Difficulties of Parenting

I'm a mother to a wonderful, beautiful 14 month old boy, whom I love more than I can ever express in words.  He is my everything and I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be a mother in the first place. Yet I can't get over how difficult it is to always be a good parent. 

Before I became a parent I was a school teacher and I knew how wonderful it was to be part of a childs life and I assumed I also knew its difficulties.  Being in the position where I was always in contact with different children and their parents, it gave me the opportunity to evaluate different parenting styles and I thought I knew exactly what I was going to do when I became a parent.  It was so easy to cast judgment on the parent who seemed to have lost control over their child and looked helplessly in your eyes for help.  I knew then that I didn't want to be that parent.  There was also the perfect mom, who was super organized and super hyper about everything her child did and didn't do and whas just a super conrol freak.  I knew that wasn't me either.  So I admired the moms who seemed to have this perfect balance of having the respect of their child but also having this loving, open, fun relationship with their child. 

Here I am now, with 14 months of parenting under my belt, yet I feel so hopless at times like its the first day home from the hospital all over again.  Rght when I'm getting the hang of things and trying to find a balance between my childs personality and my own expectations he goes and changes on me and I have to start all over again discovering him while trying to hold on to my beliefs and certain standards.  I always feel at conflict and I really don't know what to do about it.  I want to be friendly and loving with my child but I also want him to respect me and acknolege me as some sort of authority.  I want my child to be healthy and eat all the nurtritious organic foods yet I also want him to be a child and eat candy and ice cream and all the things you don't get to eat once you're an adult and realize their nutritional values.  I want him to be adventurous and take risks but I'm deathly afraid of having him get hurt. 

So while all these thoughts are swimming in my head at all times of day my boy is being a rambuctious little rascal who isn't afraid to test his limits and my own at every turn of discovering this new world around him.  If i'm patient enough, in his own little way, my son shows me exactly what he needs. Now to work on being patient...
blueangel blueangel
26-30, F
33 Responses Jul 13, 2006

It doesn't seem to matter what age they are or whether theya re a boy or a girl. <br />
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I'm kinda new to this also, but in an entirely different manner. <br />
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Though it doesn't always work (at least not yet), set goals, set standards (parenting is a 24 hour a day job) and set expectations! Rewards for successes, smaller rewards for trying hard and an honest effort.<br />
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oh, you WILL be judged! :) (that goes back to the 24 hour a day rule)<br />
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good luck and have fun with your little boy

haha. Everyone who isnt a mother yet swears they know what its like to have kids because they are in a postion where they work with kids everyday. I dont care if you are a sister or brother who took care of your siblings, I dont care if you babysit your neices, nephews, cousins, neighbors kids almost every day of your life, I dont care if you are a teacher for 20 years, you NEVER know what its like to truely be a mother/father until you actually are one and then you see how hard it really is. This post by the OP just proves my point.

I'm with you... Five years later I have read every book on spirited, difficult. Explosive children... Not to blame the child we have taken parenting classes, I personally have seen a psychologist and after doctor and teacher nod.. My bright, amazing but extremely defiant son is also seeing a psychologist... Needed professional help. This is not what I thought parenting was about. I'm so good at my job. Great with other kids but sooo poor at the most important job in my life... I have tried to get real help and at this moment I just need empathy.... Thank you.