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I Would Realy Love An Affair.....

I would realy love an affair... to have a boy/girlfriend nobody knows about....I love secrets.
linda linda 22-25, F 104 Responses Feb 22, 2007

Your Response


I feel the same way..

Hell yes

i have the same issue but only with another girl would i ever

I never thought I would meet a woman who feels how I do! I mentioned the thought of having a girlfriend and my husband flipped! He wants a *********, I don't want him included, just a girl of my own. If he wants to have an affair, fine, but find your own fling!

Yes sounds fun !! I feel the same way!!!

I am proceeding to have an affair----Her marriage is like mine,just existing----her husband is doing his own thing,comes home for clean cloths and than heads north. I'm in a sexless relationship.We agree to meet down the road and go slow---we have no intentions to ending our marriages at this time. Sometimes its the only way that it will work one way or the other.

boy there are certainly a lot of responses that dont seem to understand what this is all about,, first,, we want an affairs because there are some basic things missing in our relationship.. ,,the comments about one night stands are just plain off the mark,, there are no longings with the one night stands,, we who want an affair are looking for intimacy, clossness,, and those elements that are missing,,

I love it too. I am not single unfortunately. Been married for 17 years but would really like to have an affair.

I have had my share of one night stands, a nd while doing so I keep trying to get my wife to have a 3 some with anyother man. She would not give an inch on that, so I just keep on the one night flings. Wam Bam thanks you mam. Over 20 years I would say that I had a fling at least once a year. Our marriage was going no where, until she finally agreed to try a three way in Las Vegas. She got ****** by one heck of a nice pro stud, with me being right there to enjoy the spoils. After he left, we had the most wonder full sex that we had ever had. The next day we talked about it, and we both felt that it brought both of us closer together. Now we have sex at least once ever other month with a stranger. No attachment for either one of us. Just pure go old sex. No love, just enjoyment. Before this all happened, I know she had sex with an old boy friend, and I am sure that she knew about me. This has never been brought by either one of us.

Sober up, Young Soul. Affairs profoundly damage not only your family and those that love you the most (including any children you may have), but also the families of the people you potentially step out with. Believe it or not, we are our brothers keepers, and owe a duty of care to others in our society, even if we don't know them. So you want some excitement in your life? Do some charity work, help some disadvantaged kids, the impoverished or the sick in a hospice home. You'll find that by selflessly giving something away you getting permanent, lasting peace rather than the fleeting thrill of deception (which, by the way, will ultimately be uncovered).

Add me:)

There is another possibility... No one has mentioned, I have been married 10 years now, I love my wife and she loves me. However as much as that is great and all we are intimate maybe 4 times a year. This is mainly due to her health, she cannot enjoy intimacy due to pain from degenerative bone issues in her neck. It is not what you call a "turn on" for me and especially not for her. So now I am still healthy and have always had a strong sex drive and I LOVE to please my mate with a good hard pounding after a bath etc.. Now I ********** nearly every day instead. I am not sure I want the full affair but I would enjoy finding someone online to share some intimacy with maybe meet that person if it seems right. I have realized that sex is not as important as what we have and I am afraid to lose that. BUT, I will not put the burden on her, she had no say in her health issues. So that said, I left with few choices.<br />
I will not leave her as she needs me and I need her, even w/out intimacy, <br />
I either go without now or ??? If I can find a FWB in a similar situation it may allow all of us to enjoy some of what time is left. I have thought about this for over 4 yrs now, it is not easy to find that special lady that 'gets it' I am not a bad person / adulterer etc.. But I need a way to get through this time preserving our quality of life somehow. <br />
Thanks for listening, try not to judge me to harshly... That's Gods job. M

Hi. Nobody is here to judge you. I hope you find that person soon.

Hi, i would love to chat to you about all this..! Im 32, and very bored! Really don't think you'd be disappointed.. X

so many of us in the same boat,, here in southern colo,, very dry,,lol

It would be so exciting!!! I feel monogamy places a strain on the human soul.. Tat said I would never ever want to hurt anyone that way....

