Alcohol Is The Pits!!

Me and my hubby can smoke weed and we get relaxed, funny, happy.But add alcohol to the mix and it is the worst!!A couple of weeks ago my hubby kept saying I want a drink, I want a drink, on and on. I hate this as he used to have a big problem with alcohol, so I hate it when he drinks!! But he wore me down, whining and making me feel guilty for ruining his life!!! So with great reluctance I agreed to 3cans of lager, thats all!! Well, we get to the shop and of course you buy 6 cans and you get 2 free, so he broke his promise and bought more!!! I got 2 cans of Stella as thats enough for me!! So I was MAD!! 6 bottles ,not 3, and these are big bottles too!!So we buy and get home.To what I hope would be a quiet relaxing drink..Well fat chance!!
Once back, I crack open the can and try to enjoy, but D he pops the bottle open and starts drinking like a guy whos been in the desert ,dying for that water!!! But it's not water, its strong lager!! And he gulps and gulps it down!! I sip mine as basically I HATE THE TASTE, I HATE IT FULL STOP!! I was wary of this drink as when D has alcohol in his system , he changes!! He gets this smart mouth, nasty with it too!! I say "Hey, slow down" But No, he carries on gulping it!! Then like I knew, he gets clever and starts an argument!! Now I don't want to argue but suddenly it's too late.....before you can say boo, we are screaming at each other!! I don't want this , I really don't but by now he's pushed my buttons!! He says something unforgivable to me.We are addicts and I'm fast reducing my methadone ,so I can switch to subutex. This for those that don't understand, is a better tablet, you are not as ill, it doesn't have the rotten side effects Meth does!Sickness,cramps, aching bones, waiting for the next dose!! Well I want off, you know!! I look at him and see the difference!!In fact D has been on them a while and he is miles better.So I really really want this for myself!!But he says,"oh ,they won't work for you!!".Well I'm gutted, how can he say that?? I never put him down like that?? I back him 100%!!! But he obviously doesn't feel the same way?? So I'm MAD!! I lose it, see red!!And he won't take it back so soon we're screaming at each other!!!I'm hurt and let down and he's being smart, laughing!!! So I say"Get OUT"!!!! I figure if he leaves we can calm down. I hate to upset neighbours but I couldn't stop and he had no remorse.So he stormes to the kitchen and I hear the clatter/chink of bottles and he says ,"Right....." I know he is off to an alchy friend he has, and I don't want him to go, but No ,he goes!!!!Well I cry and cry but I know alcohol is the culprit here!!! This wouldn't have happened if he hadn't drank it!!!
Then I have all day waiting for him to return. This is the worst... you wait, you worry, you cry,you fear!!!!!
I calm down, I sob but I try to distract myself watching "Pulp Fiction". But its a losing battle. I know the so-called friend will side with him, call me,encourage him to drink more!!!I worry, I worry!!!
Then at 10 pm, he left at 1pm!! And he rolls in, he is really drunk!!!Hes mad with me and I'm scared!! He forgets what hes done and I try to forget, I don't want a re-run!!!So I try to make it up !!I just want him in bed, asleep, to forget this long day!! So I feed him, I say "Lets go to bed now!. But bed of course to him means sex!! So I play along. But hes so out of it, he can't even unlace his shoes!! So I mother him, put him to bed!! He wants sex, and I try, I really do, but he kisses me and his breath is rank!!!! The taste of alcohol is disgusting, the worst ever!! Then sex!! And sex is all it is, not making love, just Wham Bam ,thankyou Ma'am!!!He tries to get e in the mood, but hes rough, it hurts!!He moans that I'm not trying but I am, hes just too hurtful!! He can't turn me on, hes just not gentle enough!!! Then he gets on top and hes squashing me!!! It's nothing like normal when we really rock!! He does it, but with the beer/cider snakebites he had when out, he can't do it!!! And I'm crying anyway. Then hes mad again, Its my fault of course!!???So eventually he ceases and I pray ,I pray for him to sleep. And at last he does!!
The morning, oh he has a headache, but he wakes thinking hes done NOTHING WRONG!!! So I tell him, and he says hes sorry, but does he mean it?? Well, a terrible day/night!! The worst in years.
So thats why I hate alcohol, but if it had been just marijuana, it would have been a mellow, loving night with an awesome love making session!! So I urge you!!! Leave the booze, its terrible!! It turns your mood, makes you melancholy,brings out your anger or worst........please smoke ,DON@T DRINK!!Its just not worth it!!!!
cath17 cath17
36-40, F
4 Responses May 4, 2013

How are you doing now?

holy crap. sounds awful

I totally agree with you even though I don't smoke pot. I just like Crack from time to time..lol

I agree with you totally. I do drink some but I know my limits. You sure are open about things. I hug you from afar.

Man I was mad when I wrote that!!He did it again 2 days ago, I kicked him out and said I'd call the Police if he kicked the chain in!! So he stays elsewhere and I worry but at least not having to deal with him really out of it. By next morning ,I'm up and ready to go chemist and I hear the door, Its him, and to my dismay , at first I thought he's come back to apologise but No he just wants his medicine. He was still drunk and reeked of it, so he must have been up all night!! So we go up town and hes making a show but doesn't care??So I steer him back home cos I want him to sleep it off. Then I find out hes bought dope too, which I really don't like being smoked inside, as it reeks, but I don't pick an argument, his mood is too precarious!! And yes he slept it off, but I was sick!! This behaviour is too much for me, him and alcohol just don't mix!! I hate it!! Now hes saying No, but I know this will resurface!! Thanks for the hugs , I need them now!! Cath