The Toughest, Yet Most Loved Job I'll Ever Know!

I've found that the actual parenting part is easy...it's what your children may or may not encounter outside the home that makes the job very difficult. You can do the most fantastic job in the world by your children, earn yourself a parent of the year award, and turn out a tribe of little prodigies...but once they go out that front door into the everyday world, things can get pretty hairy. Your children will be met with an onslaught of false values and beliefs that will challenge the good work you've put into rearing them. They will undoubtedly make at least one friend with such loose parents you'll wonder when the authorities will turn up to collect a statement. This is where things can get messy. It is not enough to merely hope that your words, teachings, and values will stick when they are away from home. You have to be constantly involved in your child's environment from a very early age. Lots of parent-child activities at home or out and about are the order of the day...EVERYDAY for ALWAYS. This gives children confidence in the knowledge that their parent/guardian cares about them, their ideas, their interests, their oppinions, and their value as a person. Nothing safeguards a child's future best than an open and running dialogue with his/her parents. You have to be so careful with whom your child hangs around with...many a battle has ensued over inappropriate friends. You have to be very aware of what they are learning in school. If your child is gripped by a subject of study in the classroom, it is your job as a parent to add to that knowledge and exploration even if the classroom has finished with it. You cannot let your child be stunted by the slowest mover nor the highest competition. Your child needs to flourish in his/her own way whilst discovering his/her own talents. All this being said, I feel I've made my point as to answering the question posted, but I'd like to share a bit more info with all of you regarding a method of education and living which some of you may not have heard of before.

I was a Montessori educated child and my children are also being educated by Montessori standards. For those of you who are not familiar with this method and philosophy in child-rearing, I strongly suggest that you look into it because it is a God-send! You and your children will no longer be the victims of the traditional battle-infused roles of "custodial care", but will become a more peaceful, loving, and highly functioning family unit. Your children will be more confident and independent and you will enjoy watching and sharing in one eureka moment after another! Unfortunately, modern education and parenting seems to be all about custodial care, video games, television, a constant presence of fantasyland and false emotions, and those ever present and confidence crushing words "NO", "DON'T", and "CAN'T". Admittedly, this method of child-rearing is easier in the short term because children can sit for hours in front of the TV or game console. The adults get to have their "peace" while the child is occupied, but this removal of involvement between parent and child breeds many difficulties that would make parenting a truly loathesome job. I can't tell you how many times I've come across children with no attention span, no appreciation for playing outside, no sense of confidence, no independence, no love for peace and quiet, no sense of responsibility to their home or environment...all coupled with that constant rain of moaning! Moaning for the TV, moaning for the game console, moaning against "chores", for candy, a later bedtime, the next great whirring electrical toy, for having to dissist their destructive behaviour. It's amazing I'd ever had any children at all because I hate most of what I've seen from children on the outside of my home (this includes kids in my own family). Harsh sounding, I know, but think about it...how often have YOU seen these problems in children? Can you honestly say that you enjoyed what you saw? Do you think this should be considered normal? How do you feel about the long term effects of the ever-growing information-aged separation between parent and child? Is the answer to all this unbalanced behaviour in children for the adult to become unbalanced himself and yell, threaten, punish, or even hit? The answer is a joyous NO! Our lives do not have to be riddled with the baggage of such discord and absence of peace. Please, I encourage all of you to look into this wonderful method of loving education...it has the power to change our world for the better!
reddcorn1 reddcorn1
31-35, F
4 Responses Jul 13, 2010

One of the best things that can be learned at school is tolerance. When your kids come home with questions about why Tommy can say such things and they can't, or why Kim's parents let her do something they can't, by all means reinforce what you taught them the first time around, but also teach that living with people that think, act, and value the world differently is a good thing. They can hang around Kim and understand her without doing what she does. They can listen to Tommy without repeating what he says. All these will help them deal with life in the real world, when you lose the death grip on them -- when they don't come home to "yes, you were right and they were wrong" -- so that they can live with differences and still have so much confidence in the way they live. This helps especially when a loved one (read: wife) contradicts your values. If you teach common sense, confidence, etc. as opposed to just obedience, your kids will have an easier time of saying no to the people they most admire and love, when they really, truly feel they can't live the way that loved one tells them they must.

