I'm Stuck

I'm 23 and still trying to complete my undergraduate program at a low level four year university. All my friends from high school are graduating with their degrees and it kills me to be left behind. What makes all this worse is that my dad has so much hope in me and I've continued to let him down every year. I thought by 23 i would be graduated and in medical school but that seems like a pipe dream. I am so stubbornly focused on getting into med school that its beginning to hurt me more than help. It kills me that my dad has rooted for me so many times and I've let him down just as many times. I slacked off and I'm getting what I deserve but having to confront my dad about how much of a failure I am just tears me up inside. I want to be the son he so wants to be proud of but it just seems like I keep failing at that one simple thing. I've never considered killing myself because that seems selfish and I would hate to leave my loved ones behind but sometimes I wonder if all this is worth it. I want to make my parents proud but until now, I've never done anything for them to be proud of. I just can't stand myself. My mom always calls and tells me how much my dad prays for me and how he holds hope in me but that always seems to break my heart because I know I'm not making him proud. I want to do something right for once and be, for my parents, the son they can be proud about. This is too hard.
dannyhp dannyhp
22-25, M
2 Responses May 7, 2012

I can't imagine how you feel. I was a Pharmacy student. And I end up dropout in the first year. I felt guilty for my parents too. Your situation is better than mine. Look at the positive side. Cheer up. I am praying to God for your success.

I feel you.. But I know you can do It. don't be pressure if you're high school friends is having their own degree. Just take it slow and be patient. hopefuly, you could be a sucessful man. God bless