Love Lost.

At school, I was the quiet one, at college was no different. Then I met him and my life changed, it was ecstatic, wonderful, loving. We argued a lot but it was mostly just two creative people under one roof. We were in love, after all.  One night said arguement meant he walked out. He didn't come back. None of his frinds ever saw him again. It was long ago now and I can't get over him. I'm sure he's dead, now. There's too many arrows pointing to it and all I can think about is wanting to be with him.

I dropped out of college, went back to my parents who think I've gone a bit mad, we were together over a year and they never met him. He was like my secret, but not intentionally. They couldn't have coped with us, I know that, that's why they don't even believe he was anything more than an "imaginary friend" because I couldn't make real ones easily. I admit, sometimes I sit and talk like he can he can hear me, but when you're alone and sad, it makes you feel better sometimes to think they might be able to hear.

I can't eat, I feel sick all the time and I'm exhausted. I look at things, ways, every day for a way to just get me out of this life as soon as possible.  He's all I think about and I've cried my eyes raw. I can't concentrate. It's been over a year and I don't feel any better, I still want to be with him so badly nothing else seems to matter. He wouldn't have wanted that but I can't help it.

I just wish I didn't feel so lost.
writersoul writersoul
22-25, M
2 Responses Aug 18, 2007

I am going offline and to bed now,please don't do anything unregretable. Peace and Love to you,J

I'm sorry for you.have you been to see your doctor? They can help you get back on the right path.I suffer from periodical suicidal thoughts,but I have never yet given in to it,my son keeps me grounded to Earth.Don't give up hope.Staying alive is what makes life so very interesting.Tell me more about yourself? What makes you tick? What do you like/like to do? peace to your heart and mind,J