

Okay got that off my chest for now... the research shows that it can be physical and/or psychological. Some of us are born with bigger larynx's and vocal cords and it can be inherited. I know it is in my family. All of us are loud starting from my Grandfather on my Mom's side. She too was loud as well. Psychologically, we tent to get even more loud when we're excited about something... so it can get quite alarming to some.

Most people can handle it and filter us just fine. Its those who have more sensitivity that can pick us up like radar and cringe. Sometimes it depends on where we are... like church, work or in a crowd or in a situation that deems us to lower our voices but we just seem to not realize our voices carry. I think I speak normally all the time *lol*

However, I am sensitive to loud tv sets and music. I know when its loud (especially music I don't like) and hate that.