Few affairs remain secret. Are you willing to face the consequences, are you willing to lie, you cant have an affair without lying. Oh yes you might even feel guilty.

I love secrets also.<br />
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I am having a secret affair with myself.<br />
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I would not want to get hurt again, so I will settle for myself and my EP family.<br />
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I am secretly telling my soul to people who I do not know and it feels good to get some stuff off my chest without being negatively judged and criticized. Besides most people in the real world act like they don't know or understand what you are talking about or what you are going trough. I might be talking to some of them and they don't know it. But they will not tell because they are scarred.<br />
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Have fun with your secret affair. Good luck and be safe. stimulating aren't they....

i feel the same way i am not married yet but i feel like getting married and I already facinate about having an affair and seeing if i can get away with it

I too have given some very heavy thought into having an affair. But it hasn't been lets just find someone to do it with. I met a man at work who I fell for. His energy and his charisma was what turned me on. He has great sense of humor and a love of the arts. He feels drawn to me too.I am married and so is he. At times I feel like it would be wonderful to have this secret for myself. To do something that it was just for my own pleasure. Other times I am afraid of the negative consequences that may come. Or the fact that my friend would want more. Until I can figure it all out we remain apart.

Stranger sex...aquintence sex..can be fun for the moment....<br />
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I went through this period of time...when I would **** anyone...and each time I went through the motions...during the was fun and erotic...but when it was over...I said to myself...and...nowwhat? Was it really worth it...and sometimes...HELL YA it was...bit other felt cheap...and just GROSS...<br />
I had done it so often that finally I came to a point where the emptiness became so overwhelming...that my brain finally said...can we be done now...and after that when I found the love of my life. Sometimes you have to get to the absolute bottom to get yourself back to the top....

Everybody loves secrets. The problem with them is that sooner or later, they will come out; therefore be ready to deal with the consequences.

sorry i want a looong term affiar with much sensuality,, much intimacy and a lot of long sensual lovemaking sessions much communication,, and trust,,

I have thought about it quite a few times. I don't know if I would want an affair so much as just a fling or a one night stand. I was travelling for work a couple of years ago with a girl I work with that was totally trying her hardest to get me to **** her. I did not and thank goodness. It would only make things very awkard at work. There have been a few other girls that I work with that I probably would have hopped in bed with in a heart beat given the chance.

there must be some members of this group that seriously want to act on thier desires


ya meee tooo,,, i remenber when i was 25 and a married friend said "we should get togather " and i didnt move on it ya stupid,,, now im lookin for a friend / lover / buddy here in colorado,, <br />
i can imagine the relaxing time dozing after sex,, the good conversations and the laughs sharing all that im missing now,,,,

I completely 100% understand. Its the mystery of it all. the oh i almost got caught rush. i would love to have that.

where can some of us put it togather,, im in colorado,, loooong dry spell..

my advice...<br />

At 51 I know I have about 20 years left to have some of the sexual experiences I want to have. I have been married 21 years and have had a lot wit my wife back when. Now there is a lot of love which I would not trade for the world but little to no sex. Conversations do not help and the no grows bigger. Affair? it may be time but with respect for self and other and total secret. Anothers wife in the same boat or something. No prostitues or taking advantage of young girl. A lover

I am having an affair right now with my boss, it is the biggest high for me, a secret lover no one knows about, a feeling is being excited when you see him, your heart punds and aches for another moment in time with him..nothing wrong with that

I would have a affair if the right woman, and situation came to be.

Sometimes as we get older and we find ourselves not feeling complete or fullfilled it is time to take a chance and find a person with whom you can enjoy some special adult time, be it talking, flirting, or having sex. The best thing to do is keep it separate from your everyday life. Don't let it interfere with your home life. Use the time as "selfish" time for yourself. Be discrete, careful, and stay somewhat unattached emotionally. You may find that there is too much guilt and you can step back into your relationship, or you may find what you need to get you through. It can work.

