Girls No Longer Waiting For Sex To Come To ThemI am amazed at how sexually aggressive US young women have become. I used to teach at a large southern university, and would always have a certain number of female students who were just plain showing too much of their bodies in class. This was Florida, but still to show up to class like you just came off the beach on holiday!? In my 5 semesters teaching this class, not one male ever showed up wearing a tank top or short-shorts—kind of says something about these young women, doesn’t it?
I think this female-initiated behavior is ultimately about control. For instance, the explosion of high school, middle school, and even primary school girls who are now performing oral sex on boys, many of whom they don’t even know, is astonishing. What is going on? All the psychology on this seems to suggest ‘girl power’ and if you think about it, this is a very powerful position of control over males. Dressing provocatively seems to be the ad girls use for a ‘promise’ of casual (oral) sex, which one of my psychology professors at Columbia called, ‘selling their bodies’. The clear statement these young women are sending is, ‘I am valuable first and foremost as a sexual ob
Actually, the new and improved feminism, I think, is in fact to blame for this phenomenon. Once upon a time, in the late 70s, droves of women went out to go to ‘work’ and thereby ‘compete’ with men on a ‘level’ playing field. Fine, except these women quickly found out that the world of work was not at all fair or nice, nor frequently even reasonable. The point wasn’t that women could not ‘handle’ this extremely competitive environment, but that this was and is the kind of competition females are not comfortable with. Men are direct, they like something or they don’t, and they often accept things as ‘just the way it is’. Women are indirect and use manipulation to get what they want, and they frequently try to change conditions through ‘negotiation’—what men call ‘complaining’. On the opposite side of this coin, when men are put into positions where they are supposed to constantly ‘liaise’ with women on a project, it often drives them crazy. These two types of preferences are never going to change, but women didn’t know this in the late 70s and early 80s. While women have succeeded in the last 40 years in making some positive changes in workplace environments, to this day it’s still basically a male realm.
Still women were determined to find a way to negotiate power in this male world—which is ironically now often run by female bosses, who have ‘adapted’. My feeling is that many women couldn’t adapt and for good reason, considering what it frequently costs women in positions of power—their health, their sanity, and their families. For these women there had to be another way, and the path of least resistance was to resort to the manipulation that was normally part of women’s home, social, and sexual lives. Women began to more aggressively use this currency of exchange at school, work, and social events; dressing in a slightly to overtly provocative manner, kissing men on the cheek when greeting, and finding myriad ways to make the men around them feel good as males, particularly the powerful alphas. Feminism had ‘adapted’, as many human strategies do, to accommodate realities that the underlying theory never anticipated. I must admit I like being around women who appreciate me as a man, but there is a point passed which such behavior becomes nakedly self-serving (not so ironically).
In a workplace environment, provocative female dress sends one clear message to co-workers, executives, and clients alike—‘products and services are not the only thing for sale here.’ Female co-workers, especially those who are not as attractive, are often jealous of such behavior as it often gives these pandering females unearned advantages. And, men or women co-workers who DO follow the rules at work are resentful of these ‘privileged people’. It is essentially the same in middle schools through college; girls who bargain for the attention of cool guys, or for higher grades, or for special access to coveted social and/or academic opportunities are seen as ‘*****’, there is no other word for it.
It is time for females again setting the standards for respect from males, and for schools, colleges, and workplaces to be free of greater-than-background amounts of sexual capitalism.