Creating Coincidences

My life has turned into a steamy soap opera within 24 hours. Yesterday I was pissed off that I was not getting any action in my marriage and by the end of the day, I had plans to meet up with a friend to ameliorate that situation. I had trouble sleeping last night, I was so excited. It didn't hurt that my lover-to-be sent a picture of his rock-hard abs. Dang, he looks fine! I have to get my butt back to the gym and tighten up! 

I completely let myself go in the past year or two. I lacked confidence in my ability to do well in my career and lacked confidence in my ability to get laid. I actually gave up on having any physical intimacy ever again about 5 months ago. Until then, I had retained some hope that I'd get my husband sufficiently turned on. 

So now, about 15 pounds over my usual weight and with a little flab around the belly, I am rediscovering my confidence and sexuality. The amazing thing is that once I decided I needed to get my sexlessness out into the open (well, somewhat; I've told 3 friends and a bunch of strangers here on EP), I also decided that I deserve some passion. So much is in flux in my life, from career to relationship status to shedding the extra weight of hopelessness. And in the midst of all the uncertainty there is a very real knowledge that this is one of the best times of my life and great things are about to happen.

I feel alive, excited, confident. I am putting makeup on again, because even though I am carrying around some extra pounds I deserve to feel pretty! The amazing thing is that with this acknowledgment that I need passion and the confidence that I can and will release the real me - both physical and emotional - the opportunities are everywhere. This morning a male friend came up to me and hugged me and told me what a beautiful woman I am. My former coworker and soon-to-be lover confessed that he had it bad for me the whole time we worked together...the weird thing about that is when we worked together i was on the downward spiral toward giving up on myself, passion, and happiness. 

I may be 15 lbs heavier, but I feel sexier than I have in YEARS. And with that feeling, I seem to be attracting lots of much-wanted and needed attention. 

As of last night, I feel like a new woman. A woman whose future is bright and includes a great career and a great love life! And a bunch of question marks around my marriage. I am alright with that. Without those question marks, where would the fun be in life? 
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16 Responses Jun 21, 2011

Amen ! cheers ! mmmmm

WAKE UP. Make a decision to leave your husband BEFORE you go and cheat on him. IF you think there is anything worth saving in your marriage, then be honest with him and tell him how you really feel and at what point you are at. You are being disrespectful and selfish. Imagine it was the other way around, how would you feel to find out he was cheating on you? Having had it happen to me I can tell you it is not nice. Hopefully you are not so unfeeling that you may regret your actions that might cause you, your husband and your families so much grief.

You have to solve the situation with your husband first, divorce or reconciliation. <br />
You say the reason you are becoming unfaithful is because of your husband, but reading i realize that you are thinking only on you. Don`t you think your husband is feeling bad too? And if he is a bad guy why are you with him?

wow, you sound totally and utterly selfish. In this, you do not think about your husband once. Have you ever wondered why he won't have sex with you? Maybe, you should head to the gym and lose the weight then maybe your husband might take interest in you!!!!

Woah! Aggressive with the weight issue!

If only I had the balls to do that girl.<br />
I would feel so guilty cheating although my husband and I have sex so infrequently that I think about it often and find myself literally drooling over other men-even HIS OWN BROTHER.<br />
I ma becoming desperate and don't know what to do. have talked to him before and he is aware of the situation but he just has a very low libido. I am lucky if we have sex every 4 months and that's probably because I initiated it. his big excuse is: I am not good at initiating, which is true but still I don't want to always feel like I am doing all the work. I want him to take control. <br />

Try learning massage with a view to foreplay (you tell him it's practice). This will change his focus and may help with his libido.
For more info (as I do massage for a living) find me at G ma iL and I will send you or anyone who is interested a link. ;)

I'm in a mirror opposite of your situation except that I am male and ( Like many others) my wife is not affectionate or intimate with me. I am an attractive guy, I have women tell me so and have had offers to " Hook up " Being what has happened recently in my relationship I may follow through on an offer. Good luck. Maybe toys or a movie with him will get him in the mood. It doesn't work with my situation but it may with yours

Confidence enhances beauty. You will drop the pounds I can tell by just listening to you. <br />
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Life is too short to waste away. Use caution but live life to the fullest.

why don't people marry people who they love and love them back ? l;


Lets all be realistic here and let us be carefull. Anonymity is open to massive abuse. I hope you met up with mr Right in a safe place, checked out his bona fides and have some escape plan if things go wrong. Personally I hope your relationship blossom and may only good emanate afterwards.

So what happened!? You sound like you are taking control again...good for you!!! Best of luck.

It's right there where it's always been Sweetheart. It's In your head not in your crotch

Good luck to you.<br />
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You never lost anything it was just put on the back burner waiting for the right time to be turned on again.<br />
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You don't need an affair to wake up your inner already had it but you did not know it.<br />
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If you want to have fun, Go only live once.<br />
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Be safe and don't get caught.

Great post. You said what I'm feeling right now.

Game on sista!

Ride it like you stole it ! LOL! Happy for you!

Remember, it's not the weight that guys find attractive, it's the confidence. Once you have regained that, you are golden.

I love this place. Where else can one have a front row seat to watch a woman find her long-lost spark?<br />
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Meanwhile, elsewhere in EP, other members are praying for your soul.<br />
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