Me too ;D<br />
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I'm bored! I think thats why I'm seriously considering it. I have been with my husband for what seems like an age (basically 8 yrs).<br />
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I love him in a way but....He just dont thrill me if u know what I mean and I dont mean sexually either...

linda-there must be something missing in your marriage.<br />
i donot agree or disagree-i have learned a long time ago to not try to run another person's life !!!<br />
i hope your fantasies involving another man get over soon and you can focus on the reason ,too.<br />
good luck,Bob

Well said Zorbas!

Affairs are risky and potentially painful for many involved. , However, for some it is the only desperate solution to a unlivable marital situation. <br />
<br />
While I do not advocate this nor support this for everyone neither do I think myself worthy of judging anyone who chooses that sometimes momentary bid for some happiness in their lives.

off hand I'd say something is, although provocative, is somewhat on the downside....someone to spend the rest of your life with is much more gratifying, I wish for an affair but realize it is a longing for the missing element of affection.

I think its wonderful about to think about having some sex for the sex for itself. So how close are you to trying this out? Who Knows who might live near you to play with.

any lady interested in a asian man ??

I would like an affair with an Asian girl - any suggestions?

I would like an affair with an Asian girl - any suggestions?

I would like an affair with an Asian girl - any suggestions?

I would like an affair with an Asian girl - any suggestions?

Well, this all depends on a person's conscience. <br />
<br />
If a person believes this is like having a good time and not worrying about the world at large - then it does not go against that person's value system.<br />
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Conversely, another person may find the concept shocking and thou the thought may enter their mind, will never act on the impulse because it clashes with their value system. Or more importantly, realise what the repercussions of their actions may cause - ultimately.<br />
<br />
You do the crime, don't whine....... like a little baby when all hell is unleashed on you.

an affair is like having fun, enjoying life, and pleasuring yourself w/o having the world judeging you.

we are here to discuss affairs,, i dont need to be lectured,, i wnt it and im persuing it,, whereever,, john in colo

Wow looked at this for the first time today and it hit home. Been involved in a relationship for 10 years outside my marriage. Initially we went thru all the normal first love stuff. very touchy can't stand to be away from each other. We were very careful. Didn't want to damage families in the process. Had decided that we need to wait for the kids to get thru school. The relatiuonshop became more long distance as the other wanted to be closer to childhood home and family there. Hard but not undoable for the last 4 years. We saw each other much less but spoke on the phone almost each day. Shared the daily things, said the I loves you's and the I miss you's. We were solid and looking forward to one day. Both have a backround in faith but always reconciled it by knowing we really did love each other and we were committed to doing the right thing by biding our time. Guilt is there but you learn to accept it. 18 months ago we hit a bump. The guilt was really weighing on my partner. We worked thru it stronger than ever. Again 4 weeks ago we hit the same bump. Guilt is killing one partner and it needs to be that we have to end this. Now me is devastated by the loss. Can't fathom how someone you can love for this long just can't handle it anymore. But I must deal with it as if a beloved spouse had done the same thing. Affairs are not games, people do get hurt, mostly families but it can happen in other ways. We now have two people who know what they want are committed to their love but due to circumstances can't make it happen. never felt so crushed and many would not be sympathetic but it still sux right now. I wouldn't recommend going into any relationship on a whim esp. not an affair.

OK, Been there and done that. The problem I had was knowing I had to go home. it soothed me sexually for awhile but it also magnified how truly unhappy I am. I have recently asked my wife for a divorce because of the issues related to a sexless marriage and that we have drifted so far apart that I just cannot see how we could manage to put things back together. She is not a mean person but she is definitely out of touch with me. we share very little in common except out daughter and even her relationship with her is drifting as well. So if u choose to go out and have an affair be certain that this will help u not hinder u. Sooner or later u will have to leave his or her bed and return to the so called relationship u have now. U will find that even when u seem to relate to this other person it will not last and eventually u must return to reality and deal with the relationship u signed up for. I tell u there are no good choices as long as one wants to work on the saving the relationship and the other partner does not seem to get it. So just a little personal info. Good luck. God Bless.

