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Hmmm Of Course....

i supposedly was promised things by god and it all turned into ****...i was diagnosed with skitzo effective disorder with bi-polar tendencies, voices torment and laugh at me day and night not to mention the severe depression.Some say they r demons messing with me,but im not sure. I always had a severe problem with controlling my thoughts, i used to be afraid of ******* god off with a wrong thought while i have little control over my thoughts. Its all apart of my got so bad once that my thoughts were trying to worship the beast and i would pace for hours bcuz 4 some reason pacing helped me control my thoughts and then i'd pace till i could fall asleep(i couldnt sit still otherwise i probly would accidentally do it). Sometimes i feel like im being burned with fire, their is so much pain but seemingly no bodily reason. I would writhe in seemingly burning pain all over my body.Sleep is the only cure besides the fact that one day when i was feeling this pain(not as bad as it first was)at work and i went into the bathroom and felt some being looking at me like im a girl and i would claw at my legs bcuz it felt good (mainly bcuz it's stopped the intense burning) and then next thing i know ppl were saying that god was going to marry me(even though im a guy) and that i was supposed to marry my sons and ****....HUGE REVILING!!! Sleep is the escape from my pain,my lack of control of my thoughts and the voices tormenting me. Nowadays the pain is usually gone,but i still have other problems. See supposedly i was supposed to be this lord from the west guy(the name i was promised) and later i found out that that name is in the bible (isaiah 59, the guy that comes like a flood or pent up flood or whatever) and next thing i know people are trying to stop me from (if i am really this person) making righteous and ending mass genocides and that sorta thing. I go through all of this with seemingly no profit at all (even 98 rock was talking about it and siding against me unless this is just a part of my skitzophrenia)im being mass rejected as im a one manned army and im going up against god knows how many others with no help at all....i even in abhorring the great harlot in revelation for giving glory to herself decided to not give glory to myself and so i decided to change my flesh into the narrow reviling judgement i saw this one kid had in a my dream i had once and it actually worked...i was visited at my work and all of a sudden it was brought up (b4hand i was abused by others 4 it) and he said i would look like the joker and so i grabbed black lipstick put it on (when i got home)and then my mom said i looked like the joker,but then guess was later taken away and all that was for NOTHING...can i ever profit? It could all be just my skitzophrenia because im living in such a hellish world where i get nothing for the **** that happens to me...BTW my full promises that god supposedly gave me are this...All shall call you and your works the lord from the west, you are the maker of so many righteous, you shall glorify god at jerusalem, all the trees of the earth shall sing your name, you shall be remembered from generation to generation and that im the type of chosen one mentioned ay matthew 20:25 and you shall see god...if this was god promising me these things then HOW THE **** did i mess all this up to have the problems i have a doormat and most people tell me that not killing myself properly is a ABUSED...
CryptaLuck CryptaLuck 22-25, M 7 Responses Jan 20, 2011

Your Response


I am so sorry 😩

Wow you really are tormented by deamons I use to be to I understand what you are going threw I almost did not make it out but I refuse to belive those were my thoughts I sought help threw the church I went to alot before I found the right one that actually helped me I got baptize in Jesus name and spoke in tounges witch game me power over the devil then I use the word of god to fight him back and shut him up it worked. God is the only one that can deliover you from this

I got a cousin thats pranoid skitzophrenic, and when he watched his friend put a shootgun to his head and pull the trigger it triggered the disease in him. It was hard to see him when we first learned about his disease. He was supper violent and the voices in his head disturbed him night and day he didnt recognize any in the family and thought that mario bros were coming through the tv to get him, among other hallucinations. Bad thing was that his brother was a marine and had gave him all kinds of dangerous gifts like different guns and samurai swords that he was flailing around and bout took my head off. He was institutionalized till they got his meds right and has been ok for a decade or so. Not the same person he was by far before the disease was triggered, but not haunted by horrific hallucinations either

I have multiple alters inside because I was severely abused as a child. I know about hearing voices. I know about losing control.
I read about the diagnosis and it says that if you choose not to be medicated, it is likely that you will have an unreal view of what is real. It even specifically mentions that a person with this condition may believe they are seeing and talking to the devil and other similar creatures.
So it is up to you if you are going to try to change this. You have to do something different if you want things to be different.

My friend was diagnosed with the same thing and I was with her when she had similar experiences. Sometimes they would put her on medication that worked well and really helped her, but she kept coming off and would keep going through these experiences and her life would fall apart each time. She kept losing jobs, fighting with people, losing her apartments, etc. She didn't want to accept that she needed the medication to control her thoughts and hallucinations. God makes ways for us and the medication is there to help. Unfortunatley there are many illnessess and diseases that are not cureable or atleast manageable without medication. If someone with diabetes stopped taking insulin they could die, I told her she's no different and not the only one who has to take medication but she never listened. She didn't want to help herself. You must take steps to help yourself or no one else can. Sorry you have to deal with this.

Wow you have done a lot of seeking to find your truth. If you would like to stop thoughts from nagging you from within I can tell you how I did it. I know your situation is very different, but I believe that these methods work regardless of the person or mind. The only thing that matters is that the person taking their running mind back must refuse to allow it to run rampant ever again. Do you ever feel as though your thoughst exist independantly of yourself? If so then your thoughts may not be you ,I have many messed up thoughts and I never give them the power to believe they are me. The ego is an extreemely selfish being and only projects thoughts which keep it in power. I am here if you ever wanna chat, grant it I dont get on often lately, but hit me up if your interested in any way :)

sorry man. Theres alot of us who suffer greatly in life in many ways all the while having f8h n hope in Jesus. U just have 2 break thru all the crap satans allowed to throw at us in this world.