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I Want To Have An Affair, But With Whom ?

I have been wanting to end the marrage Im in for many years, and for many reasons, not just the void I feel in the romance department..Recently I began really seriously trying to find someone else who is kind loving, smart, funny and fun to be with no matter what we are doing..would love me and I her, she is someone able to laugh and cry.. someone able to love another more than themselves like I do people who I truly love... I love the feeling of being in love but it is a very hard thing to find but worth looking for..I have loved others but not the one whom Im with now, really never did, recently I had a sexual encounter which was satisfying in every way but afterwards sadly knew It could only be a temporary thing, lust, not love....True loving and sex with someone you love more than youself is true bliss and I am still searching for that.... I know it will happen beause I do not give up, am not a quiter and have so much love and happiness to give that I know in my heart someone deserves me and is looking for this same thing too.... ed silva, thisedmanis4u@myfastmail com Charlotte, NC

ucudb4me ucudb4me 51-55, M 3 Responses Oct 24, 2009

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I could be wrong, but it sounds like you are seeking and enjoy the euphoric feeling of infatuation. You're looking for something new or something real? If you're looking for something real YOU have to create it. It doesn't just happen. To love and be loved requires acceptance, accountability and commitment. Can you really SEE who that person truly is? Can you accept not only what's good but their shortcomings and ideosyncrasies? Will you be able to hold them accountable for being the very best they can be even if if means letting them go? Will you stay commited to them even when they disappoint you? If you say no to any of these questions you ain't looking for love, baby. Many people are want a Disney fantasy, but what they don't realize they're getting The Brother Grimm.

My advice stands. Quit looking until after you have a divorce. If you have an affair, chances are slim you will marry that person; mainly because you lose respect for them and vice versa. When you're divorced, look for someone who has steered clean of affairs.

You sound like you were reading my life. I know the feeling, and I, too, think it will happen.<br />
You just have to have a lot of patience.