Two Households, Both Alike Indignity, Part Two

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whole misadventur'd piteous overthrows
Doth, with their death, bury their parents' strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
And the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which, but their children's end, naught could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

       ~ Prologue, Romeo and Juliet

It's a tragedy, really.  The things that happen when people keep romantic liaisons secret.  I know two men whose wives cheated on them.  They are both good guys, I think.  My mother says that I only know their side of the story, which is true enough, but I know something about being cheated on.  And while they may have contributed to the situation that led to infidelity, they are hurting.  They were lied to, and vows made to them were broken.  That is so not cool.

I've already told you of my friend MM.  This other fellow is a very different personality.  We shall call him N.  He is wacky.  Younger, more on the wild side.  I met him on a BDSM site.  He likes it kinky.  And he gets it that way, by all accounts.  His wife is quite adventurous.  They have an open marriage.  He is a lovable thing, this man.  Musically gifted and as enthusiastic about life as a golden retriever puppy.   Bouncy and fun.  He's said that he gets off on other men going out with his wife, watching her prepare for a date, knowing that she will be having sex with someone else.  But when he said that, there was a tiny note of doubt in his voice, like maybe this was not really such a fun thing.

We'd been talking on the phone about it all a while back.  A couple of months ago now.  He was my first foray into the depravity of phone sex.  Such a nice man.  He speaks well, and his words made me very aroused.  Not the words about the wife sharing business.  Words about things we'd do to each other.  I don't really get aroused hearing about things men do with other women.  I want to play a role, y'know?  And he cast me in a starring one in a lovely fantasy he wove about the two of us.  So the two of us made all kinds of hot monkey loving together.  No actual monkeys were involved, but it wouldn't have surprised me if they had been.  This guy is a kinkster.  So not joking.  And I came.  Then, suddenly shy and feeling inadequate to intrigue and stimulate such a sensual man (im)properly, I softly bid him adieu.  He had not held a grudge about this.  He'd continued to correspond with me in a very friendly fashion.  And I sent him chocolates in thanks.  When I went to Manhattan, I bought a postcard at the Museum of Sex and sent it to him.  It made me happy to do this.

We chatted the other night and I learned that his lady had cheated on him.  You may well be asking how someone cheats when they are in an open marriage.  They lie.  They sneak around.  And that hurts their spouse a great deal.

I've tried hard to be honest with my mate even as I chat and correspond and phone and meet strange men for tours of Greenwich Village.  It's not easy, walking this tightrope.  I don't reveal how much my heart is involved in such transactions.  I merely keep him informed in a general sense so that I am not guilty of being sneaky.  But the truth is that I am awfully close to doing what this lady has done.  And it will hurt my husband, something I've no wish to do.  I sometimes wish that he would meet some other lady and fall madly in love and come to me and ask for a divorce.  Then I tell myself that is crazy, that we have a good life together and that I should not hope any such thing.  But it's hard not to when I find my heart leaping each time a certain man's name displays a green dot beside it on my chat menu. 

Meanwhile, I talk to gentlemen like my friend N, hoping that I can ease his hurt a bit.  Listening and offering conversation to distract him from the pain he feels.  Playing the Fool to poor King Lear as he deals with the betrayal of those near and dear to him.  How awful that is.  To find that you cannot trust the person who shares your castle.  N has a good heart, but it is hurting right now.  I do not want to cause hurt to hearts, only joy.  I take note of this incident and ponder how to proceed in my own life.

me: Guess who we saw last week, N?
N: Obama?
me: Chris Martin
N: Not a fan
me: oh, dear
N: I've met him while working
me: is he not nice?
N: Not one bit
me: oh, ****
that is awful
I am really sorry to hear it
N: He's an elitist//classist
me: damn it
N: He is handsome though
me: My bro tells me stories of people who are like that
so disappointing

me: if Martin was mean to my N, he is dead to me.
N: Haaahaaa
I need that today:)
me: how come?
what's going on?
are you feeling low?
N: rrrrrrrr
I try to bury but it's not going to work this time
me: what do you mean, darling?

N: my wife has been having an affair
me: oh damnit
N: doesn't make sense really 
i guess the lying is part of the fun/danger
thought we had that part down
oh well
me: that stinks
I'm sorry, love
so what is the deal?
how'd you find out?
N: has your husband been good to you since your last discussion about sex
me: yes, he has
N: YEAH!!!!!!!
that's good to hear
It's been going on for a couple months and she wanted to be honest

me: Ah
so it was confession time
N: Y
me: that's more than my man did 
is she going to continue seeing him?
N: better than finding out second hand
me: hell yes
N: sorry bout that M
me: no no
it's okay
I am concerned about you
what is her plan?
does she care for this man?
N: She says she doesn't. He works with her and is leaving the company this month
Who knows
hard to believe or trust anything at this point
me: I know.

N: That is why I LOVE The Who and Led Zeppelin
I'm always safe them
me: Yes, love
N: They always protect me from harm
me: Yep
N: Honestly I love my dog and the music of The Who & Led Zeppelin more than anyone person in my life
Thanks for listening
me: Any time, my dear man
I am really sorry she's hurt you this way

N: Thank you. Our 5 year anniversary is Sat 
me: ha
get a flogger for the *****
N: Timing is hilarious
me: and smack her *** good
N: haha
she'd like that
me: happy - whap!
anni- whap!
versary - whap!
N: you made me laugh
me: good
you should only have laughter in your life
you have a lovely laugh
N: there you go!
i love yours too
me: tell me about your music conference, lovey
was it utterly wild?
N: jesus, i've never been offered so many drugs in my life
me: bahahaha
N: not kidding one bit
me: I hope you refused
that stuff can hurt you

N: i did meet some great people and learned a lot about my market
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
May 4, 2012