Sounds like you've done a fantastic job there! Montessori Education was actually developed with parental influence in mind. Originally, it was meant for the parent/care-giver to implement and from the sound of it, your kids had quite a teacher in their mom!

Sounds like you've done a fantastic job there! Montessori Education was actually developed with parental influence in mind. Originally, it was meant for the parent/care-giver to implement and from the sound of it, your kids had quite a teacher in their mom!

Thank you for your story. I've heard of the Montesessori School and know a woman who teaches there now, but when my children were young, I couldn't afford anything such as that, but a good friend told me that little kids are like sponges, and to fill them up with everything I could. Being a stay at home mom was a blessing. <br />
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It would be difficult to explain my methods of teaching. Of course I bought what I could, read to them voraciously, drew pictures and wrote words beside them, wrote on steamed mirrors, in the dirt with a stick. In fact that's where my older son wrote his name for the first time. BTW, they're 19 months apart. By the time they got to kindergarten, they were advanced. My younger son was in the age bracket where I could have held him back another year, but he was so smart. Of course, I talked with educators about whether to do that, and they recommended I did so to let him mature, but a Principle told me that children who could read before Kindergarten were considered "gifted", and that clinched it for me.<br />
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I let him go early, but I always worked very closely with the teachers and volunteered from Pre-K up to 6th grade, in the earlier years helping the children with reading and math, then some of the teachers would let me grade papers and it was more of a help to them to run copies. By the time they reached 6th grade, the teachers seemed to have no need for me.<br />
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Up till about 5th grade I *assisted the kids with homework, grilling them for up-coming tests, etc., and trying to give them a larger vocabulary than they learned in school. We did Science experiments together. I was never good at Social Studies, and I blame the teachers for that. Their idea of teaching was giving dates and names of events and wars without ever really teaching what they were about. My husband has taught me more on that than I learned in school<br />
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When the boys didn't want me to help with their homework anymore, I was upset and talked with their teachers about it. They were encouraging, telling me that I had done a good job giving them study skills, and now they were independent.<br />
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I never regretted a moment of teaching them, academically, morally, spiritually. My husband often joke about how we don't know how we got such intelligent (and good looking) kids when we both felt dumb as stumps and not very good looking. If I didn't have the ultrasound from my youngest son, I'd swear they mixed the babies up in the hospital, but it was a profile shot, and matches his profile now.<br />
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Behaviorally, they were wonderful. We were told many times that people would line up for blocks to have kids as well behaved as ours, and it wasn't through "thumping" them, but talking and teaching, and "catching" them being good. Of course there were little childhood incidents that were annoying. Mostly they went through a short stage of fighting, then became best friends.<br />
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The worst thing they did was to grow up. When other people couldn't wait to get rid of their kids, I wanted to have a death grip on mine, especially when the older one dated and married a girl that has not made him happy, to say the least. Actually she's caused him a lot of heartache. It's at those times I wish he was a toddler and I could "fix" it for him, but all I can do is pray, and as his pediatrition said when he was a toddler and climbed all the time, "Just be there when he falls, Mommy". My husband and I WILL be there. The only good thing to come out of that marriage was my grandaughter, now age four. I have her 2-3 times a week, and she appears to be advancing at a fast pace. The time may come when we have to keep her a lot due to things her mother does.<br />
At 57, I don't know if I'm up to it, but I'll pray for grace "House"? He looks like he could be his son, and has his mannerisms down to a tee! He's got the cane, video game, ball, and can imitate him. His eyes look EXACTLY like Houses'.<br />
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He began playing the piano at age 4 and is now our church Pianist, and also sings. Maybe because I'm his Mom, but I think he sings better than some Gospel singers on the radio.<br />
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Yes, being a mother is the best job. They may step on your toes when they're little, and on you're heart (at times) when they go out into the "world", but I wouldn't trade the experience of being their mother for anything in the world!<br />
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nightangel