Curious

you can have ab affair here and you will not cheat him in reality

Maybe you just want to get even and that remains disguised as curiosity.

No you're not especially if he did that crap. Have u thought of having a boyfriend or friend with benefits you could see a night or two a week? Sometimes a girl needs a special guy friend, even when she loves her fella.

if he doesnt want you ill be more then happy to see you. your beautiful.i think hes nuts.

No, you're not nuts. Just horny. Us guys take this feeling for granted. My wife is asexual and it kills me that any "action" is condescending on her part. wish i were asexual too - would be less painful. i'd love to have a "f-buddy" for occasions.

Well, I think you are normal, and I think you shouldn't beat up on yourself for what you feel, indeed, how you act is fairly easy to control, but how you feel is just that, how-you-feel.



As for how to act? It seems that on the matter of extramarital affairs, most people fall into one of two camps, those who gasp in horror at the suggestion that an affair might be a viable option for someone who is married, and those who flippantly endorse 'cheating' as just another one of many lifestyle choices.



IMHO, however, as with most things if life, it can be far more complicated than that, which is probably which so many people are unwilling or unable to talk or even think about the subject honestly.



Okay, my thoughts?



I think that it's possible that having an affair could be the worst decision you could make at this point, and could have truly devastating consequences in your life if found out, but then again, maybe not, I mean, there is no promise that you will be found out, and instead of feeling guilt and shame, you might discover you feel invigorated and alive for it all.



Thing is, there is some wisdom in the advice that some would offer, that you should leave your husband before pursuing another relationships, and let's face it, tis hard to enter into something with another when you are not free to pursue it fully, but on the other hand, there may be valid and legitimate reasons for wishing to stay married to your husband, and having another somewhat-limited affair on the side could be just the thing that brings passion back into your life, and might even make you feel like you are no longer the aggrieved party in your marriage.



Marriage can be a good thing for both parties, and is likely to be the most stable environment to bring children into the world, but no one would ever expect any one friend to give us everything we might need in terms of friendship, and I'm not at all clear why we expect our spouses to give us everything we might need in terms of companionship, romance or sex.



To be fair, there are only so many hours in a day that one can devote to any of our relationships, and jealousy can be an ugly little monster, but I am decidedly agnostic as to whether having an 'affair' is really all that bad of a thing, nor do I think that it has to be a marriage-destroyer, and in fact, from what I have seen, there are times when it can actually enhance and embellish a marriage by making someone who has felt dead inside feel alive again.



In the end, only you can decide what to do, but you really ought to take all sides into consideration.



*) if you feel you can save and/or enhance your marriage by pursuing counseling for you and your husband, and if that's ultimately what you really want, it's probably the best route to go - society will not judge you harshly for it, and if it succeeds, then you might find happiness and fulfillment - don't go pursuing an affair to punish your husband for having had his, that's foolish and will hurt you both



*) if you are prepared for the emotional and financial fallout of leaving your marriage, then maybe you should seriously consider leaving before entering into any other kind of relationships with the opposite sex - this is what many people would advise you to do, and it's not a bad route to follow, if feasible and possible, though many times it's simply not an option



*) and...if you feel you are fully prepared to try to maintain your marriage *and* try to have something with someone else, perhaps you ought to do just that, BUT...if you should, don't do it to punish your husband, do it for YOU and for your needs - be careful about who you get involved with & make sure he has as much to lose as you do if it goes awry - and by all means, accept it as something 'other,' and just enjoy the hell out of it, do not spend a minute of your time feeling guilty and horrible, indeed, there is nothing to be gained by going down that path if you start from the assumption that it is a terrible thing to do - there are many who would roundly condemn you for choosing to have an affair, and if you accept their condemnation as legitimate, then I'd strongly advise you to not go there in the first place



I wish you peace, milady

Guilt is difficult to overcome however under the circumstances where your husband has already broken to vows, I think you have a right to give it a try to see how it feels. I believe I would be cautious to do it for the sex only though and never reveal it to anyone.

telling the wrong person can come back to bite you later. Good luck.

By the way, I have had affairs and am still married to the same man. I just keep him in the dark.

Frick: Do what makes you happiest. If you need intamcy you will find it either in an affair or post divorce. I have experienced the first. I struggle with it every day. Good luck. If you need to talk, send me a private message

Hi Frick1 ! It is a hard thing to get the thought out of your head that he cheated on you ! It does take two or maybe I should say three to cheat ! The women or who he cheated with , him and you ! It sound like he didn't do it again ? Was he a virgin ?

Private message me

Run it by him, he kinda owes you. He may even get into the idea - Who knows. Try it?

Sorry to hear about your situation, from reading your other post it sounds like your husband is pretty much a lost cause. Have you someone in particular in mind?

As if you are telling my story on a female side .....please add me ..

I NEED A MOM! if you find yourself saying this, and no one responds or comes to mind, email me, im here to help you. www.ineedamom.info

you should think how you would feel if you went ahead and did it with somebody else? would it really fill you?

Frankly, you have all the right in the world to walk away due to his betrayal. While I have never been in your circumstance, my observation is that marriages rarely work after an infidelity -- the victim typically remains unhappy and bitter. Note that not only did he betray you, but also your children. If he stepped out with a married woman, he also did profound damage to her spouse and her children also.



All this being said, do not cheat. Live your life with honesty, integrity and dignity. If you can't get over his betrayal, then divorce him in a mature manner and then find someone out there who will love and respect you like you genuinely deserve. There are a lot of good, honest men (and women) out there. There is happiness on the other side of all this nonsense if you are only willing to take the steps required.

By looking at your profile pic...you will for sure have no problem to find a Lover....

Good luck and make sure that this is what you want....

Wow, thanks for all the responses. Well I do love him but not romantically anymore and no I don't want to do this for revenge. Nor do I think it is fair do this to him and that's why for soo many years I have thought about this and not gone through with it yet. Like you said I don't want no regrets. I just feel like I need a change, because I feel our relationship is more like a friendship type of relationship. I haven't kissed my husband on the lips in 10 yrs. and it doesn't really bother him. Is this sad or what?

Do you still love your husband ?

Do you want to have an affair because you want revenge? Since he had one, do you think it's fair you should also have it? That kind of thinking might leave you regretting it even more should something happen.



Or do you feel lonely and neglected, emotionally and sexually? In such a case, I don't think anyone should be subjected to that kind of loneliness. Circumstances most likely would not enable you to just stand up and walk away; therefore you do find someone who can appreciate your emotional and intimate needs as a woman, then in my opinion it's justified to experience that... Life is short with so few special moments, enjoy it while you can.

Try the web forum www.doccool.com

;)

If u dont mind dear i can fulfill ur desire only if u feel ok with me,i dont want any women left unsatisfied with sex,if a women is not satified in sex she will be facing a problem much more then any one in this world.make a note of my mobile no 09160113578

Before you consider cheating. My wife and I had a conversation about cheating and cheaters. Ours solution is not for everyone we compromised and became swingers. I am not allowed to sleep w/ anyone else unless she's there approving and yes we have had others. The best advice I could offer is to talk it out and make up your own solution between the two of you.. P.S. if it escalates to a fight take a few deep breaths and approach the subject later it helps.

Your not terrible for thinking or feeling this way. We are sexual beings and it has nothing to do with your kindness and worth as person.



Marriage is hard work, and I wish you well as you go forward.



I do hope you continue to find pleasure and satisfaction in all of your relationships.

Listen... You only live once. This is the only life you will have and you need to be happy.

Well it's only because we have kids together. Other than that I would be gone.

Why are you still married to him?