I'm Not Sure What My Place Is.

I've never really dealt with death on a close personal level. Of course, that is not a complaint, and I could never even begin to understand how it feels to lose someone you really care for.
My boyfriend's father just moved to Florida, alone. His son chose to stay in Ohio with me and finish school here. Before I came along, his dad was his only friend. When his parents split up, he was forced to take a side. He doesn't really have a mother figure anymore.
Well about a week after his dad moved, he died in a car crash. That same day, my steering went out on a curve on the freeway going 75 and I miraculously missed the trees by a couple feet.
Anyway, that night, I stayed on the phone with him for five or six hours, and I've never felt that close to anyone in my whole life, and I've never cried so hard, or felt so scared.
That was, oh, maybe two months ago.
Since then, I'm lucky if I hear from him once a week. And when I do hear from him, its like the whole thing never happened, and nothing is wrong. I mean, he's gotta be hurting. Right? And its not that he can't open up to me. Because he has, on several occasions, about so many things. For a while, I would call him every night, even though I know he wouldn't answer. But I don't want to feel like I'm smothering him or forcing myself on him.
Its like we are only in a relationship when its convenient for him, or when he feels like having a girlfriend around to talk to.
Anyways, the whole thing is a huge communication problem, and I don't know what he wants, ever. And I feel I have no right to be frustrated. He's going through a lot, and I'm really scared for him.
Brueggemann1 Brueggemann1
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 3, 2012

Just keep reaching out to him, it sounds like he was the only child and maybe having to deal with all the legal stuff related to his father's estate. You may consider asking some very hard questions that need to be answered?
How can you help? Are you prepared to move to help him? Does he plan to return to finish school or lay out a semester? Is the relationship dying due to the distance? If so can it be corrected?
Try to have an agreement in the relationship or any "That it is OK to disagree, because in any relationship there will be issues that the two of you will not agree on.
Try to not fear their reaction to any question you ask, be bold and honest in thoughts and feelings, even if it may hurt.
I wish you the very best.

This is really insightful. It gave me a lot to work with. Thank you so much for this, it means a lot.