Every Relationship Changes You

Every failed relationship changes you. In my case i feel like its for the worse. I've become very jaded and mistrusting of people. I can no longer give 100% of myself to anyone because I'm too afraid of getting hurt yet again. Rather than learn from the mistakes I made in the past I just seem to keep repeating them and hooping for different results. I'm hoping to find a guy who can prove to me that there are still nice honest people left out there. But I doubt I'll ever find that.

Jasminee Jasminee
26-30, F
7 Responses Feb 18, 2009

You know, it IS possible to feel the pain and make use of it. It's definitely tough, as AP said, though.<br />
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I used to feel like this. Why does everyone else seem to 'get it' when I dont (it being love, attention, affection and what the heck to do to have a good relationship)? Now I just get online and read, read read when I dont 'get it'. And I try to figure out why.<br />
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It takes humility, because we'd all like to think that everyone should love us just as we are. But think about how you feel about these men from your past... loved some bits but not others.... well, that's probably how they feel about you. Which bits can and are you willing to work on might well determine your outcome next time. <br />
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I wish you luck.

You probably jumped into another relationship too soon after ending one. The soul needs time to heal and restore itself before it can go forward and love another. Never be in a hurry to fall in love. Take all the time you need to examine your partner to be and don't be afraid of spending time alone with yourself. It is refreshing and rewarding in itself.

and you know what, it's like a spiral, you think you are moving in a circle, repeating things, same incidents, situations, same faces, heart-aches, just the same, but on a different level, at different age, different places. You so well know of it when everything is OK. Once you lose it, it more or less seems like same S***, over and over. I'd be saying something more delightful when I will be tougher than I am now. I will be pretty soon I know. These things somehow do not work. One has to find individual space and respect it, stick to , trying to know what best we can do in this circus, our strengths, or weaknesses. Apart from that, making others feel OK about life, to make them smile is easier when we do not have expectations like we have while in relationships. We can open up and live well, respect and Love more even without relationships.

Every experience makes you who you are today...the experiences may have been bad, but if you feel good about yourself, then a lesson has been learned...<br />
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Don't waste time on the past...if you keep looking back you might not see something wonderful right in front of you :-)

Try to look at in another light, Look outside the box. Ok, we have all be hurt in our lives in someway or another, relationships, friends... But the relationships and the reason that people have come into are life for a reason. If you feel that you really hate that person because they hurt you, look at in this way..You may not like them as a person which is fine, but like and hate are on a fine line..that person must have meant something, or means something to you. There will be that person out there for you, but don't look for it, everything in life happens for a reason, and good things come to those who wait. Take this time to fine you, find out who you are, what you want , and never settle for less than that! Be you, and know one else. Explore life and what it has to offer.<br />
Best wishes<br />
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Steph

I know what you mean the last relationship really messed up my head and now I carry a ghost with me, <br />
Its the hoping that theres someone great out there who can change your mind that proves you still believe!

Live and learn is how i look at it and as a learning experience of what not to do the next time. I dont look back. I just dust myself off and keep going! Only way to be. If you keep holding on to the past you will never have a better future. Best of luck!