Going To Have An Affair

I feel for you as a woman, but as the mother of a son with Asperger's it breaks my heart on both sides. While I'm sure your husband has a very hard time dealing with emotions, I wonder if He had any type of councling as a child, or adult? Have you asked Him if he would go to couples councling with you? In most cases it can be free for the disabled. My son goes, and it's helping him so much. It would give you both a much better understanding of one another. Most people with Asperger's will listen and try if given the chance. They seek the communication you say is missing. (perhaps why he thought this other man was his best friend) They want friends just don't know how to go about it. If anything they try too hard, and get hurt way too easily. Have you even thought of what He may do to anyone you choose to have an affair with if he found out? Or if he might even hurt himself. Self control, and emotional stability are hard enough for people with Asperger's, let alone trying to have them when your entire life is falling apart. As the one who CAN control your emotions, why would you put everyone into such a place? I'm sorry if I sound mean, I don't want to come off wrong, it's just that your having a hard time controlling your own emotions, but are upset at someone who literally can't, for doing almost the same thing.

Why don't you get a divorce? Affairs are horribly traumatic and cruel. Do the right thing and get a divorce. You are obviously not happy in the marriage, so an affair is not going to fix your predicament.

Apparently you are young or immature. You have children and don't want them to go through a divorce. Lady wake up and smell the roses, coffee, or bull____ your feeding yourself. Those children are not going to be happy in that house living in lies. You seem to have no idea how smart your children are. They may not know what , but they know something is not right.

So you are going to take care of yourself and not worry about your commitment to your husband or your children,what is wrong with you. You may have married a loser,or you may have contributed to him being a loser. Do you really try to talk to him or at him.Contrary to what most like to believe most marriages or relationships don't fail because of one person,usually both contribute at least some to the problem. There just aren't that many perfect people !!

Do the right thing end your marriage or have him agree that you can have an affair and move on from there! Think of someone beside yourself,no said life is always fair !

Couldn't you just divorce him and then DATE, you know, what is socially acceptable? That way you won't have to sneak around, or hurt people's feelings (ok, your husband may be hurt by a divorce, idk but at least you won't have to hurt the person you cheat on your husband with if you are actually dating).

i dont think the affair is the answer.........think of long term happiness not a short satisfaction.........if your marriage has more negative than positive and those negative cant be improved i think you should consider maybe divorce....good luck!

well im sorry you are inthat situation, i hope it all works out for you .

A woman might think that she can change a man, in most cases you can't. If you are not happy and have tried everything, all emotions cry out to leave. If you have an affair, be ready to deal with the guilt unless you have a complete break from your other partner.

Good luck to you! Just be careful with affairs. There are plenty of men out there who will say anything to get laid. Don't get sucked into it. Take your time and find someone who you connect with on other levels as well.

Also .. be careful of your husband. My sister has been living with a man with Aspergers for 15 years and what developed as a loving relationship soon became more of a caregiving relationship. She is more of a mother and life coach than loving partner. She doesn't leave because she is older and he provides a roof over her head. But he can be very nasty and she walks on egg shells when around him. She has no other choice, but if you do go for your freedom.

you have the right to be happy...and feel fulfiiled...you owe that to yourself.

You feel like his care-taker and feel responsible for your husband...a marriage should be so much more than that...

I have been in a one-sided marriage for a while and even though it scared the hell out of me initially...it took about 4 months to finally get on there...I got onto AM. I found the love of my life there. I feel so much happier in my marriage...I am a better mother...I am happy and excited about living...This man has seriously changed my life in ways I never thought possible.

He is everything my husband isn't which makes it easier to deal with now at home. I feel whole and complete and really like there is nothing missing in my world anymore...and I absolutely love it.

You need to live a good quality of life...it's important...happiness is enormous...so whatever you need to get there...just do that for yourself...it's time for you to be happy...xo

Sorry to tell you this. An affair is dirty and you will be dirty. Do the decent thing and get a divorce. You might meet someone who suits you. If you have an affair, what do you think your suitors will think of you. Dirty. Possibly carrying an STD. Get a divorce.

To Survivor, you are a survivor. (Makes me think of that song)...Well, I can identify with what you are talkig about. Most of the problems in my relationship are a result of my husband's health problems. he has arthritis, fybromyalgia, etc. He has claimed the pain keeps him from being able to concentrate to get his GED. Thus, he doesn't even have his high school diploma, while I attended alw school. In fact, Im an attorney. And no I didnt take offense to your avoiding attys and the legal drama.



My husband's family and upbringing was also compltely diffent than mine. Thus, we communicate completely different, especially as time has gone on. I understand what yu say about feeling like yur doing 100% of the work. Yet, You have it worse. I can only admit to maybe 60-70% of the work. My husband does attempt to care for our daughter, housekeeping, and maintenance. I still love my husband, but I could not endure the lack of affection and intimacy.



I met a great guy on www.ashleymadison.com. It is mostly a site for married people to have an affair, but there are a few single people on there looking for fun. You can stay on AM free as a guest (as the woman) if yu play your cards right. There are not many choices out there. And dont put your pic right on front for everyone to see. Theres alot of men on the site that travel for business.



Im not saying Im encouraging yu to have an affiar. Its a very difficult decision. But also seeing as how, you will most likely get a divorce, and your situation with your husband, I can understand why you need to have one. Yu can message me if you want to talk.

call me

Hello everyone, I am new here. I hope that I do not overstep any boundaries or hurt anyone with anything I will say.

First) I, like some, dont have much love for divorce attorneys. I know what their job is, but I find somehow, if there are kids, the kids always lose. I hope that makes sense.



