I want to tell you the story about me and this boy:

In August, 2014, I went on a camp which involved some cadets across a part of England. Everyone at least knew someone there so, nobody was left out at all. Besides, we all met new friends anyway during the time we had there. There were four groups depending on your age range. I can't remember the names they gave the groups so, I'll call myself group 3. I liked my group. I think the age range was 12 - 14/15. I knew a few other people who were in group 4 (15 - 18) and yeah. That's about it. Anyway, I was playing football with a few of my friends and a boy from group 4 joined in. This was my head at that moment: "Oh my God, please date my right now love me pls." As you can probably tell by now, I thought he was attractive. We briefly spoke but you know. One day I was chilling on the field with a girl called Charlotte and someone else who I can't remember. They were both in group 4 and I was telling them that I liked this boy (Mr. Football Hot One) and I didn't know why I did this, but I did it. I got her to ask him out for me (don't ask why, I don't know. *by the way, I asked him what happened when she went over and asked him for me a few days ago, I was laughing so hard.*) Apparently, she ADVERTISED me to him. THAT WAS NOT WHAT I WANTED CHARLOTTE WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING. Yeah, he said no. I really hoped to myself I wouldn't see him again.


August, 2015. This time, it was abroad. We went to Spain for a week (it was great, just to let you know!) I already had my friendship group sorted out even though I knew the majority of the people going. I was just looking around in the place we were before we left on the coach and who do I see? Oh yeah, the guy that I totally embarrassed myself in front of. I pretended he was never there.
Day two - I was coming back from the showers back to the village that we were in and look who was in front of me...He spoke to me, somehow. I thought he wouldn't of remembered anything so, I just acted casual around him. Of course I had a crush on his still, have you seen the bloody kid?! I realised though that he talked to this girl a lot and I kind of got a little jealous about it. What I didn't realise was that they already knew each other. They went to the same school, same year. OH. I felt like a total idiot.
Day three - I had to grab two of my friends to admit to him that I liked him. Oh dear. Yeah, the response was great too. "I know, but she has a boyfriend." yay.
Day four - It was in the evening and it was around 10pm? We decided to go for a walk anyway. It was a pretty cute walk and I decided to bring up the topic of me liking him. I didn't realise that he liked me. *fangirls* We found out that our grandparents didn't live far from each of us. Mine live 15 minutes away from him and his don't live too far away. So, that was that.
On the Saturday, it was the last and final night we had at the place and we were at the disco (it was on every night but, everyone had to go) and we all went back in one group but, we and him decided to have a final walk. Of course, the rest of the group were like, "oooh..." idk. It was retarded.
We were like having a deep conversation and how I have a boyfriend and everything...blah, blah, blah. You don't realise how badly I could of just kissed him on the cheek. He hugged me though.
We sat together on the coach on the way back and it had to be coming up to midnight. We were both trying to sleep and the cute thing was, we were actually cuddling up to each other like, awh. When he went to the toilet, my friend, Kieran turned to me and literally pretended to pull a rope (metaphorical for the word, "Pulled".)
We had around 10 minutes left of each other's company, I was sad, I don't know if he was but, he said to me, "I'm going to miss you so much.." *cries* No, I didn't cry but, it was sad.

Right now, we've kept in contact and if it was last week right now, everyone would be bored on a coach watching a film. But, me and him? I'm now single. I broke up with my boyfriend because I didn't realise the freedom with the space we had. That one thing I would like about you know who, as he lives like half an hour away from me, we would still have the space from each other and we would be able to interact with friends and family more, which I didn't have with my "ex". I haven't felt this way about someone for a while. If I'm upset, he'll listen to me until I'm okay. He makes me laugh and well, he cares. He's sweet and find my little "cute" things sweet too. We joke around and realise how bad I am a flirting. I'm meeting him on Wednesday, I can't wait. Literally like, my affection for him is totally different to anyone else. You can tell I care, I slightly got jealous at the fact that he accidentally sent a message to the wrong person [me] and we send quite a few x's to each other anyway. and I got two. TWO. So, I could tell it was the wrong person. I told him and he was like, "Well there's nothing to be worried about or jealous about because she's just a friend from school and I don't like her in the same way as I like you." and omg. The things he does say to me are cute as hell. ugh. Can he be mine already?
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16-17, F
1 Response Aug 23, 2015

I want to tell him that I love him but, I can't.