How Will It Be?

i think about death almost everyday. it gets worse at night. sometimes i think i'm crazy because i can be lying in bed trying to go to sleep and i'll think i'm going to just suddenly stop breathing and die.... i wonder what it feels like, how i will die, will i know i'm dying, i don't want to know, i want it to just happen. i can't imagine it at all. i know i obsess just slightly.... when my grandma was in the care home i asked her if she believed her and my grandpa were going to be together again, and she said yes but not right away. then i asked her to let me know somehow after she passed on , if it's really true about the after life. she said she would try. after she passed i believe she sent me two signs. one was a multi level shelving unit i had, with tons of stuff on it. i came home and the picture of my grams and gramps was lying face up on the landing in the doorway,,nothing else had fallen only that picture.. the other sign was the door bell rang once and no one was there.. somehow i did manage to find comfort in knowing there is peace and comfort over (up) there and she really did try to reach me.  it may sound goofy to some people but it meant alot to me...
prettyinpink prettyinpink
46-50, F
3 Responses Mar 8, 2007

People who don't experience that foreboding anxiety over death and dying sometimes cannot understand the volume of its demands for our attention. It is not as simple as agreeing that, 'You're right, we'll just get about living now, what was I thinking?'. I have a suspicion that some people are somehow more sensitive to the reality of death, and their subconscious encourages them to ask questions of that important stage of life. If those of us who ponder over death do not ask questions of it, we cannot expect those who live as though death is make-believe to ever bring our community understandings..<br />
Though it may seem unusual to say so, I believe we should ask deeper questions about death than how will it happen or will it hurt. Those of us prone to dwell on the subject matter of death may be able to fathom certain understandings others have no access to..

Life is for the living Pretty. You're not dead. That's a very good thing. I believe we are all here to learn lessons and we will keep coming back until they are learned. Everyone in our lives are there for a purpose and to teach us lessons and vice versa. Please live for the moment. Don't dwell on death or dying. It's all about now. After all what is wrong in this very moment, right now?

to me it doesn't sound goofy at all, I believe in those things too, she was definetly trying to reach you, I believe in rebirths, i think you will be born again one day but that might sound goofy now lol