I'm 18 And I Still Self Harm... :/

I lost my mother at a young age and when I was 14/15 I realized I'm never going to see her again no matter how much I dream or call her name.I have days where I just want to be with her and leave this so called world behind but I have my family to think about and it'll be incredibly selfish to leave them behind they've suffered enough.I started self harming when I was 14 and then when I was 15 it got worse because I had my mum and sexuality on my mind continuously. Gradually I just started becoming really unhappy with my life.. I feel responsible for my mum not being here any more and I have no one to talk about it too. It's been on my mind since I was 8 years old. I could of seen her before I went to school but I was going to be late so I just went straight to school.. And when I come home she went to heaven :( I used to dream that she was going to come back and tell me she's sorry for leaving me but then I started to come to terms that it was just dreams. I have mood swings that I can't seem to control and I can go really depressed for no parent reason which then leads me to start self harming.I dated someone for 22 months and we split up 11th feb 2012 and I've taken it bad. I'm now 18 and I still self harm I wish I didn't :( Sorry for going on with myself but I need to let it out :)
brokenpromises18 brokenpromises18
18-21, F
3 Responses May 24, 2012

I have been in the self harm situation and it had been ongoing for 15 years. But one day I realized however much I miss the people I have lost and no matter what had happened in the past, you just cant change it. Now I remember the good things from the past, the beautiful memories I have. Just remember one thing you can't change what has happened but you can influence what is to come. Your mum would want that and so should you. As for anything else that has happened just remember when you wake in the morning to day to say.....S**t Happens!

my dear giving harm to yourself won't change your situation
people who die still have a connection with their loved ones specially parents you can't see them but believe me they do see you,don't give yourself torture because she would be upset .be strong.my best wishes are with you think positive

i am also a astrologer and numerologist if you want i can help you just give me your date and year of birth

Hi,, my name is Dave. If you think you are alone,,you are not,, if you think no one understands, then explain it to me, and I will listen. I lost my father when I was very young as well, and grew up never knowing the father/son stuff my chums did, so I can have a similar sence of loss as you. I would leave you a private message,, but I can't, feel free to contact me, we can chat a bit if you would like,,I do not like to see you in such a state, and if I can help,, I would like to.