How To Setup A Band That’s Good Enough To Make Them Dance.

First of all you need to give every white male citizen two options when he finishes his basic education, at around the age of seventeen. He can join the band for two years, or he can go to jail for five. Very few choose the latter, they are rare and will never learn to play any instruments anyway. That is the first step in weeding out those which obviously have no potential. The second step to weeding out those that will never learn to play their instrument is known as “basic training”. This means shipping all the wanna be artists to music camp. Upon entering the camp, ***** them of any civilian rights as he knows them. From here on in, there are no silly things like lawyers. The music school IS the law. He must understand that clearly. He can bark at the moon if he wants. Basic training takes a period of three months. For that period of time the musician must not leave the music school. He must make no contact with the outside world. He must not speak to relatives or friends. He must not see any females for this period of time. He must be pushed to his limits, both physically and mentally. It’s vital that he has very little sleep during this period. Here he is taught band mentality. Here he must learn that he is not a solo artist, even if he thought he might be. By setting up group tasks, he will learn that if he doesn’t want to play for the band, the rest of the wanna be musicians will physically make him, so that they can stop their suffering. To do that one needs to make the groups tasks physically difficult while they are deprived of sleep. If you spot a player that looks like he might not want to play ball anymore, inform the group that the task just isn’t going to end and nobody’s going to sleep until the group makes the player play. Again, let the player bark at the moon, no matter how ugly it gets. By the end of this phase you will have removed all players that definitely aren’t going to play. Give those ones a “dishonorable discharge” certificate from music school and let them be on their way. When that phase is over, it’s time to give the players their positions in the band, depending on their mentality. Give those that are physically stronger and more aggressive a ***** on the side of his arm. Give those that are inclined to think a bit more a star on his shoulder. This will make them all feel as one, and as if they have accomplished something great between themselves. Give the ones with stars on their shoulders office jobs, let the ones with strips on their arms do the hands on work. After three months, open the bar at music school. By now one has a pretty good band. All that’s left is to now invite your favorite people to the dance. But how do you invite people to a dance? And how do you make them dance?
I just know inside me I have to answer that question. The answer, by the way, is once again a simple one.
YBlah YBlah
Jan 7, 2013