I Think I Shall Go Home

I am seriously considering going back to my ex, and accepting his marriage proposal, knowing that I cannot be faithful to him.
I have cheated on him numerous times, most frequently with the same guy, who was a coworker of mine, and is younger than my oldest child. He is also incredibly hot....I get so turned on just by the fact that he wants me, I cannot help myself. I have had sex with him at work more times than I can count. Once, I was working with a girl that is also a ****, and he stopped by to see her! I just giggled at the look on his face when he saw me there. He said, "I didn't know you were going to be here", walked past her, and grabbed me. Without a word, right there in front of her, he put his hand down my pants and told me how glad he was to see me. The next thing I knew, I was on my knees with his **** in my mouth. She came closer, and watched, even commenting, "wow, you are really good at that!" Then he and I had sex, and she said' "he only ever lets me give him head" I was shocked by that, and didn't know what to say! Since then, she wants to get together with me for incredibly wild sex, and I see no reason why not. He is waiting for me to come back, and I miss his attention. So, when I go back, I have no doubt it will start again. My "friend" has been in contact with me numerous times since I moved away. He has no shortage of women
My man has actually confronted this guy, who just told him, that's between you and your girl. I tried to convince him, if we were going to stay together, we need to go where we don't know anyone and start over.... but he wants to stay where he is. And the craziest thing is, the man who wants to be my husband is well aware of my slutty ways. He said they are part of the reason he fell in love with me.
Should I just cut loose this man who loves me so much because I will never be a "good wife"?
chaoticsoul chaoticsoul
41-45, F
Jan 12, 2013