Too Much, Too Loud, Too Fast...

I've talked too much, too fast and too loudly all of my life. My mother and friends even have a "signal" to give me discreetly to tell tell me to "SHUT UP" in public. I guess I don't understand the art of conversation very well, and anytime I have a story that is remotely related to the conversation, I steal the show and go on and on and on, and end up telling my life story to random people. My husband calls me a search engine, because I get set off by "keywords". It's at its worst when I'm nervous or drinking. After any party or any time we go out with friends - especially people we meet - I get so embarrassed. The next day I am so upset when I realize how much I talked the night or day before - that no one else said a word the entire time. I am sometimes so humiliated that I refuse to see the person again.  I can't stand a pause in a conversation and always feel like it's my job to keep the ball rolling. But sometimes I'll realize that I have no idea what I'm even talking about! I try so hard and try to remember to keep quiet, but when I'm quiet, everyone assumes that there's something wrong with me. Then I get nervous thinking that I'm being too quiet and that I must seem weird. What's wrong with me??

anxiousexpat anxiousexpat
26-30, F
6 Responses Feb 14, 2010

Thank you so much for being brave enough to post this. I'm fighting the same problem. Social anxiety has me trying to be the most charming, whitty person in the room all the time. It feels as though I'm in a personality interview and I blurt rubbish that might get me sympathy or admiration in the hope that the people or person I'm with won't hate me and might even like me. The way I've improved things (especially the beating myself up after social situations) is by actively trying to be more positive towards myself and even more powerful; affirming the things I'm grateful for in my life rather than who might accept or like me. Feeling rejected in early childhood doesn't help but loving yourself regardless of your past does help.
Try downloading a Daily Affirmation App. Good luck :-)
To those who criticise on a chat thread and accuse us of being selfish and say "Just shut yer #%^* mouth!!!" remember that not everyone who has access to a library will be reading the literature...some will come to simply come to use up the oxygen by trying to making others feel uncomfortable.

How about asking a question every once in a while? :p

How did you get in my head??? I feel exactly the same way. All of it. Every word resonates. Now what???

Shut up!!!

Jimmy89898989...Life is about choices. I do my utmost to choose to live in as highly evolved a manner as possible. It's my personal view that unsupportive, rude and vulgar posts reflect powerfully on the level of intelligence and moral fibre of the person posting....

I am not sure but I have the same thing. And I have the same infliction I feel that I don't like silence within a group. But I always laugh when people say that I talk too much, I feel like saying well if you don't want to talk, or listen why did you come out anyway. If you just want silence why didn't you stay home. I always think at least it's more fun if everyone is chatting and having a good time rather than leaving the conversation lul. I wish I knew the answer to this, my husband tells me when I whisper that I am talking in a regular voice. AND I have been tested for hearing loss and I don't have any. Let me know if you find a way, I wish there was a device to send me a little shock when i get too loud, maybe like a dog collar to stop them from barking. lol

I always think of this God gave us two ears and one mouth for more listening and less talking!

You're a stubborn *******, and very ******* selfish. Just shut the **** up and stay that way. You suck!

Geez, I know how they feel now. :(<br />
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You think too much.<br />
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