No Guilt....what Is Wrong With Me????

I admit it. I cheated on my husband numerous times with my ex boyfriend. I always felt that him and I had a connection, but let it go when he broke up with me. we both moved on then his girlfriend cheated on him, he was heartbroken, called me up and one thing led to another and it just happened. But you know what?? I didn't regret it, it felt amazing. would I do it again? I have no idea. but I felt no guilt. none what-so-ever. Is that sick? and I a freak? I need advice
amity amity
22-25, F
11 Responses May 11, 2007

You must to think about that oneday he can find out by HelloSpy

You may continue with what you're doing but you certainly have to prepare for the consequences.I have cheated my self and I don't feel guilty at all mostly because they cheated on me first.LOL

You need a great deal more than advice, sweetie! You need some morals... and maybe a backbone... and how about a truckload of integrity... maybe a dollop of trustworthiness, as well. No guilt? Means you don't really care about husband; you just fool yourself into thinking you do. And obviously, you most certainly DIDN'T let go of that connection... or this wouldn't have happened at all. "One thing let to another..." That MIGHT fly; ONCE. IF you felt remorse afterwards. But it's happened again and again, and there is NO remorse... so don't even try to float that excuse here. Are you simply incapable if imagining yourself in your husband's position? Him cheating on you with an old flame, many times? And feeling GOOD about it? I am SO sick of you hypocritical women who proclaim to feel no guilt over cheating on the most important person in your (low) life. You'd be out for blood if YOU were on the betrayed end of the situation, don't tell me you wouldn't... your credibility is already strained enough. 'Fess up and take your lumps, or call it quits and free yourself to have an 'amazing' time, and free your husband to find somebody with some scruples.

All well and good... provided, of course, that HE has the same latitude as YOU do. And please... leaving it to "the beings above"? C'mon! "The devil made me do it" never works, and never has... and it won't work this time, either. No, no one if us is perfect... mistakes are made... old feelings overwhelm... but you SHOULD feel guilty afterwards, even if your marriage isn't the best, because cheating is not just about betraying your husband; it's also about breaking your own promise, thereby reducing your own self-worth (at least if you have a conscience, that is. Sounds like you don't.)

That is just SO immature... "He did it first! He did it first!" How old are we, like, five? What you SHOULD do is confess to the husband you supposedly love, and ask for his help in breaking things off clean. Best thing to do is send the 'boyfriend' a letter (NOT the phone...can't get into an awkward dialogue in a letter) stating that you have no desire to further endanger your marriage, so you are officially severing all ties. Have the BOTH of you sign it (you and husband). Change your phone number, if the old boyfriend has it. Be prepared to be an open book to your husband; no computer passwords he doesn't know, full access to your cellphone and email accounts; you have to EARN his trust again, and that won't happen with secrets. If contact ever does occur, CALL YOUR HUSBAND IMMEDIATELY!! It can be done; it's done all the time. Like quitting smoking, you have to truly WANT to quit; nothing less will do. What you WILL do is probably something else entirely. Up to you. Good luck.

Cheating happens, i enjoy it myself, just be introspective and be yourself

Sometimes the thrill is just so right there. I did not see a gf for like a month and I found myself french kissing a woman down the road from my house. lol Maybe you will figure things out who knows.

I believe there is that one person that you have so deep and profound a connection tha tthey are like what l term quicksand. the momemt they come back int o your life, you get involved with them. But think of ht ebigger picture, is it worth sacrificing what you have now? really. if it is then go on but if not, restrain yourself. l am a fine one to give advice as l am a constant cheat but l am a fool. Don't be like me, and one day,m l'll get my act together. l do have my quicksand and have risked lots, fortunate that ll have not been caught but l also cut off all ties with her so as not to be tempted. Know what they say "lead me not into temptation, l can take myself there". All the best

You should feel amazing...you're getting what you missed...happiness. If this guy is giving you a real partnership, you would feel guilty...your feelings are revealing.

Obviously, 'bigbill26', you ain't introspective enough... not by a long shot. Would you give the same advice to your own wife? Ohhhh, it's different now, isn't it?

I feel no guilt either. If you love your husband and your marriage is good - cut of the contact and keep your family intact. I'm in a similar situation but I am not in love with my husband and haven't been for a long time.

heres some advice. similar story to a point. I felt no guilt either, the only guilt i felt was NOT feeling guilty. talk about a paradox. a 12 yr marriage, 2 kids and one night all the stars were in place, husband out of town for a week, kids with nana, girl night out b day bash and uhoh i met up with an old college friend who had feelings for me way 10 years ago (i was with hubbys since high school) but he decided not to pursue becuz i was married(nice of him). and i wanted to be with him in college to but alas society and its beliefs about how to be married got in the way and we lost contact until that night a few months ago. well i get drunk, stay at a friends, he just so happens to show up at 2 am and I, yes ME, initate the sex. It was great and i feel no guilt. Neither does he. So my husband comes home the next weekend and all is well and like it was before. My only reason for seeking a site like this out is becuase of one little vivid dream the other night with this other person in it. Si i suggest if you dont feel guilty about it and it was once time with that person then it was actually meant to be by the beings above writing it into your life story. It was gonna happen regardless. So you are not a bad person and it is possible for women to do things like this and not feel bad. Society needs to wake up and realize WE are not perfect and We do things from time to time to get a thrill out of life.

Okay I know this is extreme,but tell me. If You kill someone and you do not feel guilt does that still mean you are a good person or does it mean you are crazy/evil/psyhco etc.? Was youkilling that person meant to be since no one found out? Does society need to wake up and realize that we are not perfect and killing is okay and is needed for the thrill?your thoughts?

I failed to mention that before we were married my husband cheated on me...so maybe it is that I wanted revenge??? <br />
I am happy in my marriage, I love everything about my marriage, there is nothing wrong with it. I love our relationship, I have never been happier.<br />
I don't know what it is about this ex boyfriend, he just always seems to somehow appear in my life. we still keep in contact and I know it is wrong. I need to break it off. I just don't know how, I know I don't owe him anything explanation. HELLP!!!!

One GREAT way to destroy your marriage is to cheat, and if you continue, eventually you will be caught, so the question is, is cheating worth your marriage, OR would your time be better used by improving your marriage to the point that you would not WANT to cheat. My ex cheated on me, and it was one reason why our marriage ended. Cheating does not occur in isolation, there are usually a number of reasons why someone cheats. In the end, in my case, despite ALL the other reasons why we divorced, the one reason that HURT the most was that he cheated. IF you love your spouse, but are unhappy in your marriage, do them one courtesy, tell them what makes you unhappy and see if they are willing to help improve the situation and if they are not, than leave. Don't waste their time and life under the illusion that they are loved by you, because quite simply LOVE does Not hurt. (imo) good luck!!

This is the most sensible comment I read on this page. If you cheat then it tells what kind of person you really are and you probably don't feel guilt because you are protecting your psyche.