I am on the other side of an affair. Having an affair is selfish. Leave your spouse first so he/she can find someone deserving of them, and will love them.<br />
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Religion and ethics have nothing to do with my feelings on adultery. As I said, I have been the one cheated on. It's not just you in the relationship.

Surujen the name of this group is.." I would really love an affair, Just curious what brought you here?


hey whats going on if you wanna talk about affiars reply back adn we can talk

What would be the reason for having an it the secrecy?...Is it for the sex?....why would you wanta do that?....The secrets are always found out sooner or later...and the collateral damage is out of your control...innocent people are changes every one involved forever....<br />
WHY would you be eager to go there????<br />
Its a serious question....I dont get it... I am interested in knowing why this happens....<br />
It seems an awful selfish thing.....I dont know...maybe I'm wrong...?????

Mesozoic,<br />
I'l glad that worked for you my friend! But it been my experience the opposite is true in most cases. In that it destroys your relationship and disolves any trust in each other you may have once had. It happened to me twice once I was the one who stayed, the other time it was my wife of 15 years! It distroyed US and hurt my kids most of all, since the guy was a so called family friend. But that's my story! Good luck.

I am one married guy who can honestly say that allowing my beautiful blonde wife to have an affair with a good friend (he doesn't know that I know) saved our marriage and allowed the kids to grow up in a good home, go to college,get their degrees,marry and live well. <br />
He was (and still is) married and has 2 kids of his own. She had (unprotected) sex with him for 7 years as much as two to three times a week. It dramatically improved our sex life and I wish it was still going on. We have been married for over 40 years. This may not be a recipe for happiness for all couples but it sure worked for us.

I am one married guy who can honestly say that allowing my beautiful blonde wife to have an affair with a good friend (he doesn't know that I know) saved our marriage and allowed the kids to grow up in a good home, go to college,get their degrees,marry and live well. <br />
He was (and still is) married and has 2 kids of his own. She had (unprotected) sex with him for 7 years as much as two to three times a week. It dramatically improved our sex life and I wish it was still going on. We have been married for over 40 years. This may not be a recipe for happiness for all couples but it sure worked for us.

OK folks... You can call having an affair what ever you want to call it! A secret or OK or immoral. I know from personal experience on both sides of the "stick" so to speak, that it is not worth the consequences! You may think it's a secret, but believe me when I say that if you commit adultary YOU WILL KNOW about it, even if no one else does and that fact will haunt you with guilt the rest of your life! I don't care how much fun it might be or how exciting the thought or the doing it might be, it is not worth it!! And if your spouse happens to find out about it. Well you might as well have taken a knife and stabbed them in the heart with it! Because believe me when I say that is exactly what it feels like. If you do it it will change your relationship with your spouse forever, never to be the same again. Think of the Golden Rule, would you like someone to do that to you? That should be enough to stop you right there. <br />
Now I didn't mention religion even once! Just plain common sense! I'm not defending Mitch's beliefs or his statements only stating the facts as I know them to be from experience! Knowing what I know now, I'll never repeat the mistakes of my past regarding this issue! I suggest you do the same! Oh I do agree with Mitch on at least one point. Cheaters beware, if your spouse finds out, I wouldn't fall asleep next to them! You might wake up dead as so many have before you!

What brought you to this group?

That's not the way to go.. No matter what the situation either try working it out..or let your spouse know your feelings.. Don't defile your marraige and go against GOds law.

Absolutely aspiringsociopath. Didn't have an affair, we had an 'open marriage' after my husband convinced me we could handle it.........totally backfired on him and screwed me up in the head too. My experience still haunts me, so having an affair sounds like a wonderful release, but be careful.

