Where do I go from here, everytime I try to begin I start to cry. I`ve been told to let it all out, why is it so easy to say something like that when you aren`t the one who lived it.
Hope, that`s what we all want. when you see all the folks who try to put their lives on paper it means it wasn`t just you. That much I`ve worked out for myself.
Hope is what we all strive for. To have a partner and with luck and favours from the Gods we can have a family.
This is where we start to differ from each other. We seem to split into four differant catagories.
1) survivors.
2) suicide
3)dealers and copers.
4) abusers.
Of all of these I detest the Abusers, why? Because they of all people should know how we all feel how we survive and how we vow never to treat another person, of any age or gender, how we were.
Some will say I`m wrong. I`m not. Why would I want to put anyone through what I went through. Tears are in my eyes now and I`m typing by touch, ye Gods I would commit suicide before I`d do anything to any child.
But, back to hope. I always hoped someone would know what I was going through and save me. At school something happened, I know what; but if I put it down someone may recognise me from it. My eldest sister came to my rescue looked at me. She turned to the others there and said " you idiots, you haven`t a clue what`s going to happen to him now". Someone knew, but she told me that was all she could do. "I will be here for you" and with that it has never, and I do mean never been spoken of again.
I noticed though that over the years she cried for me too.
I need to rest a while now. I will release myself a bit more soon, but not just now.......
0utlander 0utlander
61-65, M
Aug 19, 2014