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I Think About Having An Affair

I am a 34 year old house wife with a 7 year old son and a 2 year old daughter.  Recently my husband has been out of work and refuses to let me have a full time job, he wants me to stay home.  But when you have no food no extra money to go anywhere with your kids you start getting angry and it is with the husband.  I don't think he is taking care of us like he is suppose to.  I always dream about hooking up with someone who is successful, I am not a gold digger I just want to be taken care of and have money to do fun things.

My husband constantly gropes at me and wants me to do sexual stuff that I don't want to do but I don't want to do it with him because he has done me wrong so many times, why should I give him the satisfaction, I don't know if I am falling out of love with him because he has let me down so many times or if my personality is changing.  I love my husband but I am bored, some women would love to have my husband, he constantly tells me how beautiful I am and wants to have sex 5 times a day, but he is also very jealous, he does not like me going places.  I am a social person and I feel like for the past 5 years I have lost my self.  I get depressed I want to dress up and be around people, have conversations, I want to be sexy.  I am a 5'7 135 pounds with long brown hair and I used to love looking good, now all I do is sit at home with kids wearing sweats with no makeup, I could get all dressed up but what for, my kids???   Money is route of all evil!!!  It controls my life!!

This is why I fantasize about affairs, I think if my husband would make enough money for me to go out and do stuff I wouldn't think about it.

I just want my sexy back!!!

I will be one of those 40 year olds that when the kids are grown I will get my self back and I will go wild and probably end up divorced!!!!

Feelinglonely Feelinglonely 31-35 9 Responses Mar 18, 2008

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i would love to chat w u privately. we hav much in common...plz

Just divorce that guy!

Do that when you are 40 woman. I am dating a 40 yr old woman, and now she knows what she wants. I am 25 and you could call me succesful. but we are damn happy !

no wonder your husband wants sex 5x a day. he 's not working !!<br />
i understand your disappointment cuz does he really think you want to lay around and have sex all day while YOU are worrying about the bills and keeping the kids fed.<br />
what is HE thinking?

Run get out do something with your life, if this loser won't work get someone who will I am married and my wife and I have a great relationship of freedom, but no matter what I have and will always work even at a job I hate for lower than normal wages but I work something anything the head of the house must work or he has to go. If you are as good looking as you claim you will have no problen finding a good descent man with a job.

Well I'm on the other side of the tracks. My wife and I have three kids and somewhere late 30s early40's anger entered into our relationship. Some from having less time with each other because of kids, some from me working and traveling so much. Money wasn't the problem but I felt I needed more attention (in the bedroom) It became a once or twice a month event. She on the other hand wanted me to give her more respect and consideration for her contributions to our household. I love her and thought I was. A line was drawn and neither of us were smart enough or knew better of what damage could come from not addressing the problem. I ended up having an affair and when she found out it nearly destroyed our marriage of 23 years. Luckily and because we got help were we able to salvage our marriage. Affairs seem exciting but the negative effects they can have on both yourself and your spouse can be devastating. If you want something different in your life being honest with your spouse first and maybe there is a way to find happiness within what you have and if not get out of the marriage. Affairs hurt

The old story it's the Bucks & the Bed........................<br />
We all need a certian amount of money to live on, & when you are not able to meet the essentials in life. Yes that is tough !<br />
A friend of mine was going through a similar situation as to what you have described, earlier this year, & I think it would not have taken to much encouraging to have got her into bed either, she had no cash, & bills just kept coming every day. Her husband seemed to be on a different planet. What was worse, my wife was o/s at the time (so noone would no). Except my friendship would have been utterly destroyed both with her & also her husband who I regard very highly. <br />
So it's a hollow thing to think that all things will improve with more dosh, the more most people have the less happy they often are.<br />
So without sounding to carss, "Don't go screwing around for a loaf of bread" - that just reduces you to a prostitute.<br />
But I do agree with the others you probably do need some "breathing space" - with out hubby!

Yes,zoroman is right...just get away from him temporarily so both of you can have the space that you need and from there, you can analyze what you really want..do you still want to live with him?..or go solo to make yourself happy and do the things you like to do..you're so bored and burned out, just take a break..have some fresh air without your husband tagging along with you..get a life without him so you can be free and meditate at the same time.

You sound like the woman who lives down the road from me. So, I guess you could say there are others and probably many in your shoes. Not that that makes it any easier for you. Your situation sounds horrible and it seems as if you need time away from him. Can you take your kids and visit some family that might live out of town so you can get a break from him during the next school vacation? Also please feel free to private message me or others here if you just need to talk, vent or have a friend.