Yea its fun...til its over and hope you dont get the short end of the stick

I have a question for Mitch and Diane. If you guys are so well grounded and into your spouses, why are you here and not having long walks and quality time with them? Instead your in an adult chat group with people talking about having affairs. <br />

I would love to help you Linda, I feel the same way about secrets.

mitch use morality on the one hand about having an adulterous affair...then in the same breath you say you are for gay couples basically...i don't think that it is a matter of morality with you so much as it is that maybe ( just an observation) you had someone have an affair with someone you were with and you didn't know or approve of can't have morality in one area and not another area that would be just as bad to most people...thats hypocritical so just step back and examine your motives before you snap at people. you don't know where they are or what they have gone through.

This is the funniest forum so far. At what cost is it when one spouse breaks the vows by not giving emotional and physical support. After a couple of years of that I felt no remorse for going outside the marriage for support. So throw no stones mitch your rants are helping no one living in hell already. Kiss my grits!!!

That is SO true, your life is determined by the thoughts that you think, and ultimately the words that you speak will produce whatever you have been thinking about....whether it be good or bad.<br />
Thats just the way it is.

What an absolutely yummy thought - a secret gf...<br />
And before Mitch starts preaching, I have discussed this type of thought with my husband before, because just like the person who posted this story, I have only ever experienced this as A THOUGHT.

Mitch, Relax!!! I never said I wanted an affair with a married guy... <br />
And besides that, it is the issue of the person who IS married if he/she cheats, not of the other person

Mitch And Maureen<br />
<br />
What is human decency? not many seem to know these days, people just want to do things that please the senses, theres always a craving for more, whether its sex, alcohol drugs money or food they are all intoxicating to the body, and its just to satisfy the flesh and everyone does it because they know no better!<br />
They have not been taught how to handle life. Its simply a lack of knowledge of how life works...I believe God does exist and so does the devil, but neither will destroy man, man is quite capable of doing that all by himself, life is spiritual, your body is just your house the spirit man is the real you... and when you destroy your own spirit, or damage it, then its a downhill slide in the natural in all areas of your life, including sickness poverty strife addictions and the like ...Just my thoughts..on the subject..

Affairs sound nice and pleasing to the senses, but they cause too much damage to the spirit. when the spirit is crushed its not easy to recover, temporary pleasure is not worth the lasting pain that it causes on the inside, a pain that nobody else will feel but you.

I have been reading these and having a giggle over them because the name of the group is " I would really love an affair" and here you are telling people about how it's a bad idea. This is Like a Vegan coming to Red Lobster to tell everyone not to eat anything that used to be alive. Maybe this works for you Diane, and if it does I am happy you found something that works. But... why are you In this group if you really do Not want to have an affair? Do you feel it is your responsability to come to a group that people joined to maybe hook up... ir to just commiserate about their sexless marraiges, or maybe to discuss How enticing the illicit may be... in thought or in deed...and talk them out of it?

Just curious what is your motivation?

I am not interested in having an affair, but I read posts from this group because I want to understand why my husband almost had an affair. It doesn't help to just talk to people in my situation, I need to see both sides. It can be very enlightening. Of course from my point of view, an affair was the cause of the most pain I have ever felt in my life.

What would be the point of preaching to the converted? I'm a vegan, and I have no problem with going into a Red Lobster, ordering the salad, and explaining, when asked, why I'm not eating any of their meat options.

Nobody said anything about wrecking mariages.<br />
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A mariage is not the only reason to keep an affair secret.<br />
<br />
by the way, it is and will always be the fault of the person in the mariage not the other ones

I disagree. It takes two to tango, and if the one person knows the other is married but goes ahead anyway they're both fully responsible. Just sayin.

There is no logical or rational discussion possible with someone who uses religion and ethics in the same sentence.<br />
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You know, burning witches (and scientists) used to be moral and law not so long ago, I guess for some it still is.

Hey intpj! You said it...Mitch can go form his own group on legal interpretation and fact finding for adultery...<br />
Mitch, Dude lighten up...

Mitch get off your high horse.

Linda, I think I feel the same way, I would love to have a secret affair, with a women of course............

That's why it's best to have an affair with a total stranger...