I Need A Father Figure

I'm a 20 year-old girl who has lived in a single-parent household for the majority of my life.  My parents separated when I was a year old, and since that time I only saw my father a few times.  I only really have one memory of actually seeing him.  He used to call or write occasionally, but he stopped contacting me when I was about 10 years old.  I've never really felt connected to him on any level.  What I've realized about myself lately is that I'm kind of desperate to have a father figure in my life.  Maybe it's because I'm becoming an adult, and am now realizing what I never had as a child, and what I'll never have now.  But I'm also realizing that this may have been something I needed my entire life growing up.  Ever since I was little, I would develop crushes on TV and movie characters who were older, and that continues to this day.  I used to crave the attention of most of the adult males I came into contact with, which were very few.  Most of my friends have fathers in their lives, and that always fascinated me.  I know that every father is different, but I am interested in how having a father feels.  More than anything, I just want an adult male to take actual interest in me, care for me, and be concerned about where I'm going in my life.  I do have a boyfriend whom I love, but I can't achieve this particular desire in a romantic relationship.   I wish there were some way I could adopt a father or something.
dvdmphlnphcfmcah dvdmphlnphcfmcah
18-21, F
2 Responses May 11, 2012

I grew up with a horrid, abusive father for 18 years. Can't stand him. Wish he was never part of my life... But now, after being married (now widowed) I have a real dad. "Anyone can be a father, it takes someone special to be a dad." My husband's dad is more of a dad to me than mine ever was. He is so great! You CAN still have a father figure as an adult. Remember that even though you're an adult you still have more to learn and still need people to look up to. I wouldn't necessarily say that you missed out, but that you probably have a more unique view of things compared to your friends. And you STILL can have a father figure, even at 20. It's not too late. Maybe you'll get married and your father in law will be like one of your friends or you could even just meet someone who's like a mentor to you. I wouldn't think it's too late, or feel down about it. It could be worse, and it can be better... just wait it out. If you never find that person... Who says you've actually missed out? ... The rules of society? Don't let things get in your head.
And what many people do is they point out the things that they didn't like about their own life and they feel better about it when they make sure their kid's lives don't have that, or have the potential to be better. That may satisfy you some day. I vow that I WILL NOT marry someone who would be a bad father, no matter how much I love them, because I hated the way my father treated me and I wouldn't want my kids to have a bad dad. I hope I helped you feel better in some way and that I didn't offend you in any way. Don't dwell on things that should've been, but maybe what should be and what you can do now.

the same problem here, miss my daddy so much