Conversations During Sleep Are Worrying Me

I have been seeing the loveliest woman for the past two months. We get on so well and share so many interests and passions. We love each other very much and frequently tell each other so. So nice!!

However, all this rosiness has been tarnished by a conversation that took place two nights ago - I was asleep (and she was awake).

I asked her if she loved me, and she replied "yes".

She then asked me if I loved her and I said that I wasn't sure.

Of course, I wasn't aware of this at all until she told me next morning. I knew I talked in my sleep, but I was completely unaware that it was possible to have a conversation. She was most upset about the conversation. This issue has caused us both deep consternation. She has begun to doubt the truth of my love for her and I have begun to doubt whether I love her as much as my conscious self says. 

My main question is; do we tell the truth in our sleep? or do we become - like actors - and inhabit different guises or selves?

I'm worrying that, if my sleep-self says that I'm unsure that I love her - is this the 'real' truth and it says more about me than my waking self?

Please help!


semiotecs semiotecs
2 Responses Jun 6, 2008

My boyfriend was asleep, I was awake. I asked him "Do you love me?" he just shrugged. Then I asked "Are you an angel of God?" He promptly answered, "Yes. To all of the above." A few nights later, I asked him (in his sleep) "Who do you love?" He replied, "myself, God, and you." Then I said "Who are you?" and he gave me a totally different name! Really freaked me out a bit. When I told him about it in the morning, he freaked himself out! In the end, I have learned to not ask him anymore questions while he is sleeping! But also, whatever is said in his sleep I must take "with a grain of salt". I know that he loves me by everything he does in our relationship in his conscious state. So maintain your original feelings for your girlfriend, you love her, and show her that you do, and just let that one unconsious comment stay in the past.

Thank you KJames421 – who we are and what we think in sleep is more bizarre than our conscious minds can appreciate. I have to tell you that it's all worked out well – no more talking in sleep. We married two years ago and all is lovely.

We do not tell the truth in our sleep. Trust me! I have had many complete conversations in my sleep including stating emphatically that I am awake when I am asleep. Have also said other things that I know are not true.