Said It Outright

Some of you may think that it's in my head. That I think everyone hates me. But it's true. Everyone hates me. My family hates me. I don't even call them my family anymore. Everyone single one of them has said it to me one point or another. 'I hate you. Why are you even here? Just go away and die somewhere'. My mother has even tried to kill me a couple of times since I was 8 years old. That time she tried to suffocate me. She has said that she has no daughter and if she ever saw me in a life or death situation she would just let me die. Everyone says they wish I was never born. I'm a useless person that is a waste of life and I will be a failure in life. Not amount to anything and I should just stop trying. I don't know what I have done wrong. I barely have any friends. Maybe about 3-4. My phone never rings. Nobody calls me and asks me to do anything with them after school.
Most of the time I just think about committing sucide but I'm just so scared of dying so I just lock myself in my room and read the bible. The next day it all happens again.
AloneAndLonelyAmi AloneAndLonelyAmi
18-21
Dec 7, 2012