i honestly dont know what to do anymore. i am seriously thinking about becoming a lesbian. my ex cheated on me really bad and i  have really bad trust issues because of it. we stayed together in the beginning of college but then i broke up with him because it was just too much he was in arizona and i was in new york. then when we were back from winter break we hung out, he said he didnt want things to be weird between us so it was just a friendly hang out. well we got back together and then i caught him cheating on me. he had another gf in school and turns out that on top of that he had sex with 9 other girls. 

now, i am/was with this guy in aa and we got along great. then he said that he didnt want to be with me right now cas he wanted to work on his sobriety and better himself as a person, so i was completely fine with it. he said that his feelings for me didnt change he just wanted to work on himself. so like 2 weeks passed and this girl was writing flirty things on his facebook and i started to get a little suspicious, but i gave him the benefit of the doubt. then the girls ex messaged me and said that they were hooking up and i called him and asked him if this was true and he swore that it wasnt and that the kid was a wacko and just wanted to get back at him for something he did to the kid when he was still using. so i looked at the kids facebook and he was a wacko so i decided to believe him. then the girl wrote hey baby on his facebook and i told him that i was done and that i couldnt believe that he lied to me again. then he starts begging me to talk to him and he wanted to explain everything to me. so i let him and it was the same **** and i told him that i dont trust him and i dont believe him and if it really was true then i would believe him. and we met yesterday to talk about things and i was just all over the place because i do love him and i dont know if he would do this to me when he knows what happened with my ex. but we left eachother on good terms. well, im just dumb to trust anything. he deleted his facebook cas he said that he didnt want to deal with the **** from home. so im friends with some of his friends on fb and that girls ex wrote on his friends wall and was talking about how his ex and tony (my guy) were together and how she wasnt going to change for him and all of this ****. and im just done, i dont want to know anymore and i feel dead inside right now

xxmichelexx xxmichelexx
18-21, F
Feb 8, 2010