I Have Needs

Dont get me wrong, but I have needs.

So I post this note that someone will reach out to me and say yes that they have needs too.

My situation is not unusual, married for 18 yrs kids ect, but no sex or emotion from my wife. When I try to initiate it, it is like I have done something so wrong that I should be shot.

Anyway that my story
woodlands77380 woodlands77380
46-50, M
6 Responses Jul 6, 2012

I do know how you feel. I hate that feeling of I'm doing something wrong because I approach her sexually. Only 8 years married, maybe I won't make 18:

I get it. I've been married for 12 years, together 16. My husband started an affair with a 24 year old when I was 36 and pregnant with our 2nd child. I was, and still am, a very sexual and giving woman, and while not supermodel hot, I took care of myself and was attractive. <br />
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That affair turned into a 3-person relationship, but when he wouldn't leave me for her, she dumped him and my husband fell into a depression. <br />
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After a while, my husband began another affair with an Asian woman. First, it was just talking, but once he started having sex with her, he stopped finding me attractive. It has been a year and we've had sex 2 times.<br />
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I'm miserable and want to have sex with an ex boyfriend I've run into a few times recently. He tells me I'm "smokin' hot" and when we hug I feel the chemistry between us. It drives me wild with desire. I know he wants me.<br />
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And I love that feeling. I had no idea how much I missed it and needed it.<br />
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I know y'all probably think I'm an idiot to still be in this marriage, but I actually do love my husband. I just feel taken for granted and unloved.

Do it .... Being selfish is sometimes a good thing? It's probably just what you need.

I have been married for 16 years, we never have sex anymore. I am a woman with needs. I have talked to my husband till I am blue in the face and has offered everything. I get no response. I feel like a ugly duckling. I am tired of trying. <br />
I have had an affair,well FWB. I can;t tell you how good it felt. It may be wrong but I have needs and want to enjoy life.

Our sexual life is fundamental to who we are and to our relationships. If it has died away, there is a real risk that the whole relationship and fimily will eventually be broken. Can it be that sex has become boring for her after 18 years and it is not fulfilling any of her needs either. <br />
Share your thoughts with her, explain it is important to you and suggest seeking help from a counsellor before it undermines the relationship any further.<br />
You are not alone, many relationships need refreshing after 18 years and are all the better for a new start.

your story inspires me and depresses me at the same time. we will have been married 10 years this nov. the only difference is she will give it every now and then and the act of it is such a chore for her. Inspires me to do something about it and depresses me that if it is this way at 10 years what will it be at 18? thanks for sharing

oh I can completely understand the "am I wasting my time" thoughts. One day I'll not be able to do and have this fun and will I regret not doing it now?

woodlands77380 .. I can certainly understand you needs!<br />
The only thing I can suggest is try talking to your wife with no distractions and try to explain your true feelings. I feel that sex is very important in a relaitionship and if you voice your feelings your wife will understand and hopefully help to overcome the obstacles in order to get to where you need to be in your relationship!<br />
If that doesn't work, then and only them would I suggest to look for a "no-strings" just sex fwb... If you do go that route, make sure you are BOTH on the same page! :)