Planning.

it is so weird. when i was much younger, i remember my friends planning their weddings. i would go along with it, but in reality i had no interest in it. i was planning my funeral. and it's only gotten worse since then. when i'm in church with my mother on sundays, i imagine exactly how i would have things set up, and and i try to think of who would be there. this can't be normal! truly, death consumes the majority of my thinking. i wish i could stop. but i can't.
gypsysoul gypsysoul
22-25, F
2 Responses Jul 3, 2007

my ex boyfriend was obsessed with his dying he feared mortality more than anything, he would sit in the chair with this 'look' on his face trying to figure out what happens after we die.. and how can we die and where do we go, it was hard work but you are certainly not alone! we all fear our mortality... or wish for it in varying degrees you just happen to be someone who does it more often... i used to plan y funeral alot when i was younger as at 16 and 18 i lost 2 of ym closest school friends to drugs, i used to until my mum got really upset by it... then the idea of hurting people, in my mums eyes me dying before her petrified me out of it... don't worry about yourself, you will be fine, unless you do drive into something :P plans are good but maybe, lay them down somewhere in writing and leave it at that, it might help it might not... x

oh my goodness. i do that too. even if my friends are in the vehicle with me. and there's definitely times when i'm driving alone when i feel as though i should purposely run into things or off of things. thank God for this site, and the people on it. i feel semi normal...whatever that means.