Over Communicator

When I'm passionate about something, I can formulate thoughts that translate into words very, very easily. I would have kicked *** on a debate team, but for some reason never joined in high school.

The problem is that when I do talk too much, it's usually with my wife when we are having a disagreement. She tells me that I wear her down and she ends up giving in. The way I see it (maybe some others have this same experience) is that she isn't truly hearing my point of view and so I keep trying different angles (I'm the KING of analogies) hoping that one of them will click and she'll understand.

This has caused problems for me and I wish I knew another way to handle it. I've asked my wife to stop me if she thinks I'm going on too much and that's helped a bit, but...

Yes, I was diagnosed with ADD as an adult. I'm not on meds for it as I tried that route and found that family doctors (the only ones that are covered under insurance) just don't have the expertise to properly monitor medications with an Adult ADD patient.

So I stopped the meds and read a lot about the topic and found that the more I understood, the more I was aware of the behaviors. I've been able to create workarounds for most of the behaviors.
SpringForward2k8 SpringForward2k8
41-45, M
2 Responses Jun 29, 2007

Someone I know refers to talking things out excessively as emotional puking! My husband and son-in-law both do this. Yes, men. They don't have ADD either. They just deal with things this way. We tolerate them because we care about them, but yes, it is tiring to hear the same thing said 100 different ways. I won't lie to you.<br />
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It isn't that we aren't listening. Well, actually we may tune out eventually. We can only take so much. But initially at least we are listening. WE truly are. We just don't always understand or agree. That is quite a different matter. When you don't understand, repetition won't work. When you don't agree repetition is a ticket for an argument. <br />
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I've been married almost 30 years. I have never found a way to help my husband with this. I don't want to hurt his feelings for a start, and if I do anything that looks like I'm trying to shut him up you can see the hurt immediately. So I avoid that. I have told my daughter straight, get used to it, they don't change! But it is exhausting for the listener!!!!

Sometimes knowing the problem is half the battle, and it seems you have your life under control. Thank you for sharing your story :-)