Things Are Looking Better

For AlwaysRemembers, THANKYOU for the gift. In regards to your question, the oldest child has a choice between four different men, the second child is either four or five, and the last is the same.  Names have been called three times and they have been WRONG.  This does not effect the children though since they don't miss what they have never had.  After my daughter mistreated me again and I stopped speaking to her I knew that she would call me when she needed help just as she's always done whenever she's in trouble.  She can't count on anybody else but me regardless of how bad she treats me because I am her kids grandma.  That is her strength and my weakness.  I had no hope of seeing any of my grandchildren and that was that then at 630a this morning my daughter calls me and asks if my oldest child (the only one that's come back yet since the other two are still in school) can stay with me because she has to work.  I didn't hesitate to say yes. I haven't seen any of them in almost a year.  My keeping him has no bearing on my being involved with his mother.  She's REALLY messed up this time and hasn't even had the simple decency to apologize for what she did to me.  She never has but this last incident was particularily cruel as she knew that I was completely dependent on her to get groceries and that I hadn't eaten in two days.  Who would turn their back on their hungry mother like that.  Terrible, terrible person that girl is.  I don't know where she's staying, I don't know where she's working, and I don't know who will watch my grandkids while she works.  I can only hope with all that I am that it isn't some man who'll end up raping or abusing them some kind of way.  I am the only decent person that my daughter knows.  Her circle of friends are drug users, alcohol abusers, criminals, cigarette smokers spreading their cancer into the air, and sorts like that.  She didn't start hanging around the negative people until she started using drugs like most people breathe air.  I was absolutely blind to how my grands were suffering with her.  Had I known I would have stepped in and spared them if I could.  I will not get used as a babysitter again.  Everytime I take on that responsibility my daughter thinks she can do as she pleases and will leave them with me all day and all night and act like it's not a problem.  She knows about my illness and debilitated pyhsical condition.  Shame on her.  When I tell her to get a day job and work while the kids are in school she'll get a night time job and it's like I didn't say anything she'll do as she pleases.  If she had to pay someone to watch those children it wouldn't be like that.  She'd work ALL days just to save money.  Maybe I'm just too much of a convenience and that's part of the problem.  Some adult children would appreciate having that kind of support but my daughter takes it for granted and takes advantage of it.  The way she works it out she'd never see her kids until her days off.  The school would have them all day and I would have them all night and she'd come for them knowing they've been fed and thier homework has been done and she can go home and sleep or get high or whatever.    But, I don't want to continue being negative.  I have a nice home now that I've managed to fix up, my son is staying with me although temporarily, one of my grandchildren is here with me, I have got some of my health back and I feel better overall, and if I could let the past go I would be a much happier person looking forward to a future with or without my grandchildren.  The pain of it all is still quite raw and I'm working on getting it out of my system.  Thank goodness for experience project or I'd probably bust!!!  It's great stress release!!! 
Comprehensive2 Comprehensive2
1 Response May 27, 2007

Lord, I am sorry to hear of what I would consider a tragedy!! For MANY reasons I am dealing with the opposite issue and due to my families dispicble behavior I realized I had no choice but to cut off ALL ties with them, but that is a LONG story i will not burden you with. I would give ANYTHING for my children to have a Grandmother like you!! Your daughter simply does not know (maybe) how hurtful and destructive she is being, which in itslf is a TRAGEDY. It hurts so much when your very own family does not appreciate the goodness in you, and sadly the biggest victims are the children. For them not to know any different is a sin. I am so sorry for the pain your daughter is putting you through and your obvious love and painful realization of what your Granchildren are going through. Sadly as the children age and realize what she has done to them, they might distance themselves from their mother for sanity's sake and that is so very sad. I am glad that you are physically feeling better, but often the emotional drain far out weights the phsyical pain at times. Please know that all of you, grandchildren and daughter are in my prayers and i sincerely hope that by some miracle she will find her way back to a healthy and productive life. EP is a saviour to me as well and shortly i will be working for them as a volunteer. I have met so many amazing, positive and supportive people here, and EP allows me to vent the good, bad and ugly that finding this site by pure luck imo is Divine Interevention Bless you and try not to beat yourself up too much, as you are doing the very best that you can and sadly your daughter does not see it. i HATE drugs and alcohol, even more so when the user has children. If you are completely alone and wish to destroy your life than so be it, but as i was once told by a very insightful women, once you have children you nolonger have the RIGHT to be selfish. Plese know that my thoughts are with you!! Hugs, from someone who doesn't have a mother to a mother who is losing a child!!