Any Advice for An Inexperienced Dom taking On An Experienced Sub?

i have been researching taking on the role of a dom over a sub i have been friends with for awhile. ive decided i definately want to take on this responsibility. any advice for handling a sub with all the experience? i know this can cause problems.
siggy53551 siggy53551
26-30, M
4 Responses Nov 27, 2010

I've 35 years experience as a dominatrix can tell you you must take control and give the commands. A truly submissive slave wants only to please and satisfy the dominant mistress This means the sub must completely trust the dom and do exactly as the dom commands it is the dom's desires and wishes that are important the sub slave gains pleasure from fulfiling the dom's desire by obeying the dom's commands anyone that allows a sub to have any control at all is not a true bdsm relationship.The dom mistress must decide what she desires the slave to do to fulfil her desires the dom then commands the sub and the sub obeys its very simple You might try perhaps seeking a postion as a mistress in training with an experienced dom that might help.

Your profile doesn't give much of an indication as to who you are as a person, so this is a tricky question to answer.<br />
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Do you consider yourself a true Dominant? You either are or you are not, and it's not something you can force yourself to be if it's not in your essence. (Some people consider themselves a switch, but they can identify with the Dominant role)<br />
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Are you able to lead? I would not take this on lightly; a Dom can do a lot of damage to a sub if she submits and he has no idea what he is doing. Both a solid mental connection and strong dynamic are needed. Trust is essential and paramount. I CANNOT stress that enough.<br />
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That being said, a friendship can be a good basis for two people who wish to explore D/s and learn together. Keep researching, reading and learning. There are a lot of people on EP who would be glad to help you out :)

Thanks BG, that means a lot

You are a really well informed impressive woman!

lol... not at all but thank you ;-)

Wow, how did you get in that situation?<br />
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If you are truly dominant, go with your instinct. If you need instruction on details — well, this is a state of mind — not a sport or technique.

Although my Dom has taken a few classes that I thank God for everyday... G-spot the real thing and squirting... oh yes

a few key factors. the relationship and chemistry is the most important aspect to rememeber as you venture this. even though it may be a lifestyle choice there is still need 'binding' component to keep you to gether.<br />
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Remember that submissives actually have the control as they allow or disallow actions done to them. Being 'experienced' is not so important other than to tell you what they are experienced wanting from you.<br />
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If that sounds a bit backward it is but if there are things she isn't willing to do that's the dynamic that you both are comfortable with.<br />
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Dominants traditionally take the lead of conducting what happens being mindful of the needs and desires of the submissive and bind that to the things you together.