Second) aspbergers, I dont think I spelled that right. Anyhow, I have a coworker who's stepson has this. WOW!! He is such a nice, sweet kid. But, there is a side that alot dont see. Alot is hidden, and hidden well. Not being devious when hidden, its just a learned response ,another self preservation technique. It hides what the person truly is like and how they act. Which, obviously is how a person is perceived. and judged for relationships. I sorry you did not see who he actually is.



third) an affair. They always seem so naughty, and kinky. There is this mystery about them that is portrayed in movies and books. They are always made out to be the sexiest, hottest thing, and everyone needs to have one.... ahhh sarcasm..lol The child in me says 'hell no!!' My blood father slept with anything that would, well, open her legs. But the adult in me wants a better look at the situation. If you know your marriage 'will end' then maybe take that step. I know, it is not like walking down to the market and buying a loaf of bread. My parents divorced and it was not pretty. But, it may be the best thing, it will relieve the pain of such a sad, lonely marriage. It can be the start of something new.

On the other side, I met a man two years ago. I took what he said 'with a grain of salt'...not because I didnt believe him, but because that is who I am. (lots of years of dating dorks...) He said he and his wife were falling apart for atleast 5 years, but he stayed because of the kids (4) he 'lived' in the basement, sex if there was any was maybe every 6 months, it was a cold, emotionless, pointless marriage. We met a few times and it was sweet. He was the most gentlemanly man I had ever met. We held hands, talked about anything, sat watching the stars, he would sit beside me arm around me...everything sweet and kind. We actually didnt have sex. I could tell then that he was not a cad. Someone out for as much booty as he can get.

Eventually she found out and kicked him out. There is alot more to this. But, I asked him if it was worth it. He said I was. So, we have been together this whole time. We have had ups and downs. He is still going through divorce process, and that is the worst part. The stress of all the divorce crap. I think that is the hardest part if someone does have an affair. (whether its an emotional or sexual affair doesnt matter) Is the end result worth having the affair(s)? Or would it just be easier on everyone, including yourself, if the marriage was ended?



Please think of all factors, remembering yourself. And listen to that little voice inside you.

If you have kids try, please try to work it out first, an affair can back fire badly, you may end up in a custody battle and divorce proceeding from hell.....

Just be assured; you're not alone.....

You sound deserving of one! Please be free.......

Well go for it sweetie....It sounds like you have tried to please him but that has not worked.....Yes go and have an affair cos what I really think you want is also a good shag with a guy to make you *** over and over to also ease your sexual frustration. Yo go for it and also get a good lay from it..

Yeah, Aspergers is tough to deal with [and completely impossible to "fix"]. He is what he is and it will never change - divorcing him will be a wise move IMHO.... otherwise you will simply be used to fulfill his needs w/o any social respect or recognition on his part.

Its a shame that he is wired this way but, again, that's the way it is [and its a fundamental part of him].

Best of luck.

wud love to meet such a thought filled lady,i cud deff see us enjoying each others company! im very srry about ur situation,its sad such a obvious lady with such deserving sexual erges needs to b satified!! thats just a small incite to wat ive read, want to no more?

I live in GA , lets have some fun.

julietromeo...sorry but i had to say that wtf was hilarious!

Wow! It sounds like you really need to start thinking about moving on. I'm not going to judge you like most and say that you shouldn't have an affair, but I think it is only a short term solution & may bring even more pain to your life. If you're single, you can play the field a little. based on the way you described your relationship history, it sounds like you may gravitate towards the wrong type of guy for you.

If you are that unhappy, by all means, go for the gusto. Sounds like your relationship has been dead for sometime. I call that constructive divorce.

my wife and I make better friends than lovers. its like I married my best friend, thats great but when it comes to sex I ended up with a shy uninterested school girl. she is a great person, but she treats sex as if it is something dirty. other than that she is great so that is just my lot in life . I do get lucky at least once every couple of months . so life goes on. she pick me after she couldn't have two others she wanted. so third times the charm.lol

Maybe I’m just crazy but in my opinion your best bet would be to find someone on this site, after all who better knows the pain and agony you are suffering. Everyone here knows how you feel and are either getting out of their terrible empty relationships or having affairs. I know that I would rather be with someone who can appreciate the pain I have suffered, someone who can relate. I doubt very much that you would have to worry about not being wanted.

So, you're "interviewing" suitable mates? (I'd love to see your interviewing techniques!)

if you don't love your partner than don't be whit him its a simple answer ,but its not an easy thing to go about

Hi , i recently joined EP and I Swear I seriously feel relaxed and lighten up after reading your experiences. I got married six months back and already started feeling that my husband have a greedy looks on each and every gals he come across,since i even caught him chatting with gals and having sex on webcam . After knowing about his damn ******* habbits i am totally shattered in life. I know the fact that its long way to go for life. i am just 26years old and dont have kids ,but still i am 100% loyal till now to my husband just for the sake of not spoiling the image of my and his family. But after seeing the true colours of my husband i regret for being wth such person. Wenever i catch up with my old friends ,they really make me feel special and leave me with the feeling that i deserve much better person than him since he has cheated on me after marriage.In fact somehow i lost that trust on him and damn sure that he will never change.

Some of my old guy friends also conveyed me that there are three type of person 1. Some guys are always greedy for sex and for them sex is evrey thing they keep hunting for new gals through out their life 2. Guys who have responsibilties and for the matter of fact and with the increasing responsibilties after marriage they decide to be loyal 3. One man show and loyal through out their life.. i think my husband is from category 1.

However i took a stand henceforth that i cannot continue wth sch person who is really not capable to take forward our relationship further. rather than spoiling my entire future side by side i am saving for my futurea and creating backup for the worst scenario..."People please share your thoughts on the same "

well if your ever lonely let me know jr98278@yahoo.com