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An Affair?

 

Yes.  I would love t have an affair with a caring woman, someone that would want an affair not just for the se

x but for the being together sharing experiences and closeness and above all touch.  The holding of hands or our arms around each other.  I have been married for 35 years and never had that without her having an alternative motive like doing the dishes or waiting on her.  She never gave herself out of love not once in thirty five years.  I think I am going crazy sometimes for the want of someone honest.  That's all I can write now I'm to upset. Thanks for listening to me rant.

 

 
markh42003 markh42003 51-55 5 Responses Nov 1, 2009

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I've made excuses for her not wanting intimacy (sexual contact). I told myself 10 times a year was ok, then eight times a year, then 4 times a year, once a year. Excuses for her not wanting me she says, is she no longer enjoys sex., I would almost want her to be having an affair outside of the marriage enjoying sex with someone that is better at love making than I am, at least I could fix that by becoming better at it or some such thing.



Her not wanting to hold me or touch me fearing that I would misconstrue her intention and attempt to make love with her is the only reason I can find for the distance she is maintaining between us. Then get this, a new wrinkle in the saga, she is mad at me for not wanting to sleep in the same bed with her. Doesnt she understand? All these years of being turned away from wanting to be close and to love my wife and her saying she doesnt want sex any longer, and she is mad at me for not wanting to sleep next to her?? Am I crazy? Or is she? Enough for now I guess, I wish I was a better writer and could make people understand the pain I am in from this. Bless you all...

I have been on EP since last winter and have evolved into a woman who has become emotionally intelligent. If you care to read my stories, there lies my life, especially my last year in this marriage of 41 yes, forty-one, years.



Raised Roman Catholic, married at 19 and soon to be divorced at 60. I saw a Monseigneur in my parish last winter and after answering his questions regarding my marriage he concluded that "my marriage vows were broken a long time ago" ... by his refusal to have intercourse with me when I requested. This was a surprise because I believed that it was my lot in life to stay married, for better or for worse ... I was wrong.



How long can we continue to be unhappy before we turn into such unhappy "older people" .. we have made penance for any wrongdoing we have felt by wanting to be loved and cherished. The need for human touch is universal from birth to death. We have life and we have love. Please don't punish yourself any longer. Don't allow your spouse to punish you. Sexual intimacy is healthy and natural. You are very normal ... very loving... don't throw the rest of your life away.. please.

I totally understand, i've been thinking about it also.....

Do I plan on leaving? Yes I do soon I think and yes 35 years is a long time to be unhappy. I was raised in a christian home and was taught when you promise to marry someone its for life. Im going to have to break that promise.

Sounds like my life but rolls reversed. Had the affair and it was emotionally worse than the marraige. So be careful if you decide to travel down that road.