I Don't Want to Be Afraid

I guess I'm not crazy after all, for as long as I can remember I've thought about death and dying, it all started when I was a little girl, I think I was 5 years old, when my mothers mom died, she was the sweetest grandma ever, when she died my mother was so sad for she loved her mother so very much, well I guess my fear of death started after she passed away,

 

angelsheart angelsheart
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 19, 2007

I started my fear about that age... crying everytime my parents left thinking they might die. This soon started soon after 4 close people in my family died one right after another. Now I am obsessed and think about suicide b/c things seem just to tough to deal with and I can't. Or just don't think I can. It's such a scarey thing for me.

This is going to sound strange maybe but I used to be very fearful of dying. Then I had a near death experience in 1993. I can't begin to describe the experience other than very peaceful. Since then I have not been consumed with that fear.

The great unknown! I have always feared death. I cant stand the thought of not knowing what happend next, to just put my faith in a belief that there is something greater. I think about it more now since my cousin was murdered. I picture her and the pain she went through. It scares me. How will I go and how much would I have left behind!<br />
I believe these fears to be normal.

I used to fear death but now that life hadn't turned my way. I don't fear it.