I Am So Confused!! I Want To Cheat On My Husband

I have been married for 21 years, my husband is very mentally and emotionally abusive, we have gone to counceling numerous times, he always says he will change for me and our girls, an he does but it only lasts about a month. He has cheated on me, he lies all the time, he is so manipulative, I have been faithful for our entire marriage. We are fighting agian now, about every 6 months we go thru this, but I am so tired of it, our daughters have even told me to leave him, were all afraid of him and his temper, hes never physically hit us, but emotionally is just awful!! well a friend of ours just came back into our lives, we havent seen him for about 10 years, I have always been attracted to him, last week he told me how he feels about me, when I think of him I smile alot, get the butterflies and everything. I do not want another relationship what so ever, my marriage has been very very rough, so the thought of a relationship with this other man isnt even a question, I do however want to have an affair with him. I have never ever cheated on my husband, I've been a faithful devoted wife and mother, my entire world has revolved around my family, our girls are 20 and 15. I cant stop thinking of this other man, and I am not the cheating type, when my husbamd cheated on me 4 years ago it just killed me, and I wouldnt wish that pain on anyone. I am just so tired of the abuse and the screaming at me all the time, and the fighting, I just dont know what to do. I love my husband, but I think I'm at the point where I just dont care anymore.
kiki51611 kiki51611 41-45, F 14 Responses Nov 15, 2012

Your Response


you need to cheat on him and humiliate him and leave him. he sounds like an ******* and probably should be sucking ***** for a living and giving the money to you. Find a safe place for you and your daughters and then divorce him and take every last penny he owns

You really need to go for it. Make sure. It's very naughty and your lust for this new man is at a peak. Make it as sinful and do him as if you are( pretend) you are a hungry **** wanting this unfaithful leashes so desperately!! You will want it all the time go sexy girl!!

I'm in a very similar situation, only I love my wife.
Write me if you wish.

Are you asking us because you need enforcements that tell you its okay or did you just need to get it out? I think you already know down deep what you should do, have you talked to your girls about this? It sounds like the three of you are open and honest about what goes on....I say do it, leave him, and become happy...not in that order if you don't want to!

Save, or hide $5,000 and remove your name from all credit cards, accounts. A lawyer will serve the divorce papers to his job, so you will be gone with the money, and even the young addults.

Just do it! It will feel so good !

Dear , If you cheat your husband you will destroy your kingdom wich for many years tried to construct,the answer you said already " I wouldnt wish that pain on anyone" so think at least on your kids...

I know exactly how you feel cause I feel the same way. Only a couple differences in my story. My husband is physically abusive as well as emotionally abusive and constantly cheats on me. I know the reason I want to cheat is not even sexual I just want someone to enjoy spending time with me and actually wanting to go places with me. I want more of an emotional affair but if it progressed so be it. I would say try everything thing you can think of to fix the relationship and if it doesn't work leave. If your stuck like I am then consider cheating (i know people are not going to like that I said that) because at the end of the day you should be happy and if having an affair helps you make the best of a bad situation then so be it.

I would recommend exhausting all options first. Like going to couples therapy (don’t force him to go), AND therapy for yourself perhaps (what role to you play in all this), give him ultimatums (stop abusing me or me and the girls will leave), acceptance (this is the life and I chose to accept it the way it is and do nothing), etc. IF none of the options work AND divorce is not among them, THEN cheating is your only option left to fulfill your needs. I would recommend you cheat with a married man; someone who has as much to lose as you do. Then, do your homework well beforehand as to not get caught. Keep it clean and discreet. As a person who has cheated and got caught, I tell you to tread carefully down this road. It hurts everyone involved including yourself and “the other man” and his wife and kids too if it applies. For me, it was a lot easier explaining what options I had, that I had tried all of them first and then why I made the “mistake”. From your brief description of your husband, he most likely will say you were just getting even for cheating on you so be prepared to answer that question. Good luck!

I hope you will one day find happiness, however that may be.

If you Leave your husband it won't be cheating. Sounds like there's reason to consider leaving.

Why are you still with your husband?

Do your homework and prepare yourself first. Make sure this very lucky guy knows what he is in for. He has to understand from the beginning that this is for fun and that he has to keep his mouth shut but he will soon learn that another man's wife is the best sex there is. Make sure you can handle this because once it's done, you live with it. If you can come to terms with the fact that it is what it is then go for it. You should both have fun with it. And remember that the most beautiful panties in the world are the ones laying on the bedroom floor.

But you should set your thinks properly.