Trail Of Destruction

After being in a sexless marriage for some years I decided to follow through with an affair. I met somebody in the same situation as myself and thought that it would be easy to meet on a regular basis.

What I hadn't realised, was how demanding a new partner can be, wanting to be with me, wanting to leave her marital home and so on - She left her husband and I moved on.

Be careful that you both want the same things or like me you just leave a trail of destruction

BK
bodykent bodykent
46-50, M
4 Responses Sep 16, 2012

I agree that karma does come back to haunt you ten fold and I can tell you I experienced it. I also agree we need care for our fellow human beings, but unfortunately everyone makes poor decisions in their life and I believe it is a learning and growing experience. I simply want to pass on to others that low libido can be treated and not to wait 8 years as I did and have my marriage suffer...

People cause 80-90% of the misery in their own lives through their poor decisions. Karma does indeed exist, and when it comes back on you, it does so ten-fold. We all have a duty of care to our fellow human beings -- not only our spouses and our children, with whom we have a special bond, but also third parties, which includes the spouses and children of others. Trail of destruction indeed -- but unfortunately this is far from being a novel story.

I'm new to this forum and I've been looking for men who lived in a sexless marriage and what their pain felt like...I'm in my early 40's and eight years ago had a female surgery that sent me into early menopause. My gyn wouldn't believe me when I said something was wrong, my libido was gone and I felt dead inside, gained weight and wanted to sleep all the time. My spouse was last on my list as we had three boys to raise. He would bring me flowers and lingerie and I could've cared less. We lived like siblings for all those years and managed to still have fun times. However, several years back, he came into our bedroom and told me he didn't love me like a husband should love his wife and if the cat doesn't get fed at home, he will look for food elsewhere...I didn't listen...Last year I switched dr's and told him my concerns and after testing he found I had been in menopause for years and my testosterone was almost 0. He placed me on bioidentical hormone therapy and instantly I became a new women. I lost 30lb's, felt great and my sex drive went through the rough. However, in March, I discovered on the internet that my spouse had been visiting prostitues. I feel like I've been through hell and cry all the time. We decided to stay together and work things out. He said he was so very lonely and just wanted someone to touch and love him. He agreed that he entered a dark world during that time, but felt he had no choice. We're closer than we've ever been, but I struggle daily with the visions of him with these women. We have been married 24 yrs and two years into marriage, I had an affair and put him through hell. We both know we made mistakes and want to start over. I guess what I'm asking is how it feels to live in a sexless marriage to help me understand his actions. Just curious from another man's opinion. Thanks...

Yes i understand that part of an affair. I dont think i want to leave my marriage. An affair doent mean you have to be emotionally bonded.